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Animal Communication – Getting it “right”

13 Feb

A repost but this info still holds true, I thought I’d share.

When I teach budding animal communicators their biggest complaint is the same. But what if I am wrong? It feels like and is an enormous responsibility to provide answers to a grieving or troubled pet parent. Why is my animal sick? Why did he die? Why is he fighting with his sister? And we tune in and look for answers. The right answers the client needs.

Once in while I would have a client who would “test” me, but they were very rare. They wanted to see if I was truly “psychic.” But telepathic communication isn’t about being psychic. You are simply connecting one on one. You can’t give answers you aren’t hearing.

What can you do to relieve the pressure besides exploding after a reading or having a stiff drink? Here’s what I have learned that has helped me through the years.

  1. Let the animal provide the PROOF and the answers.

Sounds strange when I say let the animal have all the pressure, but it isn’t like that. Ask the animals open-ended questions. Instead of “What is your favorite food?,” show a bowl in your head and let the animal fill up the bowl. Ask the animal how they are feeling and what they think is wrong, vs. “What disease do you have?” Nothing shuts down the intuitive connection then very, very specific questions which narrows the answers you could receive. It’s the difference between letting it flow and forcing. Forcing never works. Ever try to shoot a ball into a basket? Notice the difference between relaxed focus and trying really, really hard.

2. Get in that relaxed space first.

Most students think they have to meditate for years to be a good communicator with animals. This always makes me laugh. I have one very active mind that doesn’t shut off. I am tuned in a great deal of the time, but I don’t meditate. The space between awake and falling asleep is THE perfect time to try to connect because you are just letting things flow in and out, and I almost always trust the answers that come then because my mind isn’t in the way.

3. You are going be wrong sometimes.

You might be tired, or you might be triggered by what issues the animal is having, or you might be forcing and your own stuff or thoughts will get it in the way. It’s not a perfect science, which is frustrating but true. And we are not perfect filters. If the animals could just talk out loud you would know for sure what they are communicating, but even then, like in conversations with people, things can be misconstrued. Thank goodness we don’t text with our animals.

4. Remind yourself you are not a veterinarian, unless of course you are one. 

This is a biggie! I pride myself that I was very good at receiving information on an animal’s health, but I was never good at veterinary science. There’s so much I don’t know, like a backache could be from kidney issues. All an animal can describe is their symptoms and you might be able to see into the body, but you need to have a working knowledge of what you are seeing, and that’s not your job. I could describe that an animal has what feels like a ball in its ear, but I might not know that’s a cyst. Don’t try to be an expert, let the client know they need a doctor.

5. I want to see you screw up and get back up again.

I like when students just relax during practice and have fun. They can screw up and get the answer all wrong and still try again. As a teacher, I am more impressed by that. Practice is for having fun and test-driving animal communication. Less pressure = more surprises and more information coming through. The most clearest communication sometimes consists of an unusual answer your mind couldn’t have possibly come up with.

The most clearest communication sometimes consists of an unusual answer your mind couldn’t have possibly come up with.

6. Sometimes a bed is just a bed.

Many times you get info and you jump to the conclusion that you are all wrong, when it was the interpretation of what you received that didn’t match, and that’s when it is best to simply describe what you are feeling, seeing and the thoughts you are getting. I would provide what I was seeing and the person could make those connections. If I was seeing a blue, natty looking blanket, I described that. That’s where I can be very specific. The dog’s person knows that blanket well and understands.That’s her dog’s favorite blanket! If I added my interpretation that I think that blanket means the animal wants a nap, I will risk being all wrong, and well, the dog will be super frustrated with me.

Take the pressure off and focus on being a better listener instead. Two different focuses, but one has less headaches and better communication.

For a reading, head on over to here.

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Working on Book 2

29 Jun

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Working on book 2 in the Help! I’m Sensitive series, Your Turtle Shell. This one is all about setting boundaries and includes Thoughts of a Sensitive. What topics and concerns as a sensitive would you like to see? Feel free to fill in the comment section below or email me if you prefer. I’d love to hear from you.

 

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The Right Help and Avoiding Confusion for the Sensitive

17 Jun

justfairyonpaper2

I am seriously confused.

It’s partly from the allergens that are flying around in my house. My cooler–it’s an Arizona thing that wets the dry air while cooling the environment–hasn’t been cleaned in at least five years I’ve been here so it’s making my head really foggy every time it spits out air with gunk. So I called up my landlords and they immediately responded because they are fabulous. At first, they thought they would have to brainstorm how to clean out this moldy cooler, so I thought I would have to wait awhile, sneezing. But then I got a call from them that an expert would be coming to clean out the ducts and make my life easier to breathe. This expert specializes in cleaning out coolers of allergens. It was the perfect solution and the landlords knew where to go for help.

That experience lit a lightbulb up in my head. I have always given myself a hard time for not succeeding at times in business matters and that’s because I would go for help in the wrong places. I wouldn’t have the right answers. I would flounder about and get lost in shame. After all, I am a Capricorn and we are supposed to be good at everything. (ha ha) But what if it’s not the right help?

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A couple of times lately I have seen in action just the right piece show up for friends that they needed, but I have also seen in my life the opposite, where the wrong help creates more confusion.

I remember graduating from the Grad School program and having pretty much having vague help finding a job. I was told my skills and resume were fabulous and would have no problem finding something, but where/how wasn’t clear, except to look at a list of job search places to tackle. When what you do is so out of the box it is difficult to have a clear map. I always joke about wishing I was an accountant because the path is so clearcut. I’d go to school for a clear program, find jobs in accountant offices, and DONE. Vague help is the worst because it doesn’t provide you with specific steps. It’s almost like giving you directions to a house by saying, “Yeah, it’s somewhere over there.” Where? To the right of there or the left of there?

I have seen in others what happens when they have the wrong help. Trying to create something they bring in the wrong person who can’t really solve their particular problem and they make a bigger mess.

So what is the right help? First, I need to get very clear what is needed. That isn’t always easy. Often you are so overloaded that there are too many pieces floating around your head. It’s hard to pinpoint what the problem is or what you are needing. You know you need help with being healthy, but does that look like going on a diet? Starting a workout program? Going to do a doctor? What is the specific issue? I think I run into having too broad a problem. You can relate? And then overwhelm happens because there’s too much to tackle at once, and as a sensitive, I am already overloaded with stimuli and information ALL THE TIME.

So I write down very specifically what the issue is. The cooler was easy. It’s concrete. I know when the cooler turns on I sneeze, so that thing must be dirty. I then need to find someone who can clean out a dirty cooler. But what about more complicated questions like, how do I bring in more money? Or how do I bring in more peace to the household? Etc. etc. Those questions are trickier.

I am learning…

Sometimes having the right help is about lightening the load. You can’t do it all. (My Capricorn inner self just cringed.) You can’t be everything to everybody, you need to bring in assistance. Find what solves that particular problem– be very specific, research, ask around, and zero in on that one thing at one time to avoid overwhelm.

Until next time,

designingfairysig

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Five Ways to Make Better Boundaries So You Don’t Get Pissy

13 Mar

outsidein2

Yesterday I weeded. My entire yard is a giant weed from all the rain and early Spring. My allergies aren’t that bad so I sat down and began pulling, even though it seemed a daunting task when I began. Surveying around me I realized I might have made a small dent. I was fine for hours until mid afternoon and I felt like I was in the middle of a bad two-week cold with congestion and a voice that sounded like frog. Silly me, I forgot to create a boundary beforehand, meaning, take some allergy meds before I went outside to weed.

As per usual, the simple situations in life often mirror what I am learning, although learning how to set boundaries, as a sensitive empath, is probably my main lesson in this lifetime. But I have been forced to look at the many ways I don’t put in a preventative boundary in place or are reluctant to do so.

5 Ways I Need to Set Better Boundaries

Drum roll please…

1. I have to admit that I have pure panic when I am about to say NO and disappoint someone, or say I can’t do something. It’s usually happens when I need to take care of myself first and my body or needs are screaming. I am definitely a pleaser, and when I really care about someone, I want to please them BAD. And in prior relationships, if I said NO and spoke how I felt, I was punished in some way, so there’s a part of me waiting for the sentence or aftermath. I don’t please you, you won’t like me anymore. I will suffer by being ignored, rejected, or worse. (I actually have one friend I am terrified to speak up to and disagree with for fear of the aftermath.) Since as a sensitive I am FINALLY learning that I have limited energy reserves since I overload easily, and I am recognizing my limits and when I simply need that time-out. It’s my responsibility to let others know this, and hopefully, they will respect my needs and not take it personally because it isn’t about them.

2. I need to learn how to put boundaries up on others’ demands. I’ve never been good with this one. This falls into the category of pleasing others vs. pleasing myself also. It’s funny how everything goes around in circles back to that solid fear of punishment. Dang, maybe I need to look at that.

3. I need to not get others involved in my relationships. When everyone else is involved or has a say in your relationship, even from a place of concern or love, it still isn’t a good idea. They have no idea all the small pieces or details, they only hear you when you are upset, and then you invite them into a space they don’t need to carry, and then they are upset. Plus, they have their own ideas, fears, and experiences that cloud you. Nothing like having a well-placed fear that you didn’t have before fester inside. This goes for projects too. I realized a long time ago, that I only share what I am doing AFTER the fact. Going back to school? Working on a children’s book? Changing your hair color? Show/tell them after you did it. Trust me on this one.

4. Learn that not everyone has the same boundaries. A few of my extroverted acquaintances can talk my ear off all day or would probably visit and not leave, and my introverted self wants to simultaneously combust at the thought of it. Not because I don’t like them, but I’ve got that limited reserve thing. Some friends don’t need a lot of space or have no problem sharing important details of their lives, but I need space and privacy. One is not bad or good, it is just learning each other’s boundary language.

5. I need to ask for what I want and need. Lordy, this is a big one, and fits in with the other four. I see the roots of this one going deep down into the ground. I’m afraid to ask for what I need. Whether it’s support, or help (a big one), or more time to complete a task, or a shoulder to cry on when I need it (never been good at asking for this one), or attention, or money for what I offer (don’t want to be too pushy). This falls under boundaries, because when I communicate these things I help others to respond to me better. It’s a more direct route then pouting, assuming, resenting…you get the idea.

And finally…a big little hint

And a little hint, any area where you are feeling like you want to scream, “Get out of my f*cking space!” is a strong indication that one of your fences has been breached and you hit a boundary. Anger has its purpose.

How about you? Do you relate? Having a tough time with these areas setting boundaries?

Off to take some much needed Benadryl.

Fairy blessings,

designingfairysig

 

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So incidentally, I write more about boundaries in my two fav classes, Better Boundaries for the Sensitive, and Empath Skills class. Both have a new session starting March 20th. Go sign up to learn more!

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This Week’s Healing Alphabet Cards: The Gradual Climb

17 Feb

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 10.14.53 AMP is for Pay Attention. E is Earth Energy. Q is for Fairy Queen.

It’s the gradual climb.

Driving up to Flagstaff this weekend, I often get nervous climbing up those big hills. The view is magnificent veering over the forest trees, but pulling the car up the hills feels like a force of my own will rather then the car’s. Going home, driving down is even scarier until I realized it doesn’t have to be a roller coaster. I may be the only one who thinks this, but as a sensitive, I hate that feeling of being so out of control when I zoom down a hill that I am not familiar with. If I was easy-going and didn’t mind, I would just let go and enjoy the ride careening down the hill. But being so sensitive, and aware of so many physical sensations at once, it’s a scary feeling. And then this last trip down, it dawned on me. What if I take the hill slow so it doesn’t feel like a roller coaster? Yes, everyone around me is going 75 miles and up, but what if I go slow and take it easy? I will stay in the slower lane, of course, so others can pass. The bigger metaphor? The main stress for me is when I am asked or even forced to go a rhythm that fits other people, but doesn’t me, so they are comfortable. I don’t want to be a “problem.” I want to fit in. I want to be like everyone else. But I don’t want to be treated like I have three heads because I have different needs.

I drove down the hill the other day slowly taking my time, and guess what? I was fine. The trip was even enjoyable. I looked over at my basset girl who wasn’t showing huge signs of motion sickness, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who had a problem before. My stress and fear was greatly reduced and the hills felt doable to me. I felt in control of my car. I am sure with practice and once the roads become more familiar, I will be zooming along with everyone else. But in the meantime, I am honoring myself.

This week: pay attention to your own rhythms as a true form of self-care.

This week’s Featured Cards Brought to You by the Healing Fairy Alphabet Deck. Get your copy by clicking on the Buy Now Button. Have a deck? Take the Deck Class to learn more about the cards over here.

buynow

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Are Sensitive People Part Border Collie?

2 Dec

chaos calmI don’t like chaos. I used to think it was wanting control but I am realizing it’s my sensitive brain needing order. It all makes sense. As a highly sensitive person, I have a ton of information coming in at once. I notice the big things, the tiny things, and the things on an intuitive level also. That’s a ton of neurons firing and sorting at once. So it makes sense if I walked into a room that was, for example, a crazy party, my brain would take in the flashing lights, the music, the people, the people and their thoughts and feelings, ALL AT ONCE and I could easily overheat my main drive.

Walking into a crazy classroom, I feel like a border collie wanting to get some order with these disorganized sheep that are wandering here and there. I look to create immediate order, and the best way to do that is create some kind of focus in the messiness in front of me. Being sensitive is all about the path of self-acceptance. If I had physical limitations, like one leg, or couldn’t see, I would have to adapt and create a way of being. And I don’t think being sensitive is a limitation, but being not the norm in society, we sure are treated as such. We need to know ourselves and know what we need. (And the positive flip side of this is I am great at editing, pulling together a product or project, and can pull out intuitive information that isn’t available to everyone, and a host of other gifts.)

I like the gas in the car analogy. If I know my car needs special gas to function well, I don’t shame and frown at the car. If I know my body can’t do milk, I don’t shame my body (although I do get frustrated when pizza is around), I listen to my body. This is what this body needs or doesn’t need. Pushing my system to just “adapt” to wild chaos and the party in front of me, is just funny. It’s ignoring how you are wired. With the party situation, I know that I need to create some focus. I can focus on my friends, or the dessert table :), or dance and just go into my own little world. Focusing can help block out the extra noise so I create order in my brain. I accept I have a border collie in me that is protecting my sensitive system. And when the little guy can’t round up the sheep, I know I will have some difficulties and will need to work through it and with it, not ignore this fact. Otherwise, I know the consequence, and it looks the same as if I had eaten that slice of pizza.

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Clear Expectations and Rubrics

29 Oct

clearexpectations

I have a guilty pleasure.

I watch reality television. My favorite kind of show are design or cooking challenges. I am a Project Runway addictee and I’ve pretty much watched every season up to date. This past weekend I finished watching the finale for the past season and HULU suggested another show, Australia’s Top Model. I do admit to watching the last guys and girls season of America’s Top Model, and I was entertained by the drama and the fashion photography. That show falls into the same category as the cooking shows I watch. I am a horrible cook so watching good cooking is a bit of a fascination for me. There’s no stress because I know I will never aspire to be even a bit better than I am as I have no talent in this area. The model shows are much the same. I will never be 5’10, twig-like, flat-chested, or eighteen again, so it’s safe to witness another world I will never be a part of. I have realistic expectations.

Surprisingly, the Australian show was much more brutal with criticism then the American show. From watching a two season marathon (yes, I watched two seasons while drawing most the day),  it seemed the judges made up the rules as they went along. Girls were judged by their runway walk, but once they got that down, they SHOULD have worked on their photos instead. And the judges picked out their final photos from a large pile they took of them usually choosing the best or the odd one of the bunch to their preference. Sometimes, criticism made perfect sense and we, the audience, learned a great deal about how to model, although, I have to say, I really don’t have that interest. Other times, criticism was random and odd. Particularly brainless was giving the girl criticism about the size of her butt who clearly showed signs of early eating disorder and was model thin.

All this model show watching had me thinking about clear expectations. I am realizing something rather important as a sensitive. I need clear expectations. What is often hard having my own business is that there is a part of me that thinks, I will do all this work and offer all this, and in return, I will be rewarded with what I need. The problem is often when that doesn’t happen and I am left with an uneven exchange.

Most sensitive folk are very responsible and we like to please. Whether that pleasing is for approval, and approval can mean acceptance, or it is simply to keep the peace because we hate conflict. In order to please we need the rules, and the rules, like in that tv show, aren’t always very clear. We want to know that if we do A/ then B/ we get a reward. Many situations we think we do A and B, we may even get chastised for not doing C and D, when we hadn’t even known there was a C and D, which is what often happens with unclear expectations or hard to please people.

In Grad School classes we were told about Rubrics. We had set expectations for each course we took describing what was expected of us. If we did a certain amount of work we received a grade. If we did things well or did more than expected, we received good grades. None of this was subjective, it was super clear. If I wanted that A, I had to do a certain amount of work and I was rewarded. WE NEED THAT!

I think we’ve all lived through situations growing up that we may have been expected to be more extroverted and do things like extroverted people do, and to be less sensitive or emotional.  This is much like being asked to be eighteen again and model thin. Impossible expectations are just that…crazy and unrealistic. We will fail but not because of what we are attempting. Trying to please and fulfill those expectations might be even crazier. (It’s what I call the Treadmill). Maybe it’s time to walk away from situations that ask that of us and be pulled to the ones that have a very clear, upfront formula for success. And if isn’t clear, we can ask that it is.

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Are you picking up thoughts? New class

15 Oct

The other day I went to Walmart and got my usual Walmart headache. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the prices and the fact that if I need a Vacuum bag that fits only a Kenmore C, I can get that alongside my favorite cookies. As an empath, I usually pick up a ton of feelings that aren’t mine in that store, probably because of the Dome Affect. There are no windows in Walmart. There is no energy circulation, so to speak, so it all gets nicely trapped inside. And the thoughts are rampant bouncing around the walls hitting you, henceforth, the Walmart buildup headache. All these bouncing thoughts had me wondering about psychic ability of Telepathy.

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You can pick up thoughts from someone ruminating on you from far away, and walk away with them thinking they are own, much like the latest virus. Next thing you know, you are feeling hyper, angry or crazy (that’s their energy you are picking up from those thoughts.)  It’s the ability where you know who is ringing your cell before you even say hello. It’s even the knowing you have when you use animal communication on your dog companion.

In this new mini class, we will explore our telepathic ability and how to unload and balance it out, and then develop it to be able to read more energy and not feel so overloaded in our brains. It’s a superpower ability you already have! Check out the class HERE, which starts in only a few weeks. Sign up in October to get the shiny Early Bird rate over here.

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Weird Ass Energy Alert

15 Oct

weirdass

Have you noticed the last few weeks energy has been kinda wacky? For the empathic person, this has been a crazy time.  Perhaps it’s the dreaded Mercury Retrograde, which has been talked about often in local new agey circles. It could be the overall malaise from the country battling things like weird ass fears (Ebola), unexpected losses (Robin Williams), and news of terrorists cutting off heads and being brutal, magnified by the wild moon action (red eclipse). Energy-wise to the sensitive, the energy feels choppy, bumpy and well, weird. Manifesting seems like a struggle and uphill battle, and our usual guidance might even be quiet (I hate those times of feeling disconnected). How do you get through it? I have noticed many colleagues and friends avoiding Facebook and the News, which, especially has been a big downer. Taking plenty of time out to touch base with Nature or be alone to regroup is also helpful. And telling yourself, this too will pass, is a good reminder. Hang on Sensitive! With any energy build-up, there needs to be a release.

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10 Things to Do if Moon Madness Hits You

8 Oct

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It’s Moon Madness. Lunar Eclipse wildness and Planetary fun. What to do when the crazy energies hit you? How about this…

  1. Dance around naked in the moonlight! (Only recommended if you have a closed-in backyard from the neighbors).
  2. Dance around in the moonlight in the forest. (There’s a naked theme going here).
  3. Ground. This is an important one. When there’s lots of crazy energies about, it’s easy to float up and out. This manifests as forgetfulness, spaciness and fuzzy brain. Do what you can to get deep into that body of yours. (I know, I know, it’s more fun to float around the cosmos). Think dirt, your feet, or exercise.
  4. Make a moon madness goal collage. Cut out pics of the moon and what you want to accomplish.
  5. Take photos of the moon and express yourself.
  6. Watch a video of the eclipse on the internet. Cool, huh?
  7. Check out this Lunar Crafts projects on Pinterest. Personally, I like the Moon Crater Art Project.
  8. Stay away from other people until it passes. I recommend a cave somewhere warm. With art supplies and junk food. Maybe with your animals.
  9. Dive down deep and do some real soul searching. The moon can amplify feelings. Why not go in there and learn?
  10. And number ten, write a story about what life on the moon is like. Is the moon really made of cheese? Or are there moon people living deep inside underground? Design a whole way of moon life on paper.

Happy Mooning! Okay, that doesn’t sound right. You get the idea.

Fairy blessings,

designingfairysig

 

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Or sign up for an animal communication mentorship? That’s a moon goal. Also, really cool, really new empath mentorships. I am setting up October and November mentorships right now.

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