I thought she was a weed. I called her my little tree and didn’t pull her. She kept growing. And then a little flower peeked out.
She’s Ronni-size now. In the middle of the rock lawn, where I didn’t plant a thing, she emerged.
She moves towards the sun, and she is teaching me to be on the lookout for unexpected magic.
This is a story about how our animals are powerful mirrors for us and take on our stuff, but it is also a story about trust.
I often write about my dog girls and my other animal companions, Speedy the tortoise and Bun-Bun and Prosperity, the parakeets. I love my animal family but I do think that sometimes they are trying to prematurely gray me. I am sure that is not their intent, but rather they are desperately trying to teach me.
Sarah, my elderly beagle mix, has arthritis and some other aging concerns, but is doing amazingly well for a dog her age. Part of that is because she tends to push herself, just like her human mother, and ignores any physical limitations, insisting she is way younger than she is. She jumps up and down off the bed, which incidentally, her current veterinarian looked in amazement at me when I told her this. And sometimes, just like people, she moves or jumps wrong and the whole dog system goes out of whack. This is what happened the other morning.
When I saw her hunched over and limping, I did what most dog parents do, I panicked. Panicking is usually my first option for dogs in distress situations. I tried to tune in and hear her with animal communication and heard “twist, twist” and felt something is out of whack somewhere. I also clearly heard “arnica” for homeopathy but I didn’t have that in the house. Emma was witnessing all this and I heard her say that Sarah would be fine, reassuring me.
I didn’t trust any of this at the time because, after all, I was panicking. I grabbed for the computer. It would have the answers! In my search through doggy symptoms, I managed to increase my panic to a new level, and had clearly decided Sarah had the first signs of cancer, especially since I remembered and was now reliving when our beloved beagle-basset had passed from bone disease in 1998. Clearly, fear was pushing major buttons of loss, illness, and prior trauma. At this point, possibly to counteract my hysteria, Sarah was calm and relaxed and not limping, but sore. I could relax more, but my mind wasn’t cooperating. At dinner, in her excitement for food, she paced more, probably aggravating the injury or whatever was going on in her body when she began to limp again and this time began circling frantically. She does have a balance issue she lives with, so my fears said that her inner ear issue had gotten much, much worse. It wasn’t the back at all!
Thank goodness at this point, guidance swooped in suggesting to check in with my Facebook friends. I love my Facebook friends and my pals in one online group I belong to, so I posted about Sarah’s condition on the group’s page and on my timeline. A big thanks and a hug to my one student/colleague who came along and gave her immediate impressions. Miraculously, she heard the word “twist” and things pulled out of whack, too. She also kept hearing Arnica would be very good for the situation and she also felt the same areas I felt that hurt on Sarah, the back and right side. Confirmation later came again with a fellow animal communicator friend the next day. We were both clearly hearing Sarah, even down to the same words she or guidance was providing.
What was really interesting about Sarah’s back attack was that two days before I had sat too long at the computer in a disjointed way, so when I moved to get up, I pulled my right hip and lower back out. That really hurt and I was desperately trying to stretch out the imbalance by doing yoga moves on the floor and trying to walk it off. Luckily, I felt much better pretty quickly.
A day or two passed after Sarah’s back injury, and she was back to her normal jumping up and down off the bed, back straightened out. The situation brought out fears and past pains I probably needed to clear out. This time around, unlike in the past, support was immediately there and I am very grateful for that change. Following logic was my best defense and seeking out good support was my other. But most importantly, what really hit home as the big lesson was to trust what I get or hear, not listen to fear. Ironically, as a teacher, I am always reminding my students of this. “Trust your gut, your guidance and your animal,” I tell them. Fear will fog up what you know. I guess the teacher needed the lesson this time.
A little tip for the Sensitive today…I’ve spent most my morning organizing my messy files on the computer. I’ve got old lessons mixed in with new in their file folders, files not in the right folders and in strange places, and basically, a big visual mess. When I am super busy this is usually what happens. Last week was such a week for me and I can tell from just looking at my computer and at my living room. How did my hairbrush end up on my kitchen table?
With all this disorganization, it makes sense that I would feel totally unfocused and even ungrounded. So, I spent the morning rearranging my schedule to reestablish some needed order. I’ve been cursing a little looking at the sheer mess of it all and both my dog girls have exited the room about an hour ago. I am sure, though, once I am done, I will feel a lot more focused and calm. Are you in a similar situation? Need to get things more organized?
Back to work…
I was playing around with the concept of manifesting and asking for more. I decided to ask for a specific monetary amount to arrive in the next few days. When I realized I was asking too little, I blurted “$1000! I want a $1000 in the next few days.”
I received this in the mail.
Look closer…
Even more than I asked for!
Did I mention you need to be specific when you ask for things? Like, I could actually cash this check. The check was from a used car dealership supposedly I could use towards a down payment on a new car.
🙂
I grew up with the “compare and contrast” syndrome. It’s the equivalent of putting out a measuring tape and saying, “Hmmm, I”m a little short here. Might need to be longer here. How I am isn’t right.”
What I’ve learned…
In the work world, I cringe when I come up against this syndrome in its many guises. If I am having an off day, I will fall prey to it and wallow in insecurity, or I will want to jump in the game and compete. Until now.
I finally saw and recognized the syndrome and realized, Hey, this is stupid! Kinda like, the Emperor has no clothes! Can’t you see that?
The advertising world gets off on this syndrome. If I think this celebrity is fabulous, I will want to have her haircut, wear her fancy designer clothes. Or, I will feel inadequate in some way because I don’t look just like her and then I will want to buy her haircare products, join a gym and spend lots of money trying to improve and make me “better.”
When I’ve been exposed to this syndrome, it is the quickest route to depression for me and to be knocked off balance for days. Sure, there’s lots of intuitives out there, sensitive teachers, animal communicators, fairy people, whimsical artists, etc. and I could fall lost in the sea of sameness. I met one lady recently who does all that I do, supposedly— teach the same kind of classes, even creating cards…omg, I am not special anymore! I have to prove I’m different, more special, more something?! But that is such a false impression. Do dentists say, “Wow. What I do isn’t special and I shouldn’t do it anymore. There’s lots of people in town pulling teeth and fixing molars.” Healers, do you hear this?
There’s a new voice in my head now that says, “WTF? Do you hear yourself with this nonsense?” Yes, my head even curses a lot too.
You see, we are like little snowflakes. All different, and our own little patterns of light and shiny that’s a mix match of special in itself. (Does that mean we are all mutts? Yes, in a way.) I could teach the same animal communication class but I guarantee I have my own particular spin on it with of course, stories and humor, because that is how I roll. (There will also have to be some cute little drawings in there, naturally.) Another person may be really good at teaching the same class but in a very organized, left-brain way with lots of exercises. Who comes to my class, hopefully, matches my energy and my particular snowflake energy offering. They need exactly that combination I offer. I forget that in the “compare and contrast” moment.
Many times the perfect students for me will write that learning with fun is exactly what worked for them taking my classes. That will feel so good to hear–like two puzzle pieces coming together in that CLICK.
Where does this awful syndrome start? I think it was created from a general feeling of unacceptance of self and our limitations. Either we came in with that to learn acceptance, and we arranged this life before we came in and were high on crack in heaven so we landed into a family that looked at us like we had three horns on our heads and gave us the message continually, “why can’t you just have one horn like us?” Or, maybe, we had a great family but we ventured into the world and the world wanted us to be a whole different animal, so we tried to change. Whatever its origins, the key is to see it now, because we can change that shaming line of thinking. You were born the way you are because maybe the world needs someone with 3 horns!
I feel that empathic undercurrent many times in social networking. It’s like one huge family trying to compete for mom and dad’s attention. Hey, look at me! I can make you $1000 in 3 days! No, I can solve all your problems in one day! MY program is super super special. Look at my amazing spiritual quote of wisdom. Aren’t I smart? I’m like a god.
The antidote to all of this nonsense is simple in solution but may be a challenge to do. Be as authentic as you can possibly be and stay true to that. Just be you. Spend most of your energy finding that authentic you that’s been buried under tons of layers of other messed-up beliefs. And the best marketing technique is to create a good product that is true to your story, or do the best work you can. Know what you are really good at and what you love to do. Know your strengths and take advantage of them. Then let people know you exist who need what you offer. What you offer is more than enough. There. You now all owe me thousands of dollars for the Ronni Marketing Program. I do accept Paypal. 🙂
ps. if you continually find yourself offering your stuff in environments that you feel you need to jump up and down and prove your worth, it’s just the wrong puzzle piece for you. Don’t keep re-creating your childhood environment. Take your energy elsewhere. See Puzzle Piece post.
I had a light bulb moment this morning.
One of the reasons why I left my church, was for me, there wasn’t enough meat. I had graduated, and needed more answers to my many spiritual questions. I was frustrated and aggravated for months and months by the simple “everything is love” and “just love everyone and see their higher self” philosophies. Yes, these statements are true but it didn’t answer anything for me. It throws a lot of things under the rug. If you are an abusive jerk who is running over my boundaries and I just “see your higher self and love you” that usually translates into more boundary invasion and more abuse, because even if I am putting up boundaries, and being nice and loving, someone like that is going to like the challenge of seeing how he can bash right through those boundaries. This more simple line of thinking is a surface spirituality that ignores the many layers, including what’s thrown under the rug.
This experience had me thinking about psychic protection and what I’ve been teaching. Putting a white bubble around me for protection is nice and sweet, but as an empath, I can still become amazingly sponge-y and open anyway and take in a ton that isn’t mine. That bubble won’t do crap for me if: I don’t know I’m taking something on and am feeling awful; don’t realize I’m taking something on because someone else’s stuff is triggering mine; or a whole bunch of other reasons.
Basically, I determined that we need to tackle the psychological and intellectual stuff underneath our reactions to be fully protected. That’s why my book has so many instances we need different tools for, because it is isn’t a simple thing of putting up a white bubble. A white bubble forms an intention to create a strong boundary around you. You’re putting a STRONG line in the sand that says, “I don’t want this dark stuff near me.” That’s why it works. Your will is loud and clear. As empaths, our major work is creating those very strong boundaries to protect ourselves. The problem is we came in with very thin or little boundaries so we can read the energies around us. It’s a gift really, to be able to do that when we can control it, and there’s BALANCE, which is then a tightrope to walk. I still have days I even curse my sensitivity and get tired of always having to do this much work to keep that balance, but I think it’s a harder world to walk when you are so unaware of any energies at all.
We also need to clear out the beliefs in the way taught to us that prevent us from creating strong boundaries, which for me would include that I have to be nice and loving to everyone around me, which would make the church’s stance counterproductive to what is best for me.
Perhaps, then, the white bubble is a beginner’s technique and folks learn where they are at. And as we go further along this path, deeper and deeper, we are going to need more advanced learning and tools. There’s no judgement, just different levels to drop down into, but just like in school, if I am ready for sixth grade, I’m not going to stay back in third grade for those around me.
And for now, when I empathically carrying something that isn’t mine, I need to go in and ask why. Was it as simple as I was super-open and tired and then I walked into Walmart to buy milk and just got slimed with negative stuff stuck in the air? Or, did I pick up on sadness and I wasn’t acknowledging the sadness I was already feeling before I stepped into the store so it triggered mine? Or even yet, was I still corded and deeply connected to a sad friend who I just talked to on the phone and a part of my energy wanted to reach out and help her? If I see all the energy around me as information, it is all a story to help me better understand myself. It’s not a mean world that I need protection from because it’s trying to hurt me. In a way, it’s strengthening me and my will, and helping me grow.
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This essay is from my ASC300: Empath Skills class.
This week I explore my non-negotiables.
What’s a non-negotiable? I’ve been learning from my backyard. When I rented my Fairy Castle, it was the yard that I fell in love with. I dig roses and there’s quite a few, including the kind that smell really good. This backyard is like a little park I can sit in with my Emma Lou and swing back and forth as we admire the beauty.
When I water the plants, I watch their little leaves reach upwards in a smile. When I forget, in the inhospitable Arizona heat, I will find leaden leaves and a definite frown. It’s simple, but I am those plants. When I nurture and feed me, I pump up with color. I’m a shiny, happy thing. When I forget to water me, well…
But here’s the thing. I’ve taken in through my adult life some seriously faulty beliefs–that messed-up perception I talked about in my last post. It’s taken awhile and lots of work, but I am seeing those beliefs that include:
only when I make enough money will I deserve to have some rest
only when I give what others want will I have support
only when I work 80 hours a week and show I’m responsible will I get a pat on the head and what I need
Yuck!!! I am seeing that none of these beliefs work for me. I am sure you have some ONLYs in your brain swirling around. These need to be pulled! And in their place, I plant my non-negotiables.
In order to thrive as a Ronni plant, I need those non-negotiables. Having this yard and visiting Indian Gardens frequently I realize with certainty I MUST have constant interaction with Nature. It’s not lazy or irresponsible to take time out in Nature. On the contrary, I find it’s productive: I’m balanced and less emotional or reactive to other people’s stuff when I have time in the yard or the forest. It also feeds my creativity and my curiosity, which becomes many classes and books.
And in my usual, creative, visual fashion, I’ve been creating a chart to keep track of my non-negotiables (each drawn into a circle) as they come along. (To see it, Go Subscribe to My Newsletter.)
If I follow this line of thought, I also look at what waters me and what doesn’t. Translated, this means, what supports me and what doesn’t? Where do I feel SEEN, HEARD, SUPPORTED and APPRECIATED? Where do I feel ignored and forgotten, unimportant, or even poisoned? Let’s not focus on those weeds, just pull em’ out!
What are your non-negotiables and where do you feel watered?
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Hey, if you like learning from Nature, do sign up for my newsletter, or consider signing up for the upcoming Fairy Online School session that starts Junes 1st.
I am convinced that all of life is like one giant reading. In a reading, we interpret information that comes through that is usually symbolic in nature. Even the animals will communicate in metaphors or pictures when they describe physical ailments. Once you learn this new language, you realize your whole world around you is giving you metaphors and SPIRIT CLUES. That’s pretty wild.
I was dealing with an issue with a loved one I needed clarity on, and kept getting PHYSICAL CLUES or images plopped into my environment. I went to put the garbage out and there was a catcher mitt directly in front of my house in the middle of the road. My attention drew me twice to the movie 17 Again when I was shopping in two separate stores. I was being reminded that this loved one’s issues were all deprived from his younger trauma.
My girls will metaphorically clear things out for me through their odd illnesses. When Sarah had a yucky, anal gland infection, that seemed to come out of nowhere, all this tar-like OLD STUFF was clearing out of her. At the time, I was doing the same.
My illnesses will always seem bizarre and out of place when they happen, but are almost always metaphors for what I am clearing out or need to clear out at the time. When I had a broken blood vessel break in my eye recently, I was surprised by its suddenness. Its appearance made no sense. The eye doctor said that it just happens. Yeah, right! Not with this body. I was clearing out what was my father’s vision or perception that I was carrying around for years. Before that, I was doing a great deal of work on myself in that area and the last big thing to happen was that eye, weird thing. It’s like the body gave one big push out of the leftover stuff. (Interesting…almost like a reverse birth).
Of course, interpretation is for the reader. What a baseball mitt means to a friend may be very different for you. And when it’s just one clue it may just be an ordinary baseball mitt. It’s best to look at the total picture of all the clues together to have insight on the pattern or issue you are dealing with right now. Your spiritual clues are usually an answer to a question you made before the clues showed up.
Did you see that shiny thing?
I get distracted easily. As a sensitive person, I tend to get swept away with the tide around me and lose focus. As a creative person, I can get have way too many ideas and want to do them TODAY.
I wrote about this in my book, but I had this lesson reinforced the other day.
In Yogalates class, we bend our bodies into many balancing poses. There’s one pose that contorts my body into a tree, which I really like. I had one leg bent at the knee and my arms outstretched into my swaying leaves. I found myself checking on the other students to see how they were doing and sure enough, that was my downfall. I fell over. Poor tree. I got myself back into the pose and focused on the floor in front of me and centered on my own tree. I felt my branches reaching to the sky, my legs, um, trunk, strong. I could have stood there for hours! I felt like no wind or storm could knock me down!
After being a tree, my thoughts churned over how I often start my day with lots of goals and get lost. I get pulled by all the threads around me. The internet is the worst. I love my Facebook buddies, but I can get caught up into the loop for hours. Everything is so fast and there’s so much coming at me that is interesting. There goes my goals.
Knowing I have this tendency, I have to fight the pull to very shiny things. They distract me from my own gold. The answer is to re-center, however I can do this. Unfortunately, that means a little less time on Facebook and more time sitting in Nature so I can hear myself. It’s funny how Nature is filled with beauty and shininess but I am pushed more into myself then scattered. It must be the radio dial to CALM vs. Facebook’s dial to EXCITE.
Another tool I am finding that is helping me center and focus is setting goals. I’m reading a great book on receiving that I will probably share later. I like the goal setting idea because know that when I do center, I can be very focused and can easily accomplish what I want. Having goals, keeps the focus on what I want, rather than get pulled by everyone else’s wants.
If Nature isn’t doing the trick, I can always reach for flower essences to help give me that edge and extra support. I like SOAP TREE YUCCA for focusing, and Desert Willow helps me stand tall. SQUASH helps me be strong in sticking to what I need.
The biggest tool is knowing that I can get easily thrown off and to try and limit what I take in. Too much coming in will look like overwhelm in my system, and I will appear “flighty” and scattered when I am really just caught up in the tornado around me.
Be strong trees, Sensitives!
It’s not that I’m too sensitive, I just have an excellent radar of what gives me energy and what takes it away. The problem is I need to listen to that radar as the built-in gift that it is!
My Radar showed me this week the 10 things that send me backwards into a radio dial of YUCK vs. YAY while on the Internet.
Okay, now that you are annoyed and bothered with me, let’s go for the opposite.
Ronni's Psychic Room 