Category: spiritual lessons

manifesting · miracles · Misc. Psychic · Spirit Guides · spiritual lessons

The Universe/God Has a Sense of Humor

designingfairy

I was playing around with the concept of manifesting and asking for more. I decided to ask for a specific monetary amount to arrive in the next few days. When I realized I was asking too little, I  blurted “$1000! I want a $1000 in the next few days.”

I received this in the mail.

Look closer…

Even more than I asked for!

Did I mention you need to be specific when you ask for things? Like, I could actually cash this check. The check was from a used car dealership  supposedly I could use towards a down payment on a new car.

🙂

spiritual lessons

Just be you

designingfairy9 Comments

I grew up with the “compare and contrast” syndrome. It’s the equivalent of putting out a measuring tape and saying, “Hmmm, I”m a little short here. Might need to be longer here. How I am isn’t right.”

What I’ve learned…

In the work world, I cringe when I come up against this syndrome in its many guises. If I am having an off day, I will fall prey to it and wallow in insecurity, or I will want to jump in the game and compete. Until now.

I finally saw and recognized the syndrome and realized, Hey, this is stupid! Kinda like, the Emperor has no clothes! Can’t you see that?

The advertising world gets off on this syndrome. If I think this celebrity is fabulous, I will want to have her haircut, wear her fancy designer clothes. Or, I will feel inadequate in some way because I don’t look just like her and then I will want to buy her haircare products, join a gym and spend lots of money trying to improve and make me “better.”

When I’ve been exposed to this syndrome, it is the quickest route to depression for me and to be knocked off balance for days. Sure, there’s lots of intuitives out there, sensitive teachers, animal communicators, fairy people, whimsical artists, etc. and I could fall lost in the sea of sameness. I met one lady recently who does all that I do, supposedly— teach the same kind of classes, even creating cards…omg, I am not special anymore! I have to prove I’m different, more special, more something?! But that is such a false impression. Do dentists say, “Wow. What I do isn’t special and I shouldn’t do it anymore. There’s lots of people in town pulling teeth and fixing molars.” Healers, do you hear this?

There’s a new voice in my head now that says, “WTF? Do you hear yourself with this nonsense?” Yes, my head even curses a lot too.

You see, we are like little snowflakes. All different, and our own little patterns of light and shiny that’s a mix match of special in itself. (Does that mean we are all mutts? Yes, in a way.) I could teach the same animal communication class but I guarantee I have my own particular spin on it with of course, stories and humor, because that is how I roll. (There will also have to be some cute little drawings in there, naturally.) Another person may be really good at teaching the same class but  in a very organized, left-brain way with lots of exercises. Who comes to my class, hopefully, matches my energy and my particular snowflake energy offering. They need exactly that combination I offer.  I forget that in the “compare and contrast” moment.

Many times the perfect students for me will write that learning with fun is exactly what worked for them taking my classes. That will feel so good to hear–like two puzzle pieces coming together in that CLICK.

Where does this awful syndrome start? I think it was created from a general feeling of unacceptance of self and our limitations. Either we came in with that to learn acceptance, and we arranged this life before we came in and were high on crack in heaven so we landed into a family that looked at us like we had three horns on our heads and gave us the message continually, “why can’t you just have one horn like us?”  Or, maybe, we had a great family but we ventured into the world and the world wanted us to be a whole different animal, so we tried to change. Whatever its origins, the key is to see it now, because we can change that shaming line of thinking. You were born the way you are because maybe the world needs someone with 3 horns!

I feel that empathic undercurrent many times in social networking. It’s like one huge family trying to compete for mom and dad’s attention. Hey, look at me! I can make you $1000 in 3 days! No, I can solve all your problems in one day! MY program is super super special. Look at my amazing spiritual quote of wisdom. Aren’t I smart? I’m like a god.

The antidote to all of this nonsense is simple in solution but may be a challenge to do. Be as authentic as you can possibly be and stay true to that. Just be you. Spend most of your energy finding that authentic you that’s been buried under tons of layers of other messed-up beliefs. And the best marketing technique is to create a good product that is true to your story, or do the best work you can. Know what you are really good at and what you love to do. Know your strengths and take advantage of them. Then let people know you exist who need what you offer. What you offer is more than enough. There. You now all owe me thousands of dollars for the Ronni Marketing Program. I do accept Paypal. 🙂

ps. if you continually find yourself offering your stuff in environments that you feel you need to jump up and down and prove your worth, it’s just the wrong puzzle piece for you. Don’t keep re-creating your childhood environment. Take your energy elsewhere. See Puzzle Piece post.

empaths · lessons from the fairy · spiritual lessons

We Need More than White Bubbles for protection

designingfairy2 Comments

I had a light bulb moment this morning.

One of the reasons why I left my church, was for me, there wasn’t enough meat. I had graduated, and needed more answers to my many spiritual questions. I was frustrated and aggravated for months and months by the simple “everything is love” and “just love everyone and see their higher self” philosophies. Yes, these statements are true but it didn’t answer anything for me. It throws a lot of things under the rug. If you are an abusive jerk who is running over my boundaries and I just “see your higher self and love you” that usually translates into more boundary invasion and more abuse, because even if I am putting up boundaries, and being nice and loving, someone like that is going to like the challenge of seeing how he can bash right through those boundaries. This more simple line of thinking is  a surface spirituality that ignores the many layers, including what’s thrown under the rug.

This experience had me thinking about psychic protection and what I’ve been teaching. Putting a white bubble around me for protection is nice and sweet, but as an empath, I can still become amazingly sponge-y and open anyway and take in a ton that isn’t mine. That bubble won’t do crap for me if: I don’t know I’m taking something on and am feeling awful; don’t realize I’m taking something on because someone else’s stuff is triggering mine; or a whole bunch of other reasons.

Basically, I determined that we need to tackle the psychological and intellectual stuff underneath our reactions to be fully protected. That’s why my book has so many instances we need different tools for, because it is isn’t a simple thing of putting up a white bubble. A white bubble forms an intention to create a strong boundary around you. You’re putting a STRONG line in the sand that says, “I don’t want this dark stuff near me.” That’s why it works. Your will is loud and clear. As empaths, our major work is creating those very strong boundaries to protect ourselves. The problem is we came in with very thin or little boundaries so we can read the energies around us. It’s a gift really, to be able to do that when we can control it, and there’s BALANCE, which is then a tightrope to walk. I still have days I even curse my sensitivity and get tired of always having to do this much work to keep that balance, but I think it’s a harder world to walk when you are so unaware of any energies at all.

We also need to clear out the beliefs in the way taught to us that prevent us from creating strong boundaries, which for me would include that I have to be nice and loving to everyone around me, which would make the church’s stance counterproductive to what is best for me.

Perhaps, then, the white bubble is a beginner’s technique and folks learn where they are at. And as we go further along this path, deeper and deeper, we are going to need more advanced learning and tools. There’s no judgement, just different levels to drop down into, but just like in school, if I am ready for sixth grade, I’m not going to stay back in third grade for those around me.

And for now, when I empathically carrying something that isn’t mine, I need to go in and ask why. Was it as simple as I was super-open and tired and then I walked into Walmart to buy milk and just got slimed with negative stuff stuck in the air? Or, did I pick up on sadness and I wasn’t acknowledging the sadness I was already feeling before I stepped into the store so it triggered mine? Or even yet, was I still corded and deeply connected to a sad friend who I just talked to on the phone and a part of my energy wanted to reach out and help her? If I see all the energy around me as information, it is all a story to help me better understand myself. It’s not a mean world that I need protection from because it’s trying to hurt me. In a way, it’s strengthening me and my will, and helping me grow.

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This essay is from my ASC300: Empath Skills class.

fairy lessons · flower nature healing · lessons from the fairy · spiritual lessons

In the Yard and Non-Negotiables

designingfairy

This week I explore my non-negotiables.

What’s a non-negotiable? I’ve been learning from my backyard. When I rented my Fairy Castle, it was the yard that I fell in love with. I dig roses and there’s quite a few, including the kind that smell really good. This backyard is like a little park I can sit in with my Emma Lou and swing back and forth as we admire the beauty.

When I water the plants, I watch their little leaves reach upwards in a smile. When I forget, in the inhospitable Arizona heat, I will find leaden leaves and a definite frown. It’s simple, but I am those plants. When I nurture and feed me, I pump up with color. I’m a shiny, happy thing. When I forget to water me, well…

But here’s the thing. I’ve taken in through my adult life some seriously faulty beliefs–that messed-up perception I talked about in my last post. It’s taken awhile and lots of work, but I am seeing those beliefs that include:

only when I make enough money will I deserve to have some rest

only when I give what others want will I have support

only when I work 80 hours a week and show I’m responsible will I get a pat on the head and what I need

Yuck!!! I am seeing that none of these beliefs work for me. I am sure you have some ONLYs in your brain swirling around. These need to be pulled! And in their place, I plant my non-negotiables.

In order to thrive as a Ronni plant, I need those non-negotiables. Having this yard and visiting Indian Gardens frequently I realize with certainty I MUST have constant interaction with Nature. It’s not lazy or irresponsible to take time out in Nature. On the contrary, I find it’s productive: I’m balanced and less emotional or reactive to other people’s stuff when I have time in the yard or the forest. It also feeds my creativity and my curiosity, which becomes many classes and books.

And in my usual, creative, visual fashion, I’ve been creating a chart to keep track of my non-negotiables (each drawn into a circle) as they come along. (To see it, Go Subscribe to My Newsletter.)

If I follow this line of thought, I also look at what waters me and what doesn’t. Translated, this means, what supports me and what doesn’t? Where do I feel SEEN, HEARD, SUPPORTED and APPRECIATED? Where do I feel ignored and forgotten, unimportant, or even poisoned? Let’s not focus on those weeds, just pull em’ out!

What are your non-negotiables and where do you feel watered?

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Hey, if you like learning from Nature, do sign up for my newsletter, or consider signing up for the upcoming Fairy Online School session that starts Junes 1st.

spiritual lessons

Spirit Clues

designingfairy

I am convinced that all of life is like one giant reading. In a reading, we interpret information that comes through that is usually symbolic in nature. Even the animals will communicate in metaphors or pictures when they describe physical ailments. Once you learn this new language, you realize your whole world around you is giving you metaphors and SPIRIT CLUES. That’s pretty wild.

I was dealing with an issue with a loved one I needed clarity on, and kept getting PHYSICAL CLUES or images plopped  into my environment. I went to put the garbage out and there was a catcher mitt directly in front of my house in the middle of the road. My attention drew me twice to the movie 17 Again when I was shopping in two separate stores. I was being reminded that this loved one’s issues were all deprived from his younger trauma.

My girls will metaphorically clear things out for me through their odd illnesses. When Sarah had a yucky, anal gland infection, that seemed to come out of nowhere, all this tar-like OLD STUFF was clearing out of her. At the time, I was doing the same.

My illnesses will always seem bizarre and out of place when they happen, but are almost always metaphors for what I am clearing out or need to clear out at the time. When I had a broken blood vessel break in my eye recently, I was surprised by its suddenness. Its appearance made no sense. The eye doctor said that it just happens. Yeah, right! Not with this body. I was clearing out what was my father’s vision or perception that I was carrying around for years. Before that, I was doing a great deal of work on myself in that area and the last big thing to happen was that eye, weird thing. It’s like the body gave one big push out of the leftover stuff. (Interesting…almost like a reverse birth).

Of course, interpretation is for the reader. What a baseball mitt means to a friend may be very different for you. And when it’s just one clue it may just be an ordinary baseball mitt.  It’s best to look at the total picture of all the clues together to have insight on the pattern or issue you are dealing with right now. Your spiritual clues are usually an answer to a question you made before the clues showed up.

empath · empath mentoring · Empath skills · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Focusing and the Sensitive

designingfairy2 Comments

Did you see that shiny thing?

I get distracted easily. As a sensitive person, I tend to get swept away with the tide around me and lose focus. As a creative person, I can get have way too many ideas and want to do them TODAY.

I wrote about this in my book, but I had this lesson reinforced the other day.

In Yogalates class, we bend our bodies into many balancing poses. There’s one pose that contorts my body into a tree, which I really like. I had one leg bent at the knee and my arms outstretched into my swaying leaves.  I found myself checking on the other students to see how they were doing and sure enough, that was my downfall. I fell over. Poor tree. I got myself back into the pose and focused on the floor in front of me and centered on my own tree. I felt my branches reaching to the sky, my legs, um, trunk, strong. I could have stood there for hours! I felt like no wind or storm could knock me down!

After being a tree, my thoughts churned over how I often start my day with lots of goals and get lost. I get pulled by all the threads around me. The internet is the worst. I love my Facebook buddies, but I can get caught up into the loop for hours. Everything is so fast and there’s so much coming at me that is interesting. There goes my goals.

Knowing I have this tendency, I have to fight the pull to very shiny things. They distract me from my own gold. The answer is to re-center, however I can do this. Unfortunately, that means a little less time on Facebook and more time sitting in Nature so I can hear myself. It’s funny how Nature is filled with beauty and shininess but I am pushed more into myself then scattered. It must be the radio dial to CALM vs. Facebook’s dial to EXCITE.

Another tool I am finding that is helping me center and focus is setting goals. I’m reading a great book on receiving that I will probably share later. I like the goal setting idea because know that when I do center, I can be very focused and can easily accomplish what I want. Having goals, keeps the focus on what I want, rather than get pulled by everyone else’s wants.

If Nature isn’t doing the trick, I can always reach for flower essences to help give me that edge and extra support. I like SOAP TREE YUCCA for focusing, and Desert Willow helps me stand tall. SQUASH helps me be strong in sticking to what I need.

The biggest tool is knowing that I can get easily thrown off and to try and limit what I take in. Too much coming in will look like overwhelm in my system, and I will appear “flighty” and scattered when I am really just caught up in the tornado around me.

Be strong trees, Sensitives!

healing · Intuition · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

10 Things on the Internet That Send Me Backwards

designingfairy

It’s not that I’m too sensitive, I just have an excellent radar of what gives me energy and what takes it away. The problem is I need to listen to that radar as the built-in gift that it is!

My Radar showed me this week the 10 things that send me backwards into a radio dial of YUCK vs. YAY while on the Internet.

  1. Reading Local News. Here in Yavapai County we have the most BEEP’ed-up and corrupt system. It’s like the local agencies and judicial system are all high on crack making decisions, and spend most of their time trying to cover up how much they screw up. It’s soooo disillusioning and brings up feelings of hopelessness.
  2. High School news. I will say it if no one else does–why do I want to hear about folks who I went to high school with so many years later? Didn’t I escape being an insecure, clumsy teenager with superficial silliness? Does it even matter anymore? And the high school friends I want to be in touch with, I am already in touch with. Ugh. There’s also the “how is my life now?” thing that happens in your head. I think it’s called midlife crisis. Another Ugh that spirals down.
  3. Politics.The politicians right now are all playing mean head games and no one is honest and upfront. It’s an empath’s nightmare.
  4. Celebrity deaths. So, so sad. What a waste. Such heartbreak.
  5. Spam. I don’t want to grow my manhood two inches or pick up hot dates. If I get one more “Adriana wants to talk to you”, I will scream! Spammers, do me a favor. At least be better marketers. When you send these things out, find out if you are sending to a man or woman at least.
  6. Angelina Jolie news. I really don’t care Angelina is now engaged to Brad Pitt. Let’s face it. Beyond the personas, you know you pick up that they are pretty screwed up underneath. Besides, I don’t have a relationship with these people. They aren’t my people.
  7. The internet’s use of women as parts. I see that kind of stuff and I feel like my power is being stripped away from me until all that is left of me is how big my boobs are or how thin I am.
  8. High School. I know I said that one, but I think it really pushes a button. Because I’m feeling Yucky again. How many years ago was that for cripe’s sake?
  9. Photos of Abused Dogs. I know you want to arrange awareness for what happened to a poor, abused dog, but I’m visual. This image won’t leave me for days. Plus, I’m empathic and can pick up the dog’s pain. It’s like I’m getting abused seeing these photos. That doesn’t help your cause or the dog.
  10. Spiritual Quotes that don’t really say anything. I like my guidance to assist me or give me tools or a new awareness. Crap like, “Just be love,” doesn’t work for me. It’s just floaty and airy, and I think you are probably smoking something good vs. being enlightened.

Okay, now that you are annoyed and bothered with me, let’s go for the opposite.

The Antidote

  1. Real Support. I’ve really loved and enjoyed all the beautiful, inspiring and loving people I’ve met on Facebook and through my website. Where did you come from? Where were you most of my life? I am so grateful for your inner beauty and how much you have gifted me. Such lovely community!
  2. Photos of dogs doing cute things. I especially love stories about dogs who are heros and make a difference in their people’s lives. My heart just sings when I see these things.
  3. The right words. Don’t you just love when someone posts something that you so needed to hear that day? It’s pure guidance channeled through them.
  4. Good news. I love to hear good news about my friends and how life is being hopeful and positive for them. That helps me feel more hopeful for my own life.
  5. Authenticity. I would much rather hear someone being real, like saying, they feel like crap or are sad. Or they are frustrated because this manifesting thing isn’t working! I hate the false positive stuff.
  6. Inspiration. As an artist, I can be fed a simple picture and be inspired to make a slew of things. Watching one episode of Project Runway on Netflix has me redesigning my clothes and dressing the dog.
  7. Information that really helps. A lively discussion can lead me to the right supplement to give to Sarah, or whatever else I’m researching in the moment.
  8. Fairy anything. Like duh. Of course I’d like this. Show me a fairy house or a beautiful flower and I’m fed.
  9. Sometimes I like the Astrology or God Wants You to Know statuses, when they are spot on. Then they fall into the category of #3.
  10. Humor. Boy, I love how easily humor can lift my mood so quickly. I then take life so less seriously. One really good episode of Saturday Night Live on Hulu and I’m practically peeing in my pants.
empath · fairy deck · lessons from the fairy · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

This Week’s Message

designingfairy

fairy lessons · Flower essences for sensitive · Spirit Guides · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Did an old button get pushed and trusting

designingfairy

Did you ever notice that when you are shut down and contracted you can’t trust in a benevolent Universe? You don’t feel you are being taken care of. You just feel mad. And that state of being is usually connected to not being able to receive. How can you receive anything when you are curled up in a little ball?

But why did I shut down in the first place? Often, when we don’t feel we are taken care of, it’s very hard to want to give out. Lots of old buttons get pushed. When my needs aren’t heard, I often can be found screaming at my Guides, “Hey, over here! What about me!” That’s when I know my inner child’s old wounds are being activated.

Recently, I saw myself contract big time when money I had counted on wasn’t there. I panicked and threw a temper tantrum. After all, that was a source of support I could count on. That one button gets pushed and then ALL my past experiences trusting about consistency of support come up at once to replay and heal. Have you had this experience? It’s like a domino effect.

I didn’t realize how upset I was about this until the money reappeared again and I could sigh in relief. I felt better, but then I saw that this whole theme came up to heal for a reason.

I looked at consistency in my life and realized I NEED my support system to have this important aspect. I’m an earth sign and part fairy: I NEED grounding and strong foundations to feel safe enough to fly. I need support that isn’t attached to any form of shaming too, which I felt as a child. I thought about times in my life when I didn’t have a strong foundation to hold on to. I would gather those were the times I was called “flighty.”

I’m an earth sign and part fairy: I NEED grounding and strong foundations to feel safe enough to fly.

So, inconsistent support was often linked to my feeling forgotten and my needs not being heard. Yup, that sounds like how my inner child had felt.

That makes sense then, when I look to God and my Guides/Angels for support, I have the same fears with them–will they be there when I need them? Will I have decent, truthful guidance when I need it? Are my needs being heard? Do I matter?

I need to separate out the past, dysfunctional system I’ve placed onto my spiritual support. Weed out what was then and didn’t work. I can ask my Guidance for help with this and be patient with myself.

And one thing that dawned on me that is really important–if I am dealing with people or organizations that mirror the same experience I had as a child — I am going to have the same button pushed and am going to experience the same inconsistent support that I can’t rely on. That’s the time to seek out healthy support that is the opposite.

Suggested tool:

One of my favorite flower essences for trusting is White Pansy. I wrote about this essence here. You can purchase it in my store here.

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · psychic · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons · spirituality

Should we just love everyone?

designingfairy3 Comments

Designing Fairy mouths off…

I’ve been pondering a lot of messages floating about on the internet and social groups lately. Even my old church promoted just loving everyone and seeing their higher selves. I think that is an excellent idea, but there needs to be disclaimers with these types of messages.

Do you love the person who is abusive to you? Just smile and see their higher self? What about the jerk pushing over your boundaries and walking right through them? Some of this line of love thinking feels very hippy-I’m-high-on-something kind of crap when I am encountering these kind of individuals, so I am guessing, that’s where my anger comes in.

Here’s my advice: yes, love them. See their higher selves and RUN! I mean frickin’ run for that damn exit. Let them bother someone else then, and run past their boundaries and treat them like crap. Honey, I am not going to sit there and see the good they could possibly be, or that they are souls just like me underneath. Yes, so true, but right now they are toxic to me and I’m going to RUN!

I think the bottom line under all of that teaching about love is, do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to want to be surrounded by people who really care about your feelings and needs, and truly care about your boundaries? Do they hear you when you speak about your concerns, or, do they act like they hear you, but then trample over you anyway? Do you love yourself enough to not be abused by someone else’s bad behavior, that you might understand underneath why they are acting the way they are, but right now you will keep yourself safe and out of the line of fire?

So, yes, it is all about LOVE. Just love you, and love them enough to let them learn their own lessons, but far over there.