Category: spiritual lessons

empaths · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

I’m sensitive to stuff

designingfairy

As a sensitive, I am sensitive to many things. It’s not that I’m a little delicate flower who can’t survive in the world, in fact, I’m quite strong. My body is fine-tuned and knows when something toxic shouldn’t be in there. For instance:

  • My body seems to know when added MSG is in my food. My head will hurt, I will feel spacey and a little whoozy. I once had an MSG high for an hour in a chinese restaurant. This is probably a good thing. Why would I want a chemical unknowingly added to my food?
  • Extra perfumes in my makeup or lotions beware! I will rash in protest.
  • Lots of bad stuff in the milk or meat? I’ll be the first to let you know.
  • Someone just clean the store I just walked into with toxic chemicals? On comes the sneezing.

I used to think that there was something wrong with me. But what if there is something wrong with our world? Are we supposed to be all chemically enhanced and just be okay with it? Have we gotten so numb to our environment we don’t even react to what is toxic in it? And this applies to all aspects of our lives.  Becoming more aware and awake is a good thing. Becoming more sensitive, then, is also.

spiritual lessons

Repost: Steps on How Not to Manifest

designingfairy

I’ve been going over past posts I’ve created to rally up some articles for a few places and came across one of my favorite blog posts.  I had to laugh at myself when I re-read this as I was doing all of the following without much thought. So, dear readers, here is the way NOT to manifest things you want into your life. Drum roll, please…

Steps on How Not to Manifest

  1. Obsess over what you don’t have. This is very important for not manifesting what you want.
  2. Freak out completely over what is missing.
  3. Begin to deteriorate emotionally and question if your Guides give a flying monkey or not if you eat, or have gas money, or what you need. Don’t trust at all. And absolutely, don’t, under any circumstances, remind yourself of times when your Guides and the Universe came through for you. This may be the time they don’t.
  4. Feel resentment because what you need isn’t coming from the sources you think it should. Resent everyone. It’s probably their fault.
  5. Don’t allow yourself to play, relax, or enjoy anything, because after all, you need to only focus on creating what you need. This is the responsible way to do things.
  6. Be extra hard on yourself for not manifesting what you need. Tell yourself you are flawed in some way or that no one cares about you.
  7. Force yourself to do things you hate, or that you should do, to get what you want.
  8. Obsess some more. Obsessing is always a good thing to show the Universe how much you really care.
  9. And finally, and this is very important, take all of this very, very seriously.
    – I’ve learned all of this from experience, I hate to admit.
empaths · spiritual lessons

Broken Leg Theory

designingfairy1 Comment

Broken Leg Theory

I have a really cool set of spiritual Guides/Angels. They put up with a lot when they signed up for being my Guides. In the past year, I have been irritable and nasty and have screamed at them many times, but their guidance has continued to help me through most of the challenges.
I wanted to know why I had to live through such a traumatic year, as have many of my friends and loved ones. I know all about the theories of life lessons speeding up as we get closer to 2012, so we have a great deal of “stuff” to tackle and get rid of. My Guides, always simple and to the point, but profound, explained to me the Broken Leg theory. If you broke your leg ten years back, and it never really set in place correctly, when it rains you hurt tremendously. You still can’t walk in a straight line without wobbling a little to the left. That’s because it never healed. You may have barreled through the healing process and didn’t attend to your needs or your feelings.
Right now, in our lives, we are being asked to heal all the proverbial broken legs that never set right–the issues we ignored and stuffed down, the childhood stuff that affected us throughout adulthood, and the patterns we never addressed. It isn’t pretty. It’s all up. It’s our last chance to really heal.
 

healing · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Anniversaries

designingfairy

What most people don’t realize is that after major loss, when you think most of it is over and done, the anniversary dates will rehash it all over again. Sometimes it will sneak up on you.

Every year I have a very hard time in early May. Even though my Mother has since been gone for fifteen years, and even though she has made frequent astral visits, I still feel grief overcome me like a wave around the 5th and 6th of the month from not having a Mom HERE.

I have a trauma anniversary date coming up when my life exploded. These kinds of anniversaries bring up all kinds of nonsense to clear out, and frequent, “Oh, man, I thought I dealt with that.”

If you have lost a loved one, whether a human or furry one, the anniversary date will bring up that loss even if you are too busy that day to notice. Is there something unfinished besides the usual grief? Is there still work to do?

In my own life, I am finding, that I needed new resources–the support I didn’t have when I was going through everything (this excludes my dear, wonderful friends who were amazing).  I didn’t know there were actual groups and support people who had dealt with parenting highly-destructive and cruel RAD kids. There was after-support? Validation of what I had lived through might help clean up the leftover grief.

Maybe you went through a long illness with your animal and have that leftover grief.  Had to take care of an aging parent? Lost a home through foreclosure? Is there a group of folks that have gone through the same thing that you can talk with? Only someone who had lived through it could really truly understand what you went through. You need a witness.

I am amazed when I look around at the friends and family around me at what life has thrown at everyone. It’s been very hard time for all. But maybe we are all healing major, major stuff, and this is the one way to do it. I have no idea why we all agreed to contract to do this. I still think we were all high and loopy in heaven before we came in!

And remember support is just that. It supports you and helps you stand. Any support that causes you to feel worse or be thrown backwards, is not true support.

new thinking · psychic tips · spiritual lessons

Is there a Satan?

designingfairy

I’ve been watching a fun tv series called Reaper. The premise of the show is a young man’s parents sell his soul to the devil. On his 21st birthday the devil shows up with an assignment: his new job is to retrieve bad souls on earth and send them back to hell.

It’s been a cleverly written show with some witty moments, and the theme of good vs. evil covers every episode. The message? In every moment we can decide if we go the higher or the lower road.

I didn’t realize that watching that show would be a percursor to something in my own life. Lately I’m seriously questioning what happens when the Bad is allowed to get away with it and still go on to hurt other people? Where’s God in that situation? Is there a Devil or a Satan as my estranged father-in-law believes? Or is there just sick and unhealthy people who don’t know any better? They are just so disconnected from the light.

My friend Caroline believes that today the good are growing lighter/stronger, and the bad are growing darker and darker. The two sides of the coin need to be there for balance.

Is that why the bad is allowed to continue to be so destructive?  Or does it karmically even out in the end like the other movie I watched, The Lovely Bones? What do you believe?

new thinking · spiritual lessons

Being Seen

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How many of us were not seen as children? Our parents were too busy with their own stuff to really see our talents, our gifts, or who we are. Maybe they had a tough life and were protecting us by thinking we needed to be something else. Some of us were lucky and had that blessing and may be thriving now with that support. But what if you’ve never felt that?

I wrote a book awhile back of children’s stories. One of them was called “The Hair Dog.” In the story, from a day of miracles a dog is made from a pile of dog hair. He spends most of the story quite invisible to his newfound family and maybe even a nuisance, until one day he meets the rest of his kind where he’s truly seen and appreciated. (See the book here.) At the time I wrote it I didn’t know it was coming from a deeper place inside of me. I just had a whimsical story to tell.

The other night I watched one of my favorite movies, Avatar. There’s the romantic love scene when Jake says, “I see you” to Neytiri. We’re blown away by this moment, and can literally feel the deep love he has for her pop off the screen. In healing circles we say “Namaste.” You acknowledge the light/soul you see in another. Empaths see the world at a deeper level. Once we get past our own sh*t, we are able to really see another and the love can feel intense. We see their light in spite of all the other “stuff” in the way. We may even want to run away from it, but we still feel it. Then we get frustrated and upset when they can’t really see us because of their stuff that gets in the way. We’ve been there, we know. You just hope they can get to the other side of it.

Emma Lou, my basset girl, is great at being seen. I could have used her talents growing up. She makes an entrance into the room and if you are too busy to see her, she firmly yet gently pushes your arm and hand onto her back. She knows and is unembarassed by needing to be seen.

I thought recently why I went into the work of animal communication. One of the big reasons was I felt the animals didn’t have a voice. They weren’t seen! I felt huge satisfaction when I could translate the animal’s needs and its life transformed positively.

Bottom line, I think that is what we are all looking for. We want to be deeply loved, honored and seen for who we are, and have it be more than enough. Not that is should be embellished, or changed, or molded, or be something else to please, or to have to compete with anyone else, but to bask in the feeling that we are, just as we are, bright little stars.

Maybe it is as simple as finally being seen by ourselves.  Seeing how deeply special each one of us is.

Namaste dear reader.

Animal Communication · empaths · Flower essences for sensitive · new thinking · spiritual lessons · supernatural

Science vs. Psychic

designingfairy2 Comments

I have this analytical part of me. I love to take apart a puzzle and put it back together again in my mind. Usually I can see what the missing piece is in a situation, and have an idea how to fix it. I need to see it or experience it to believe. This is the science part of me. I think also, it may be a Capricorn trait. We love the structures and rebuilding things.

The other part of me is the sensitive/psychic part. I’m a walking barometer of what is happening around me. I pick up a ton of information, not all of which is helpful to me. This part is very emotional and feeling-oriented.  It involves believing the impossible sometimes.  I just know what I know. It seriously pisses off the other part.

I am realizing that many of my experiences in life have had the purpose of finding balance for my two sides. When Foxy the wonderdog was very ill (her story is in this blog), I was furious at the veterinarians for not hearing any of the psychic information I was getting of what Foxy needed. They didn’t hear me when I got info that might have been illogical, but true. She sure looked like she was dying at that time, but everything I “heard” was that she would be just fine.

I’ve had many, many clients that had their animals misdiagnosed by veterinarians because things appeared one way, but were another,or they even refused to see the obvious or to look closer, and psychically I picked up information that saved those animals’ lives. There’s that balance again.

And yet, I’ve met healers who thought their beliefs and spiritual healing would save and heal their illnesses when they ignored medical science that was truly needed at the time. It’s like trying to treat schizophrenia or bipolar disease with only a past life regression. Or diabetes with Reiki healing alone. Without insulin, that body support, how can you survive?

When I wrote the Fairy School, I went into the experience as more of a scientist exploring hands-on how I felt making and working with flower essences and Nature. I read all I could, researched and learned the science, and then I blended my psychic impressions and learnings. I was bit in the butt several times when I went too much in one direction, not researching proper information on the how-to’s of making essences, more noticably, making essences from poisonous plants.

I am convinced that most veterinary schools need to offer classes in animal communication. Most psychic training needs to includes a psychology foundation. There needs to be that balance to be fully prepared and effectual. Without one or the other, it’s just missing pieces in the full puzzle.

Seeing Things · sensitivity · Spirits · spiritual lessons

Did you know Mediums are from the devil?

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A few weeks back I was informed by my father-in-law in my estranged family, that God hated mediums and this is quoted clearly in the bible. At the time, Bill was trying to relay a message I had received from a fellow medium at a workshop I took part in from his brother. The goal was to allay his Dad’s fears and give comfort by providing some answers. Instead, the man attacked the messenger.

I think about most sensitive children who notice the elephant in the room and are punished for it. This was my role most of my life. (I remember distinctly a time when I informed my mother that a guest was mad and upset when I was told this was incorrect. My mother was repeatedly embarassed by my observations, which always turned out accurate.) It’s not easy “seeing” what others don’t want you to see. But I do know that God made me this way. I’ve seen the gift as it is when I help others in their paths and brought clarity, the times I’ve saved animals’ lives with missing pieces of important information, and brought comforting messages from loved ones who weren’t really lost afterall. No, I am not serving the devil or talking to bad spirits like on television. Real, healthy good has come out of these gifts. My God is all about unconditional love and what I aspire to be one day. My God loves me and knows who I am with no judgement, and sees my gifts as what he/she gave me to help humanity.

Most sensitives grew up unaccepted for being different. It hurts when the unacceptance is not for your beliefs, but an attack on who you are. That is always about the other person’s failings–their own inner spaces they don’t want to see. (And their walls to loving).

Long ago, I had a dream that I was selling balloons to blind people, and I was pretending to be like them, blind as well. I can’t do that anymore. I will share my gifts with those who want to see and therefore, who I can assist. They are the ready ones. The rest will have different teachers, and many are not loving. And as for the unacceptance, I no longer want or need support that doesn’t accept me–all of the pieces that make up me.

sensitivity · spiritual lessons

What if there is no map?

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I have a recurring anxiety dream. It usually looks like me on stage and expecting to perform without knowing the lines and having the script. I have a long history of enjoying being on the stage performing, so it only makes sense my mind would use this metaphor image to get the anxiety message across. Being unprepared is a common lament for sensitive people. I read somewhere that introverts need plenty of preparation and time before they “perform” out in the world.

Many of my friends and family are finding themselves thrown into the world without the benefit of a script or map. Lives are turned upside down, people are dying and leaving the planet, and foundations are crumbling. What was up is down, and vice versa.

My Guides had given me the message that the world has lost its shield while at the same time, we are all evolving and changing at such a fast rate and the foundations are breaking down, it’s amazing we all don’t have vertigo!

So, what if the rules are all changing?

I remember long ago how I used to work. Set goals, create a vision, and then climb that mountain. I’d “make” it happen. Well, I thought I did. I usually fell short when I did this method. There was usually a lot of headaches and a great deal of pushing. Now that things are changing so fast, we are forced to live moment to moment.

The other day I had the most success simply following my inner guidance…you guessed it, moment to moment. I found myself among friends, giving readings in a situation I had no idea I would be doing, creating real positive change for the folks in front of me. Now, I didn’t blindly jump into this. That morning I said some prayers asking for community, for folks I could help so I could use my gifts, and to feel that deep appreciation. The day was a win-win and an immediate answer to a prayer. I just listened after asking, and then did the actions I felt really pulled to do. Miraculously, there was no pushing, just a great deal of trust to just jump onto the stage.

It’s hard to change. It’s hard to switch a dynamic of how you do things. It feels a bit like always writing with my right hand, and now I need to use my left. I feel awkward and fumbly. I’ll probably resort to using my right hand when I feel most uncomfortable, my handwriting may even change, but hopefully, I will get used to the new way of doing things.

Next time: What the wrong direction feels like.

new thinking · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Grabbing Backwards so you don’t move forward

designingfairy

Moving forward is scary. Bursting through that comfort zone isn’t always what we want to do. This weekend I had a down day. My energy was knee deep in the past and I was feeling downright awful.

Once again, Sarah, my beagle mix, was my teacher. Last night for the first time in a long time, she was pacing the hallways and not listening to me and reverting to old behaviors. This is how she was when we lived at the other house and when life was filled with chaos. What a great picture she gave me to see my own energy reflected back. I even had the nerve to get mad at Sarah and yelled at her!

The problem was not that I wasn’t moving forward, but I finally was. I had moved past boulders of childhood and current stuff and was coming to the end of understanding so much. I even had realized what this new Ronni wanted in her life. That’s when fear stepped in. With fear, I tend to grab on mentally and rework and analyze things to pieces, whatever I can grab onto. This usually involves pouring over notebooks and writing. I do believe that is what I did the other day.

I think this is a normal part of the process for most of us. We grab onto “backwards” when we find ourselves moving forwards quickly into an unknown. It must be a human thing.

So I ask myself what I am truly needing instead of chastising myself. A new concept! I need to grieve, yes. That’s part of the process. Looking at the past, I can still hold on to what worked or what was dear, but then I get very lost in the pain and what didn’t. I think I need to find a way to soften the moving forward so I feel safe. In meditation I saw myself like Alice in Wonderland after she takes the “eat me” or was it, “drink me.” She grows so big she is cramped into a tiny hallway  and finally her limbs burst through the windows of the house. Being that big can be a bit scary. Change is scary. Losing what was support and foundation is scary. Can in this moment I make a safe nest among the change?

I immediately think of  Speedy, my tortoise. When I let him out in the morning, I watch as he zooms around the house confidently exploring all that he can. He’s so brave as he conquers obstacles in the way like dog tails and shoes. But when he feels scared or threatened, he pops his head in or finds a corner to hide for a little while. In his tank, he heads for his little turtle tunnel to hide under. I need to create a safe corner or tunnel for in between my explorations into this new world. Maybe that is what all the ruminating about the past is about–popping my head into the past because it’s comfortable and known. It’s an unsuccessful attempt to have a stop in my movement.

Today I will explore a healthier safe corner to pop my head into instead.