being sensitive · empath · empaths · spiritual lessons

Being Loyal to Yourself


fairywithoutorange (2)Loyal to others vs. Loyal to self

One of the toughest things about being an empath is you go out of your way to not hurt anyone else’s feelings. Maybe it’s a selfish thing; if that person hurts, you feel it. But it’s also from a place of compassion. You understand pain. You would never purposely inflict it. I recently was in an argument. It might very well have been my fault and I over-reacted. I had taken an email forward personally that lamented about the dangers of technology because I am going to school specifically for technology. It was one of those ill-timed emails that just happens. But like most incidents in life, the argument illuminated a bigger issue I needed to look at. During the argument, I was quick to create harmony, please, discount what I was feeling, and apologize first. I often took this role/stance as a sensitive child. Several days later after the argument, I still had a lingering unease I’m dealing with. I created peace but I stifled my voice rather than be abandoned. I didn’t want to be the bad guy or the outcast among the crowd.

This is a big shift I am making here, seeing this. Little kids please themselves so easily. But I think little empaths never had that luxury. We’d always be tuned into what others needed and were feeling. We wanted that harmony around us.

I have a problem with a certain kind of authority. I’ll give in just to please, rather than be “naughty.” I’ve decided to treat my one dog’s chronic problem holistically which has proven the more successful route. We are seeing a holistic veterinarian who hears and respects my intuition. Wow, an amazing concept! Because I haven’t returned to my conventional vet, I feel like that little shamed kid who didn’t do her homework. This pattern has become so ingrained in my emotional landscape.

Throughout my life, other people have had no problem putting themselves first. When my husband didn’t want to go to a party or an event, he’d just say no, dig his heels in and that was it. I admired his resolve that I didn’t have. I had too many “what ifs” in my head of who would be disappointed with me.

And there’s the issue. Growing up, we were never yelled at. We were disciplined with the threat of disappointment, which later felt like rejection. I can still feel that sting whenever I displease authority.

It’s time to rewire my thinking. Does any action I do please and serve me? And that’s the best and highest me. That little girl inside is terrified of being left alone. She’s the one that is scared to have a disagreeing voice. I have this vision of me being left alone in a cave to fend for myself. But in my desire to please everyone else, I’ve managed to abandon me. I’m the one who put me in that cave.

I’m the one  who put me in that cave. 

And that little girl’s perspective that if someone is angry with me they will abandon me? Some will, then that’s not really a relationship of substance or depth, if you aren’t able to communicate feelings with each other. And aren’t those relationships reflecting back the miscommunication I am having with myself?

Hey self! What serves you? What pleases you? What do you need right now? 

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from YOUR TURTLE SHELL (Coming early 2013)

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Check out the How to Survive the Holidays eBook under the BOOKS and WHAT’S NEW section

being sensitive · empowering women · spiritual lessons

Traditional Values I Don’t Want to Go Back to

I don’t usually venture into politics, or anything near that loaded area, but I had to speak up on this topic…

There’s lots of talk about traditional values surrounding the past election. I have a different view about traditional values. If those values are about caring about each other, being honest, respectful, loving, and hearing others, I am all for them! And we do need to maintain those.  But there are “traditional values” that I do not want to go back to. And these are my thoughts and values, that may or may not reflect what you believe.

  1. If traditional values are going back to wearing aprons and high heels in the kitchen and my role as a woman is to stay in the kitchen, I do not believe in them or whoever created them. Who is that pleasing? Especially the high heels that really hurt and I’m still probably a lousy cook, so I’m not pleasing anyone. I’d rather nurture in a different way, thank you very much and now I can. As a woman, I have many skills and intelligence to share. I can nurture through what I teach, what I create, and how I love. And if my sole and only purpose was to have children, well, whoops, I failed at that one, so there are many ways to birth life into this world.
  2. If traditional values mean a world where women are secondary to men, of course, I disagree. How is that helpful to anyone?! I have no desire to go back to having no voice and being second to the man in a household. Healthy relationships and marriages are equal partners who respect and hear each other. One is no greater or wiser than the other.
  3. If traditional values mean my body doesn’t matter in any way, or I’m considered a slut if I use birth control, I want no part of them. How backwards in thinking is that? Oh, but if a man has sex with different partners he’s virile. Uh huh. Why would I want to be thrown back into a cage from the 1950s if I long been out of a cage. A cage that men, not women, built.
  4. If traditional values mean a world where if you are a man and you love a man, or a woman who loves a woman, you are considered an outcast and something deeply wrong with you, I don’t live in a world like that. God made everyone and loves everyone just as they are. That’s God–the ultimate model of love, who I want to aspire to be like one day.
  5. If traditional values mean stifling my voice and not being able to have a say when it comes to authority, I want no part of that. I am seeing real change happen when the average person speaks up and says No, especially in regards to laws about animals and other areas I care deeply about.

Perhaps, I am not understanding the perspective or thinking from those who champion these kind of traditional values. As a woman in my 40s, I have a very different perspective and experience than a middle-aged or older male. I haven’t lived that life. But I can’t understand how any values would be helpful or healthy that exclude or ignore the needs of a huge portion of the population.

being sensitive · healing fairy alphabet · whimsical illustration

Two New Groovy Things to Buy

one groovy thing: How to Survive the Holidays if You Are Sensitive

Right in time for the holidays and the craziest times happening. Fun and illustrated fifteen tips and tools in this eBook  for surviving the holidays. An alternative to hiding under the bed until January. You can order this groovy eBook ($5 download you’ll receive in 48 hours of ordering) by scrolling to the bottom of the page and clicking the Buy Now button here.

another groovy thing: Pre-order the Healing Fairy Alphabet calendar!

12 lessons for a year of fairy happiness and wisdom and really pretty whimsical pictures! How cool is that? Pre-order this baby. To order, you will need to head on over to my Portfolio site here and click the Buy Now button. You want one…I can tell.

being sensitive · empath · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Extrovert vs. Introvert

Which are you?

My folks are up visiting from New Jersey. My stepmother is a complete extrovert, and my Dad is a classic introvert. According to the Myers Briggs classification tests, an introvert is not the quiet and shy wallflower that you overlooked sitting in the back of the room, which is a popular misconception. How we navigate and process the world is classified by extrovert or introvert. Extroverts are recharged by being around more people or excitement and interaction. Introverts are recharged by quiet, alone time. They need time to digest what they’ve experienced and reconnect to themselves.

Classic example was after a long day visiting the local zoo, Out of Africa, my stepmother was ready to keep going. My Dad and I were cranky and ready to fall over. A little more stimulation and I would have overloaded for sure and my circuits would have fried. It’s not being “too sensitive” that does that, but the fact that I take in all kinds of information at once. A little goes a long way. I dive deep into the experience. Any more stimulation or input would be like adding more coffee to the filled coffee cup, spilling brown liquid everywhere over the table; there’s nowhere to go.

It’s not a right or wrong situation, although for years I’ve had to try to explain myself to extroverts who had no idea what was wrong with me when I pooped out early on long, interactive days, or needed alone space after experiencing a party of people. I definitely internalized that I was flawed or “wrong” until I discovered the classifications and felt deeply liberated! The world needs both. The big key here isn’t that we are like each other and change, but we respect each others’ needs.

And incidently, I understand the needs of both types. The last time I took the Myers Briggs test, I had an interesting revelation. My scores were smack down in the middle between Introvert and Extrovert! This would explain my continuous struggle for balance even within myself. I could see my need for people and interaction, but too much of that, and I usually got sick, anxious or headache-y, and desperately needed space. Not enough people interaction, I get lonely and moody. Add all that extra sensitivity, and I am thinking I lean more towards the Introvert side in terms of needs. Perhaps, you can relate.

Resources to check out:

The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

My Care of the Sensitive class, of course

Myers Briggs test

after death communication · Animal Communication · being sensitive · empath · ghosts · Guardian Angels · psychic ability · Spirit Guides · spiritual guidance

Why can’t I hear my dog or loved one, but you can?

Often, this is the question I get the most with students and other people. I even found an old email I gratefully missed seeing berating me for claiming that I could talk to my departed mother. How do I answer that?

For one thing, yes, I can talk to animals and feel spirits. The spirits more like drop in and out on occasion. I can’t conjure up. It’s more like having someone call you up on the telephone. I’m not delusional, I’ve been relatively grounded, and I’m psychologically sound even though life has really roughed me up a bit, and I’ve concluded that it was that “roughing up” that allowed me to hear or see.

Here’s one of my theories

Many of the friends I have that are truly “psychic,” which is really aware of other dimensions, or simply, what’s beyond THIS, have had in their life some kind of experience that caused them to pop out of their bodies from some kind of trauma. During that popping out they noticed “hey, there’s something else here.” No, they didn’t go into the devil’s world, which at least, I hope not. When I was a kid, I had such chronic pain that it was an easy thing to just pop out and hang out on the ceiling then feel that pain all the time (by the way, animals do this.) I was already very empathic, just like mother, and I think that’s how–the popping out–was why I also able to readily hear guidance.

Some folks need their worlds to fall apart to experience that there’s more then what’s here. GRIEF can open you up completely or…shut you down. That’s one big reason you can’t hear your loved one or your departed dog. There isn’t a thing you did wrong or something wrong with you. What I know from experience is when I am very upset and angry at the world, I can’t access any guidance. I feel cut off and stranded. I think with grief, you’re in a protective mode. You need to be insulated so you can heal. And then later on, you can hear or feel and connect to loved ones.

Some folks have had trauma and hurt early on and have always been shut down. It’s safer that way when the world is an unsafe place. But if you asked them, they will recall little signs that happened in their lives that showed them they were watched over, if they are willing to see it.

Lots of people could hear and see when they were children. But as they grew up and life got hard, they forgotten this.

Some folks are very left-brained and they experience the world solely from the mind, and therefore, won’t hear or see. (They need to rent movies like DRAGONFLY.) That’s not their path to hear.

Don’t Push

When I hear students say this, I always question if they are pushing or trying to hear/feel. That always shuts things down. Then your mind comes in and takes over. They are almost always missing the SUBTLE signs of communication and dismissing it as nothing, but it’s there. They are feeling hugged (those goosebumps out of nowhere), having songs come into their heads out of nowhere, seeing a shadow run across the room or a blink of light. That’s the communication! It doesn’t have to be a full-blown ghost giving a six page message. That’s just television! And always with their animals, they just need validation that they are already picking up a ton of information from their animals. How can they not? They are so connected to them.

I’ve always thought like a scientist. I need proof to believe and I need to experience it. Most folks are like that. So, if they don’t experience it or see it, why would they believe it? And the interesting thing is, when you have lots of experiences and you start to believe, the experiences increase.

No, I’m not special at all because I pick up things from spirits or know what dogs feel and think. I actually curse it sometimes when I have headaches from it and overload all the time, and pick up psychically what I really don’t want to or is helpful to me. I really don’t appreciate when people think I’m nuts. I don’t hear all the time, either, by the way. Sometimes, I stare at my dogs wondering what they want and can’t hear anything at all. Being sensitive can be a really big hindrance in my life, especially in my relationships, but it’s also a gift that can help others (I get to write about it.) And there are many out there who totally relate to this, who often come here.

Just Keep the Gate Open

The big thing is, if you are missing or grieving someone and you can’t feel or hear them, it doesn’t mean they have abandoned you or there’s no after-life, or worse, everyone who can is crazy. Right now, in this moment, you can’t. It’s not forever, and maybe there’s a reason, like I mentioned before. Instead, just leave that door open to possibility. That’s all you need for the world to surprise you. And boy, will it.

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If you are interested in developing your abilities to hear/see/feel, sign up for Fairy Online School to get help and info, which starts September 21st.

being sensitive

January New stuff updates

2011’s Fairy School is under way. Most of the classes start end of the month, so sign up now. I love the Talking to Angels, Guides and Dead People class. It’s jammed pack with great tips and how-tos. I am busy putting it together right now. If you are into fairies, the Fairy Secrets Fairy Healing class, is the one to sign up for. The Animal Mediumship class is the one to sign up for to talk to Animals that have crossed over.  (I thoroughly recommend the Fairy Joy class right now for the dark winter.) And empaths, The Care of the Sensitive is the class to sign up for to receive great tips and help from Nature to balance yourself.

What’s new:

Working diligently on the new ebook found in the Bookstore, Tips for the Sensitive. It’s the best of my blog and many more great tips and advice to keep your sensitivity balanced and use it as the gift it is. You can pre-order it at the special price now. It will be ready the end of the month.

Mentorships!

Go check out the new Mentorship/Certificate programs at my ONLINE CLASS page. I don’t have to be told twice…I’m being guided to offer these, as I was told, there are students who would like to be trained to be animal communicators, readers, and essence practitioners. I am more than willing and excited to offer these. Go check them out.

Busy, busy. The Fairy Healing Alphabet deck now has its own flower affirmation cards. So much fun making this one.

Are you a local? Looks like I will be teaching at the Verde campus at Yavapai Community College this Spring. Details coming. I hope to also put together some Fairy Healing class workshops at the Old Town Center for the Arts.

As always, I offer readings for Animals (animal communication readings) and People (Angel/guide/medium and empath readings). I LOVE referrals and repeat customers, so keep them coming!

My old website, ronniannhall.com is about to expire. Still not sure if I will keep it around or not, or what I will do with it. Any suggestions?

Fairy blessings for now,

Ronni

being sensitive

Narcissist article & energy vampires

My Guides are teaching me the importance of spotting energy vampires. As an empath, these folks are our worst enemies. And to the energy vampires, we are like Thanksgiving feasts, so eager to step in and assist.

Read a good article by fellow sensitive, Judith Orloff, today. Narcissists are one form of energy vampires.  I know how hard working with and loving one is, especially with no prior knowledge. She outlines some good suggestions on how to deal with folks with this issue.

And, big thank you to one reader who referred the following article inadvertantly:

http://www.suite101.com/content/what-are-pathological-liars-a132547