Category: Intuition

healing · Intuition · new thinking · spiritual lessons

Are you an Emma Lou or a Cranky Patron?

designingfairy4 Comments

Bill and I went to the new library the other day and I am writing this from a cozy seat there now. You should see the new building. It’s a bit out of place in our AZ town–modern architecture, futuristic design, bright orange chairs and state of the art computers. It looks like a spaceship. I keep wondering when we are going to take off.

While hanging out in the non-fiction area, I overhead the beginning of a conversation.  A woman with her daughter was complaining about the new library. It’s too big…she can’t find anything…why didn’t they carry this book or that? The complaints didn’t stop. The vent was blowing on her head (but she refused to move). They only have one vegan cookbook and it’s not even the most up to date.  

I glanced over at Bill who frowned. “Why then, doesn’t she leave?” He whispered to me.

After twenty minutes of this barrage of nasty complaints, I was feeling cranky myself! This woman, I thought, must be absolutely miserable. How can anything good get through that?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve had a few bad days where my nasties probably came out like that–in a barrage of criticisms. This was a scary mirror I didn’t want to have.

When we got home, there was Emma Lou Bangles, our 3 year old basset girl. (A mirror I’d like to have.) Emma Lou, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of the cranky library patron. Emma Lou is excited about everything. A leaf? Cool! The sun is out? Yeah! A kiss? Oh good. A moving bug on the carpet? Even better!  She is a high energy, vibrational being made of pure God. All she sees is light.

Perhaps the cranky patron was once like Emma Lou, and somewhere along the way, that light inside of her got horribly blocked. She couldn’t see the leaf, or the sun, or even delight over the crawling bug! They all become nuisances.

So, today, which are you? Don’t become a cranky patron. Hang out with the Emma Lou’s and have them rub off on you.

Hey, is that glitter? Cool….

healing · Intuition · spiritual lessons

Crazy energy report and slow time of year

designingfairy

Okay, the energies have been wild lately! If you are sensitive, you are feeling it. I’ve had a bug lately and because of the fever, I was so ungrounded and seeing the energies. it was coming off of everything! There’s been lots of spirit contact,  lots of changes, and lots of Guides hanging nearby (opposite of what Emerging Angels has reported). My Guides have been near as well as, many clients’ Guides lending a hand. The energy is building for big changes and new doors opening that are about to happen. It’s been busy! It may be Mercury Retrograde, but it’s also a weird time of year..August/September.

Funny story…one year many moons ago, I saw a career counselor at the college I often take enrichment classes at in desperation and frustration.  We went over my Myers Brigg and decided I was an INFJ. I told her I was so tired of my work at the time and I wanted a change. I mentioned how I wanted to create books and art.

Switch to the next year. I went to same career counselor. Bitched about the same things. She told, “Do you realize you showed up here the exact time of year as last time?” Apparently, the August/September slump time affects me greatly. I worry about paying the basics and if this is what I should be doing…blah blah blah. Come October, things really pick up and I shut up again until January slump.

I tell this to myself after massive marketing and publicity and still just coming out of slow times. Apparently, there is a rhythm to life we can’t avoid. Perhaps each year I am one step more ahead. Or maybe I need to ask for more.

art · healing · Intuition · manifesting · new thinking · spiritual lessons · writing

Losing my heart food

designingfairy

I think my heart is closed down.

I just came back from a dance class at the college, which felt glorious and fun. Doing fun dance steps, swaying to the beats of the music, brought me back to the olden days when dancing was nurturing for me. I practically grew up in a dance studio from the time I was four or five. My second home, is what my Mom would call it. The poor woman had to play taximom to my sister and I back and forth to the studio. I grew up with the owner’s daughter, Haley, and I have fond memories of playing with Dawn dolls and dollhouses in her room at the back of the studio.

There are some bad memories too, when I got older in high school, still dancing, but then battling body image, a tough teacher now saying curves were not good, and as a result, the beginning of an eating disorder. Some of those memories are coming back as my older body has entered the dance class among the young ones, but I don’t want those memories to override my joy.

The coincidences are overpowering right now in regards to this class. My one dance teacher was Russian and called me affectionately “Runny.” This teacher at the college is also Russian. When I heard her call my name the same way, mixed feelings swept through me.

Old loves and lost joy are the themes coming up for me now. I used to adore writing and took every class at the college I could. My first writing class I met one of my best friends and felt a delicious belonging I hadn’t felt for some time. I am now taking a class in play and screenwriting, which brings me back to my acting days, more times of belonging and happiness.

I haven’t lost drawing, which I am grateful for. Through the years, however hard they may have been, I kept at it. Paper and pen flowing.

Ironically, I taught my Fairy Joy class this summer for the first time. I needed the class most of all. You see, I had lost my joy and closed my heart. I know this now. We are raising a very sweet and charming kid, who has lots and lots of issues from having a very tough beginning. That beginning colored her world and made it a place of hard survival and trauma. The problem is, she doesn’t differentiate between then and now. She has the same tactics: manipulation to get what she needs, lying, false accusations, splitting, triangulation, creating drama, etc. It’s way above even the normal teenage stuff. But what she shows others is a perfect young girl, so we look like the bad guys. As you can imagine, it’s been very, very hard for us to give while not feeling anger.

So, I am exhausted. I’m spent. My husband and I  meet with several therapists a week to learn how to parent her and try to undo the exhaustion, the lack of joy, and the misunderstood & uneducated comments from the outside world.

Which brings me back to my joy and the classes. What I wrote first here is the most telling. Dance was nurturing. Through trips to the studio I spent time with my Mom, who has since crossed over too early. Mom was nurturance growing up. Writing is from my soul–a gift from me to you. Drawing connects me to that little girl unaffected by the losses and pains of the world. In the process of trying to heal our little girl, we got caught up and began to live in the rollercoaster of her world–a very dark, hurting place. And much worse, those who were meant to be helpful, hurt us much more, by not witnessing us or honoring our needs. From this dark place, we forgot how to nurture ourselves. We may even have felt we didn’t deserve to be nurtured. The message we repeatedly got: Parents only give selflessly and have no needs of their own. I’ve seen this dynamic lately mirrored in my outside world by not getting what I need–the very basics. But I had forgotten the food for my soul, the very basics for my inner world’s needs–the art, the words, the movement, the mothering!

God, the Universe, my spirit helpers, brought me to these classes and gave me the coincidences. This has led me to the understanding that we can not give from an empty place. As parents we have a right to our own needs too. As healers, artists and teachers, also. We need to open our hearts again and we can only truly do that when we are fed.

(If you are needing your joy back, consider the Fairy Joy class to rediscover what feeds you. Sign-ups are happening right now.)

Intuition · new thinking · spiritual lessons

The Universe is streamlining me

designingfairy

The past few weeks, the Universe or God (whatever your preference or beliefs), has been streamlining and cleaning up my life. It doesn’t feel good or look good, but I am sure when it is done, it will be what is the very best. Our relationship with our daughter is going through huge upheaval from her early past coming up (frustrating because we don’t have any control over her past),  and affecting the present, but we are finding through lots of needed family therapy, the family needed the re-tuning to be a more harmonic group based on the present.

We will soon be moving to a newer and nicer place that we hope will be a better version for us. After selling our house, our first rental wasn’t the best. We lucked out with this temporary gig because we could have all our dogs, etc., and the rent was cheap, but we’ve been living with one bathroom and I got clearly the lesson was to ask for and expect more.

Today, a representative from Fairy School in the UK informed me that Fairy School, those words, were copyrighted. That fairy school is a francise of kid’s parties. Sounds good actually. If I was in the Uk, I’d probably want to attend. My school consists of psychic and very woo-woo classes, probably which, the little girls might run from screaming. So, I had to retool and rename everything Fairy Online School, which, once I get past the huge irritation and all the hours redoing the website, I realized was much more of an accurate name. I do offer, afterall, online classes, and it is an ON LINE school.

I am thinking of cutting my hair, maybe streamlining that. I think I will take the initiative so the Universe doesn’t have me catching my hair in a door or something. Sorry, cancel that. But you get the drift.

Maybe I am just being forced to be more honest with my life; more authentic and truthful of what I want and need. In those areas where I am holding on to what doesn’t belong, it seems I am getting some help eliminating, whether I like it or not.

healing · Intuition · new thinking · spiritual lessons

Knowing Your Limits-it’s enough

designingfairy

Why are all our big lessons so hard to learn?

Last night on date night, I got sick on dinner and almost had a full-blown panic attack in my favorite hang-out, Barnes and Noble. A little FYI, Pampass Grass (for recentering) and Rose 81 (for calming down after emotional breakthrough) brought me out of the attack pretty quickly.

It occurred to me in that moment, that perhaps, just maybe, I could be asking too much of myself right now. I’ve been up nightly with Foxy, our red dog, since December, who is progressing nicely now, but had been seriously ill. Before that, we had a crisis with our special needs daughter that left us beat-up and spent for months. Do I grant myself a rest? No. I plunge forward! I’m a soldier. Strong and independent.I can prove it! I can take on and handle whatever God or the world throws at me.

When our bills got out of hand to pay for Foxy’s care, we posted on our blogs, and pleaded, tried to raise money and worked harder still. More exhaustion. Because, certainly, we should be able to have tons of money for care, right? But Foxy was getting better on her own accord. She was healing herself. We were assisting with some meds and fluids. Friends came out of the woodwork to help with more natural methods. It wasn’t all my responsibility to heal her. But still, I put the pressure on myself. I was a bad parent for not having everything we needed, and this was echoed in the shaming vet we dealt with.

We watched as money dwindled, and because of the economy, relatives held tighter to their wallets out of fear, and in the process, pulled away emotional support too. They were nowhere to be seen! (After all, she’s an old dog anyway. Ouch. And I mean, big ouch). We felt seriously abandoned and more tired!

My reaction through all of this was to push harder, work harder, and yell at myself for not trying enough! Nice, huh?

But today, after flipping out in Barnes and Noble, and becoming good pals with the toilet (awful visual), I realized that when I blame the world around me for not being supportive and asking for too much, maybe I am doing this to myself. The world will always do this in one way or another. The folks who were withdrawing their money were not emotionally supportive either. And, those who were supportive, would be so even if I didn’t do a thing–didn’t try at all. An amazing concept. This trauma just brought this knowing to light.

Could I recognize that what I do is enough? That it would have to be in this moment? Could I support myself and ask less? Could I recognize how much I already was doing? Pat myself on the back for a bit. Could I change this pattern and not find myself wanting to puke and panic in my place of worship?

We do what we can.

empaths · healing · Intuition · new thinking · spiritual lessons

Psychic vs. scientist

designingfairy1 Comment

scientistI am slowly learning:

  • I question myself when around someone who is more of a “scientist” and is unbelieving. One of Foxy’s vets looks at me like I am crazy when I tell her what Foxy is feeling or what I “get”. She took xrays of Foxy’s back and showed places where she had problems. She said, “She may or may not have any pain.” I said, “Yes, she has pain. I told you that. Several times. In those exact places.” She just ignored me. The woman only looks at the numbers and doesn’t seem to have the intuition or feeling to see what is happening. Being an empathic/intuitive person, I can’t even understand this. I was furious she would question my abilities or expertise of ten years when I don’t hers. It’s out and out disrespectful! And worse, around that energy,  I begin to question myself.
  • Perhaps, she is mirroring my own doubts. My Guides had given me advice about Foxy’s health I questioned because I didn’t see results in front of me. I had to act on blind faith and I haven’t been able to do that. Perhaps I too, am the scientist.
  • Trusting even though situations may look bad or hopeless: I remember when we were selling our house a few years back when the market just started to go downhill. At the time, I was getting advice from our departed dog of all things. Talk about faith. But, I wholeheartedly trusted  Lucy and I felt her spirit, and heard her. Lucy said we’d find that buyer and said when- March. There was a bit of a snag. A realtor came in March bringing an interested client and the client fell through–couldn’t get financing! We were then approached by a shady couple to buy our house cheaply. Was this the buyer? This couple felt so horrible, I had a migraine after talking to them. We decided to go with faith, said no, and decided to wait it out. Glad we did. Only two days later, that nice realtor came by again with our buyer. That buyer who picked out our house from a huge list of houses unseen and said, “That one.” What if I hadn’t trusted? I’d have missed the miracle.
  • We do need that balance: science balanced with intuition. If I treated Foxy for her kidneys with just faith, I don’t know if I’d see results. We still need the medications for support and the fluids. There is a role for each. I know if I had bacterial pneumonia I sure as hell would want some antibiotics and not just hands-on-healing to wipe it out.  I’d need both. Getting information that is happening is needed from the animals and Guides and then the vet/doctor can come in and do support. We can use natural support–plants, etc., but we still need that. I guess, it’s all balance.
  • We are not just test results. You need the full story on all levels what is occuring to a person or animal. Too unbalanced a view doesn’t give the whole picture.
empaths · healing · Intuition · psychic tips

Headaches and Psychics

designingfairy

Yesterday I had the worst headache. I was able to get rid of it by taking a nap and a dose of Tylenol, but I had a doozy of a time figuring it out what caused it until I had some time to do some healing on my head. Here’s reasons why if you are psychic or sensitive, you may have a headache:

  • 1. You’re tired. This was the simplest reason for me. I needed to rest.
  • 2. Hormones shifting. That’s for you ladies out there. And even vibrations are shifting (a whole other topic).
  • 3. My head will ache in my psychic spot if there’s negativity around me in some form.
  • 4. Sometimes your head aches when there’s a spirit around of a lower or different vibration. I’ve been to “haunted” places and boy, it felt like my head would come off in some.
  • 5. Stuck emotions–your own. I was upset yesterday and tried to hold it all in. Boy, can you get a doozy of a headache holding back the stream.
  • 6. Stuck emotions–others. If you are empathic, you can take on others’ stuck emotions–the ones they aren’t expressing–and carry it. Ouch. Important to differentiate if it is yours or not. Ask that whatever isn’t yours leaves, and if you feel better, you have evidence.
  • 7. For you hypochondriacs–brain tumor. Just don’t go there.  If it’s really bad headache, we’re talking huge, then go there.
  • 8. Too much energy in the head–this happens to me often. Best way to take care of this? Ground it out somehow. Go do yoga, hold your feet, walk, take a flower essence, and get out of your head. Doing more head work, or worrying more, makes it worse.
  • 9. And last but not least, what did you eat? I had sugar on low blood sugar. Whoops. Ouch. But it tasted really good.

So there you have it. The good thing about being a blogger and a teacher, is that even having a headache is good source material.

Intuition

Empaths tend to….

designingfairy

As an empathic or sensitive person, I’ve noticed we, as a group, tend to have in common:

  1. Since we feel what everyone is feeling most of the time, when there is so much emotional turmoil around us, we may focus on trying to “make it all better” sometimes, so we feel better and the environment in harmony again! Obviously, this isn’t always reasonable or right. We need to remind ourselves that others are on their own journey and we can’t learn for them. Part of their journey may involve suffering. This can be very difficult to witness.
  2. Our bodies may be very somatic. What that means is our bodies may react to our emotions and our environment, whereas, our less sensitive friends hold it all in and ignore it. The body is a fabulous intuitive tool that we need to utilize. By tuning in to the effected areas, many times we can hear what truly bothers us.
  3. We have issues with overresponsibility. See #1.
  4. We overwhelm if we don’t clear out our environment and other people’s stuff at the end of the day. I see this as catching a bad cold. We can have feelings that aren’t even our own if we don’t do some housecleaning! This is a bit hard if you don’t catch it early. We need our own version of psychic zinc! And if you are tired or upset, BAM, instant other people’s stuff velcro.
  5. We have really big hearts that need a little more extra protection in the world. There’s a reason we do, to maybe help just one other person or animal in this world.
  6. We feel everything strongly. We live at a much deeper level. Some folks will never experience life the way we do. It’s as if we get to watch life with the subtitles!

taken from the updated Care of the Sensitive class;

For help with your sensitivity, see my Psychic tips, or sign up for the Care of the Sensitive class on the Online Classes page. You can also sign up for a reading.  I am also working hard on a new Ebook to help you.

Intuition · spiritual lessons

Streamlining and the common thread

designingfairy2 Comments

Yesterday, I bought a new purse. It’s cute and little, streamlined, and well, my other one broke. I picked up my purse and the strap flipped into my face, loose. Then my sunglasses broke two minutes later. Time to streamline and regroup in life too, I thought. So, now my blog has this new funky pink yummy look. Cool. It’s also organized and straightforward. Then this morning it was off to make changes on my website–add new classes, offer readings specials, and add a new fancy contact form. All streamlining again. Time to really focus in. I like this.

I’ve been too scattered. It has seemed if one thing was slow, I’d add another venue. In panic in slow times, I’d offer more venues to compensate, and be even more inundated. More scattered. Then, worse, I’d tell myself all that I did wasn’t enough! I needed to try harder, do more! It’s hard for creative, sensitive people. We are interested in so much. We get tons of ideas. But what I finally realized, through exploring and streamlining, is I always have this one common thread in whatever I do: sharing what I’ve learned in a creative way to help/teach others. Whether I am making essences, online fairy classes, or offering a workshop or book.

What in your life needs to bear down to its basic form? What is your basic thread? Be honest. What is the common love or purpose in your career that comes up over and over? Have fun exploring. And, by the way, it’s more than enough. 🙂

after death communication · Angel Guide communication · Animal Communication · classes · empaths · Guardian Angels · Intuition · Spirits · spiritual lessons

Radio!

designingfairy5 Comments

I was just interviewed by Mrs. Claus on the Family Yak channel– an inspirational and spiritual (but not religious) podcast online radio show in Australia. It was wonderful. Will find out soon the url to send everyone too.  I was able to talk about everything I teach–animal communication, working with the Fairies, my Fairy School, helping the Sensitives. So exciting! The funny thing was my ear was ringing most of the time. Lots of helpers assisting me with the interview, I’d say. 🙂