In the Yard and Non-Negotiables

1 May

This week I explore my non-negotiables.

What’s a non-negotiable? I’ve been learning from my backyard. When I rented my Fairy Castle, it was the yard that I fell in love with. I dig roses and there’s quite a few, including the kind that smell really good. This backyard is like a little park I can sit in with my Emma Lou and swing back and forth as we admire the beauty.

When I water the plants, I watch their little leaves reach upwards in a smile. When I forget, in the inhospitable Arizona heat, I will find leaden leaves and a definite frown. It’s simple, but I am those plants. When I nurture and feed me, I pump up with color. I’m a shiny, happy thing. When I forget to water me, well…

But here’s the thing. I’ve taken in through my adult life some seriously faulty beliefs–that messed-up perception I talked about in my last post. It’s taken awhile and lots of work, but I am seeing those beliefs that include:

only when I make enough money will I deserve to have some rest

only when I give what others want will I have support

only when I work 80 hours a week and show I’m responsible will I get a pat on the head and what I need

Yuck!!! I am seeing that none of these beliefs work for me. I am sure you have some ONLYs in your brain swirling around. These need to be pulled! And in their place, I plant my non-negotiables.

In order to thrive as a Ronni plant, I need those non-negotiables. Having this yard and visiting Indian Gardens frequently I realize with certainty I MUST have constant interaction with Nature. It’s not lazy or irresponsible to take time out in Nature. On the contrary, I find it’s productive: I’m balanced and less emotional or reactive to other people’s stuff when I have time in the yard or the forest. It also feeds my creativity and my curiosity, which becomes many classes and books.

And in my usual, creative, visual fashion, I’ve been creating a chart to keep track of my non-negotiables (each drawn into a circle) as they come along. (To see it, Go Subscribe to My Newsletter.)

If I follow this line of thought, I also look at what waters me and what doesn’t. Translated, this means, what supports me and what doesn’t? Where do I feel SEEN, HEARD, SUPPORTED and APPRECIATED? Where do I feel ignored and forgotten, unimportant, or even poisoned? Let’s not focus on those weeds, just pull em’ out!

What are your non-negotiables and where do you feel watered?


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