A fairy funny on my view of what I think of perfectionism, new flower essence, and ronni’s psychic tip. Sign up to read! Newsletter subscribers get great discounts on classes!
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Been a few weird weeks lately psychically. Since I journal a great deal, I decided to share some of my observations that I wrote down.
How about you? What are your observations?
My pansies were doing good until the high heat we’ve been having hit, so I put them in the backyard shade. This Pansy feels very uplifting and since most pansies are for healing the heart, this one is uplifting my mood! I don’t feel the deep clearing that I did when I worked with the purple pansy essence I made.
The Rosa Mundis (Candi Rose) are doing well this year. They smell so sweet. These flowers are great for getting my imagination and creativity flowing. I made an essence of them last year.
The sweet yellow tea roses are covering their bushes with blooms. I made an essence of one yesterday which is now in research mode. I can tell the flower’s healing pattern is for confidence and self-esteem because I felt the effects right away even during the process of making the essence.
Love the red roses climbing up the wall. This rose (Red Rose) is great for healing addictive thinking–that brain on the hamster wheel feeling. I made an essence of it last year. There’s less of the blooms this year. I wonder if I need it less?
I love the smell of these roses (Hot Pink Rose) that are so large they could be on steroids! There are so many this year, I must really need them. This essence is so great for discouragement and lost hope.
Why, what’s this found in the garden? Doesn’t look like a flower. No, that’s my office assistant, Emma Lou Bangles, taking a coffee break.
I have some news roses to make essences out of this year. Like most roses, they feel very uplifting and high in vibration. These feel like they affect my mood in a good way, like sunshine.
The Lupine that surprised me has made an interesting flower essence. It’s still in research, but its healing pattern embodies self-reliance and strength even if living in an arid or non-supportive environment.
These beautiful flowers are teachers and healers, and most likely, will become flower essences. They will also become models for my deck and other cards.
Incidently, all the essences are available on my site here.
I am so deeply grateful for my animal “children.” They are so loyal, loving, understanding and kind. They have healed my heart.
I had a light bulb moment this morning.
One of the reasons why I left my church, was for me, there wasn’t enough meat. I had graduated, and needed more answers to my many spiritual questions. I was frustrated and aggravated for months and months by the simple “everything is love” and “just love everyone and see their higher self” philosophies. Yes, these statements are true but it didn’t answer anything for me. It throws a lot of things under the rug. If you are an abusive jerk who is running over my boundaries and I just “see your higher self and love you” that usually translates into more boundary invasion and more abuse, because even if I am putting up boundaries, and being nice and loving, someone like that is going to like the challenge of seeing how he can bash right through those boundaries. This more simple line of thinking is a surface spirituality that ignores the many layers, including what’s thrown under the rug.
This experience had me thinking about psychic protection and what I’ve been teaching. Putting a white bubble around me for protection is nice and sweet, but as an empath, I can still become amazingly sponge-y and open anyway and take in a ton that isn’t mine. That bubble won’t do crap for me if: I don’t know I’m taking something on and am feeling awful; don’t realize I’m taking something on because someone else’s stuff is triggering mine; or a whole bunch of other reasons.
Basically, I determined that we need to tackle the psychological and intellectual stuff underneath our reactions to be fully protected. That’s why my book has so many instances we need different tools for, because it is isn’t a simple thing of putting up a white bubble. A white bubble forms an intention to create a strong boundary around you. You’re putting a STRONG line in the sand that says, “I don’t want this dark stuff near me.” That’s why it works. Your will is loud and clear. As empaths, our major work is creating those very strong boundaries to protect ourselves. The problem is we came in with very thin or little boundaries so we can read the energies around us. It’s a gift really, to be able to do that when we can control it, and there’s BALANCE, which is then a tightrope to walk. I still have days I even curse my sensitivity and get tired of always having to do this much work to keep that balance, but I think it’s a harder world to walk when you are so unaware of any energies at all.
We also need to clear out the beliefs in the way taught to us that prevent us from creating strong boundaries, which for me would include that I have to be nice and loving to everyone around me, which would make the church’s stance counterproductive to what is best for me.
Perhaps, then, the white bubble is a beginner’s technique and folks learn where they are at. And as we go further along this path, deeper and deeper, we are going to need more advanced learning and tools. There’s no judgement, just different levels to drop down into, but just like in school, if I am ready for sixth grade, I’m not going to stay back in third grade for those around me.
And for now, when I empathically carrying something that isn’t mine, I need to go in and ask why. Was it as simple as I was super-open and tired and then I walked into Walmart to buy milk and just got slimed with negative stuff stuck in the air? Or, did I pick up on sadness and I wasn’t acknowledging the sadness I was already feeling before I stepped into the store so it triggered mine? Or even yet, was I still corded and deeply connected to a sad friend who I just talked to on the phone and a part of my energy wanted to reach out and help her? If I see all the energy around me as information, it is all a story to help me better understand myself. It’s not a mean world that I need protection from because it’s trying to hurt me. In a way, it’s strengthening me and my will, and helping me grow.
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This essay is from my ASC300: Empath Skills class.
This week I explore my non-negotiables.
What’s a non-negotiable? I’ve been learning from my backyard. When I rented my Fairy Castle, it was the yard that I fell in love with. I dig roses and there’s quite a few, including the kind that smell really good. This backyard is like a little park I can sit in with my Emma Lou and swing back and forth as we admire the beauty.
When I water the plants, I watch their little leaves reach upwards in a smile. When I forget, in the inhospitable Arizona heat, I will find leaden leaves and a definite frown. It’s simple, but I am those plants. When I nurture and feed me, I pump up with color. I’m a shiny, happy thing. When I forget to water me, well…
But here’s the thing. I’ve taken in through my adult life some seriously faulty beliefs–that messed-up perception I talked about in my last post. It’s taken awhile and lots of work, but I am seeing those beliefs that include:
only when I make enough money will I deserve to have some rest
only when I give what others want will I have support
only when I work 80 hours a week and show I’m responsible will I get a pat on the head and what I need
Yuck!!! I am seeing that none of these beliefs work for me. I am sure you have some ONLYs in your brain swirling around. These need to be pulled! And in their place, I plant my non-negotiables.
In order to thrive as a Ronni plant, I need those non-negotiables. Having this yard and visiting Indian Gardens frequently I realize with certainty I MUST have constant interaction with Nature. It’s not lazy or irresponsible to take time out in Nature. On the contrary, I find it’s productive: I’m balanced and less emotional or reactive to other people’s stuff when I have time in the yard or the forest. It also feeds my creativity and my curiosity, which becomes many classes and books.
And in my usual, creative, visual fashion, I’ve been creating a chart to keep track of my non-negotiables (each drawn into a circle) as they come along. (To see it, Go Subscribe to My Newsletter.)
If I follow this line of thought, I also look at what waters me and what doesn’t. Translated, this means, what supports me and what doesn’t? Where do I feel SEEN, HEARD, SUPPORTED and APPRECIATED? Where do I feel ignored and forgotten, unimportant, or even poisoned? Let’s not focus on those weeds, just pull em’ out!
What are your non-negotiables and where do you feel watered?
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I am convinced that all of life is like one giant reading. In a reading, we interpret information that comes through that is usually symbolic in nature. Even the animals will communicate in metaphors or pictures when they describe physical ailments. Once you learn this new language, you realize your whole world around you is giving you metaphors and SPIRIT CLUES. That’s pretty wild.
I was dealing with an issue with a loved one I needed clarity on, and kept getting PHYSICAL CLUES or images plopped into my environment. I went to put the garbage out and there was a catcher mitt directly in front of my house in the middle of the road. My attention drew me twice to the movie 17 Again when I was shopping in two separate stores. I was being reminded that this loved one’s issues were all deprived from his younger trauma.
My girls will metaphorically clear things out for me through their odd illnesses. When Sarah had a yucky, anal gland infection, that seemed to come out of nowhere, all this tar-like OLD STUFF was clearing out of her. At the time, I was doing the same.
My illnesses will always seem bizarre and out of place when they happen, but are almost always metaphors for what I am clearing out or need to clear out at the time. When I had a broken blood vessel break in my eye recently, I was surprised by its suddenness. Its appearance made no sense. The eye doctor said that it just happens. Yeah, right! Not with this body. I was clearing out what was my father’s vision or perception that I was carrying around for years. Before that, I was doing a great deal of work on myself in that area and the last big thing to happen was that eye, weird thing. It’s like the body gave one big push out of the leftover stuff. (Interesting…almost like a reverse birth).
Of course, interpretation is for the reader. What a baseball mitt means to a friend may be very different for you. And when it’s just one clue it may just be an ordinary baseball mitt. It’s best to look at the total picture of all the clues together to have insight on the pattern or issue you are dealing with right now. Your spiritual clues are usually an answer to a question you made before the clues showed up.
First rose sighting in my yard! Isn’t she a beauty?
Did you see that shiny thing?
I get distracted easily. As a sensitive person, I tend to get swept away with the tide around me and lose focus. As a creative person, I can get have way too many ideas and want to do them TODAY.
I wrote about this in my book, but I had this lesson reinforced the other day.
In Yogalates class, we bend our bodies into many balancing poses. There’s one pose that contorts my body into a tree, which I really like. I had one leg bent at the knee and my arms outstretched into my swaying leaves. I found myself checking on the other students to see how they were doing and sure enough, that was my downfall. I fell over. Poor tree. I got myself back into the pose and focused on the floor in front of me and centered on my own tree. I felt my branches reaching to the sky, my legs, um, trunk, strong. I could have stood there for hours! I felt like no wind or storm could knock me down!
After being a tree, my thoughts churned over how I often start my day with lots of goals and get lost. I get pulled by all the threads around me. The internet is the worst. I love my Facebook buddies, but I can get caught up into the loop for hours. Everything is so fast and there’s so much coming at me that is interesting. There goes my goals.
Knowing I have this tendency, I have to fight the pull to very shiny things. They distract me from my own gold. The answer is to re-center, however I can do this. Unfortunately, that means a little less time on Facebook and more time sitting in Nature so I can hear myself. It’s funny how Nature is filled with beauty and shininess but I am pushed more into myself then scattered. It must be the radio dial to CALM vs. Facebook’s dial to EXCITE.
Another tool I am finding that is helping me center and focus is setting goals. I’m reading a great book on receiving that I will probably share later. I like the goal setting idea because know that when I do center, I can be very focused and can easily accomplish what I want. Having goals, keeps the focus on what I want, rather than get pulled by everyone else’s wants.
If Nature isn’t doing the trick, I can always reach for flower essences to help give me that edge and extra support. I like SOAP TREE YUCCA for focusing, and Desert Willow helps me stand tall. SQUASH helps me be strong in sticking to what I need.
The biggest tool is knowing that I can get easily thrown off and to try and limit what I take in. Too much coming in will look like overwhelm in my system, and I will appear “flighty” and scattered when I am really just caught up in the tornado around me.
Be strong trees, Sensitives!
Ronni's Psychic Room 