Category: Empath skills

being sensitive · empath mentoring · Empath skills · empaths

10 Things to Do if Moon Madness Hits You

designingfairy

moonstone

It’s Moon Madness. Lunar Eclipse wildness and Planetary fun. What to do when the crazy energies hit you? How about this…

  1. Dance around naked in the moonlight! (Only recommended if you have a closed-in backyard from the neighbors).
  2. Dance around in the moonlight in the forest. (There’s a naked theme going here).
  3. Ground. This is an important one. When there’s lots of crazy energies about, it’s easy to float up and out. This manifests as forgetfulness, spaciness and fuzzy brain. Do what you can to get deep into that body of yours. (I know, I know, it’s more fun to float around the cosmos). Think dirt, your feet, or exercise.
  4. Make a moon madness goal collage. Cut out pics of the moon and what you want to accomplish.
  5. Take photos of the moon and express yourself.
  6. Watch a video of the eclipse on the internet. Cool, huh?
  7. Check out this Lunar Crafts projects on Pinterest. Personally, I like the Moon Crater Art Project.
  8. Stay away from other people until it passes. I recommend a cave somewhere warm. With art supplies and junk food. Maybe with your animals.
  9. Dive down deep and do some real soul searching. The moon can amplify feelings. Why not go in there and learn?
  10. And number ten, write a story about what life on the moon is like. Is the moon really made of cheese? Or are there moon people living deep inside underground? Design a whole way of moon life on paper.

Happy Mooning! Okay, that doesn’t sound right. You get the idea.

Fairy blessings,

designingfairysig

 

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Or sign up for an animal communication mentorship? That’s a moon goal. Also, really cool, really new empath mentorships. I am setting up October and November mentorships right now.

being sensitive · empath · empath class · empath mentoring · Empath skills · empaths

Sensitive, Empathic or Celery?

designingfairy

celery

Not everyone that is sensitive is empathic. Not all folks that are sensitive are highly sensitive. And some, are celery. I realized this a few months back when I met a bunch of folks all at once who were sensitive (I tend to draw in lots of sensitive people, I’m guessing because like attracts like, or perhaps, because I wrote a book on it), but not all were empathic, or even highly sensitive. You can be one that is very feeling-sensitive, meaning, your feelings are easily hurt, but you don’t have a clue what someone else is feeling. Some folks don’t even care, and then fall into the Insensitive category.

Sensitive Empathic.

A sensitive empathic person, who I like to write about it here on the blog, is one that is not only sensitive to the environment, energy or feelings, but who is also empathetic to others’ feelings. This type of person can feel what others are feeling as if those feelings are their own. They are great at reading others, and tuning into a room and knowing what “radio dial” of emotion that room is set at, and have the habit of picking up lots of stuff that isn’t their own.

Sensitive.

A sensitive person is one that can have their feelings easily hurt, may feel some things deeply and others things not so deeply, can understand other people sometimes, but may not be empathic in anyway, or tuned in to intuition, or that spiritual connection or energy. Some sensitive people can be very un-empathic with others’ feelings because they fall more in the celery category, and it can be very confusing to other sensitive people, who assume because someone is sensitive, they are also tuned into the feelings of others.

Highly Sensitive.

I just love Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person. She talks of the special class of folks that are Sensitive Empaths who are, you guessed it, also highly sensitive. Not a freak of Nature, but I think, more of an evolution, these sensitive have bodies that are wired to pick up all kinds of energies and frequencies, that many can not. They process and take in a great deal at one time.

Celery.

Celery are not bad or good, and no judgement by the way, I just chose the word Celery because it came to mind, and I think I’m hungry. (Yeah, now that I think of it, I’m craving a big salad). Celery folks are not sensitive or empathic. They are the thick-skinned which most the time stuff, just bounces off their backs. They are the opposite of the empathic and are here for balance,  and the empaths are here to balance them. We need the folks that are not empathic at all and can live in a world that pretty much just includes their feelings and that’s it. To the empath, this would be like a vacation! And the Celery need desperately to learn how to be more empathic and consider others’ feelings too. The Celery are often extroverts that are able to have a bubble around them that is just their world.

The Insensitive.

We can all have our moments when we are insensitive, especially times when we are too involved in our own stuff to think of others, or when we are so overloaded that we just shut down and off (common in the highly sensitive or sensitive empathic). No one is immune to this dilemma. But then there are the category of folks that are just insensitive and mean. I tend to believe that deep, deep down, these folks are very sensitive and have big walls up to protect themselves that have harden to clay and now they don’t feel not much at all. It is best to avoid the insensitive and remind yourself, it is not your job to melt their clay, nor can you.

So, which are you? Have you met the different degrees of sensitivity? Do you recognize any of these in yourself or others?

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**Hey, I just posted October classes for the Sensitive. Registration is open now. Hop on over to see HERE.

being sensitive · care of sensitive teleclass · empath · empath mentoring · Empath skills · empaths

Thoughts from a Sensitive #1

designingfairy

We need to hear our tribe.

I receive a great deal of notes from readers saying that my book or a blog post I wrote helped them feel more self-acceptance and less alone. That got me thinking. We just need to hear our tribe. When we gather and share, we do feel less alone. We feel belonging. And then realize we have many of the same thoughts and feelings. We aren’t folks with two heads. So, here’s my first share from one of my re-tooled classes, Care of the Sensitive Workshop (starts September 26th). Have you felt this way? (feel free to share)

thoughtsofsensitive1

being sensitive · empath · empath class · empath mentoring · Empath skills · fairy lessons · psychic ability

Reading energy and the movies

designingfairy

Continuing with the Preview Week and Open House at Fairy & Empath Online School, the following is from THE EMPATH SKILLS CLASS, which starts September 26th. This week only, Subscribers sign up for class and get Care of the Sensitive Workshop 1 FREE or Better Boundaries of the Sensitive audio class.

Reading Energy and the Movies

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We read the energy of the animal or spirit we communicate with. But, do you realize that whenever you pick up a magazine, you are bombarded with subliminal messages and energies? What a great gift it is that you have the ability to read energy and pick it up before it reaches you.

For instance, picking up the latest fashion women’s magazine, GLAMOUR, I notice there are lots of articles and photos thrown at me that are expecting me to look a certain way. There’s Do’s and Don’ts for dressing, ads with skinny and tall models, and clothing outfits they want me to buy and wear. If I walk away from reading it feeling awful and insecure, it was because I didn’t recognize the subtle energies coming at me, and that the radio dial or frequency was set to “Perfected Appearance.” On the other hand, if I pick up OPRAH magazine, I feel uplifted and hopeful, even educated. This magazine is set to HOPE or EMPOWERMENT, so I walk away positively influenced.

Naming it is a great way to separate out what is sent at you before it becomes yours.

I love movies and belong to Netflix. I can’t wait to run out to the mailbox each day and receive my little red envelope with my movie. I’ve watched a great deal of movies and television series in the last year, fine-tuning my ability to discern what shows are best for me and what ones bring me down.

I recently rented a compilation DVD of ghost-hunting movies and shows. I like Ghost Hunters which is a show where a team of ghost hunters go into homes to help solve their ghost mysteries. Their intent is to help, and although spooky things happen, the show doesn’t usually upset me. I felt awful watching the collection though. I could feel a little nauseous, anxious and uncomfortable. That night, I didn’t want to turn the lights out to go to sleep! The show’s radio dial was set to FEAR, which in my body, registered as anxiety. When my dial went to fear, all of my fears were nudged up to the surface. Not something I wanted or was helpful to me.

Now it’s your turn to go to the movies.

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Go sign up today here.

Subscribers, look for special coupon in the mail today!

being sensitive · empath · empath class · Empath skills · empaths · psychic tools · sensitivity

Empath Skills Class

designingfairy

sensitiveempathad

 

Here’s the LINK.

being sensitive · empath · Empath skills · empaths · sensitivity

How to overload a sensitive

designingfairy4 Comments

rosecrazy

Sensitive folks overload easily. The cause is not because we are delicate or weak. We are just wired to pick up all the layers of information at once. This means we pick up the subtle nuances most miss, like the sound of the doves singing outside the window, or that a friend is cranky even though she hasn’t said or showed any indication. On the flip side of this is we can take in all that information and fry our brains and emotions when it gets way too much (picture the heads exploding like in that old horror movie, Scanners. Yup, not a pretty picture and of course, not literal.) You can be pretty sure a sensitive has gone into overload when they show signs of shutdown which include a blank look, anxiety/nervousness, spaced-out feeling, or signs of insecurity. Symptoms look different in each sensitive. And what every sensitive wants is to be understood and known. So non-sensitives, LEARN THESE. And sensitives, share this list with your non-sensitives.

The Top 10 Ways to Overload a Sensitive

(and to be loving and kind to your sensitive AVOID these):

1. Push.

This warning label (“do not push”) should come with every sensitive born into this world. Pushing does not motivate a sensitive. It forces the automatic shut down valve to go off. Pushing only speeds up the “take in-sort through-digest” process making overwhelm happen faster because there’s no time to digest. It also just really pisses us off.

2. Load a ton of responsibility on our shoulders, be sure to not acknowledge or appreciate what we are already doing, and then add more. 

That one speaks for itself, but I must say, as a tribe, sensitive folk are usually over-responsible and will take on a great deal as it is.

3. Increase sensory input.

Add very loud music we can’t control, or let in a swarm of flies in the room that can’t be caught. I am a tolerant person but when my neighbor plays country music on full throttle until 2 a.m., I’m going to get a little out of balance.

4. Expect a day of constant stimulation out of us.

Start the day early by taking us out for the day shopping, then stop at a crowded restaurant, go sight-seeing, and then dancing all night with a ton of noise and people. Just see what happens. Observe. Be sure to not include any breaks or alone time.

5. Add any illness to the day and then introduce either 1/, 2/, or 3/. Heck, even 4/.

Add llness or even a woman’s “time of the month,” and we are down for the count. Then all the sensory input and noise just swoops right in because our thin walls are way down. It’s a little like having the radio on several channels at once.

6. Add a crowd. 

I still write about the Willie Nelson concert I went to that had a line wrapped around the casino to get into, then I was surrounded by a huge stadium-filled crowd screaming. Thank goodness it was outside because a crowd packed into a room with no walls? Oh fun.

7. Increase time pressure.

This one goes along with the “pushing” category. Sensitive folk like to flow in the zone moving to their own rhythms. We are great with deadlines but we need to control how we get there. I watch Project Runway and each episode when the designers get closer to presenting their creations, we can feel their tension through the screen. Let us control our rhythm.

8. Layer on the emotional sad stories. 

We can sometimes overload from reading the Facebook feed of sad stories everyone is feeling. We feel compassion when our friends are going through rough times. Our hearts can jump out of our chests and MERGE. Our empathy is our superpower and it can be unbalanced at times when it’s multiplied.

9. Give us too much change at once. 

We like our change in smaller steps; a little like slowly entering the pool rather then diving right in. We get in there, it just takes a little longer.

10. Add too many little technical things that don’t work.

I am sure this one matches everyone not just sensitive folk. Have a day where the bank screws up your account, or your computer doesn’t respond, or there’s a glitch in Photoshop and you lost all your data, and we will get rather testy. THEN add any two from the above list and we frazzle up quite good.

So, be kind to a sensitive today. Understand what creates overload and what makes life work swimmingly well for your sensitive friend. And for goodness sake, never ever say, “You need to toughen up instead!” That’s like being short and being told to be tall! Say that and you will see a different kind of overload.

Fairy blessings,

designingfairysig

being sensitive · empath · Empath skills · empaths · empowering women · film reviews

A Sensitive Goes to the Movies: Two Scary Ones

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popcorn4

 

Have you recently gone to the movies (or rented on Netflix) and thought, “Dear Lord, why didn’t you warn me!” Yes, me too. So I thought, why not start a bi-monthly report here at The Designing Fairy, to warn my fellow sensitives and save them a ton of therapy.

This week’s selections: Bates Motel and The Awakening

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photo credit: Netflix
  • Netflix description: “Everyone knows what happened in Psycho, but this chilling series takes viewers inside Norman Bates‘ world before Marion Crane checked in.”
  • Warnings posted: The show is listed under “scary and dark.” My gut should have alerted me since it’s not a happy bunny kind of subject.
  • My warning: Don’t watch the Pilot. If you are a sensitive, you will need years of therapy to process the senseless violence you just witnessed for the sake of entertainment. *Spoiler alert* there’s a rape scene halfway through that can’t be stomached, and I do understand the writer’s motive including it to show the breakdown of the psychological state of Norman’s mom, but c’mon! The character committing the act was cartoonish, one-sided aggression/craziness and the act portrayed and showed in the movie, just out and out horrible. I can’t tell you if the rest of the Pilot was worse or better as I pretty much stop watching at that point and had to fill my mind up with happy things like dancing bunnies and happy wagging tails. (Several episodes of Adventureland seemed to help)
  • Sensitive consensus: I talked to my friends on FB who all agreed that they also stopped watching after the senseless violence.

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photo credit: Netflix
  • Netflix description: “A haunted boarding school calls on Florence Cathcart, who disproves hoaxes for a living. But the strange place leads Cathcart to question rationality.”
  • Warnings posted: It is listed as a horror movie and categorized as “chilling and suspenseful.”
  • My warning: This was a really interesting plot for a ghost story and very clever. Many, in the reviews I read, compared it to The Others, which haunted you psychologically way after watching it.  The scary element isn’t too bad more like lots of “boo” moments. No visions that will stick in your mind until more toward the climax of the movie is a scene of sexual violence that matched Bates Motel. The character culprit was useless to the plot, the moment contradicted the story as the main character was rather powerful and strong, and viewers did not enjoy watching her helpless, at least I sure didn’t. I did enjoy the movie up until that point, and it was so distasteful it was like hearing someone write on a chalkboard with their nails.

What’s with it, Hollywood? A movie nowadays isn’t complete without violence to women? Rethink your writing. Then we all wonder why politics takes our rights away out from under us. As for you my fellow sensitives, stay away from these two and for scary, stick to old episodes of Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Until next time, Fairy blessings,

designingfairysig

being sensitive · Empath skills · empaths · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

If you need a good cry…

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I am one that will hold on tight to my emotions in order to stay in strength, but sometimes, I need some releasing of the dam to maintain balance or mine erupts. Because I’m not a crier easily, I need to jump-start the process. Perhaps, you are the same. Here are my top Crying Resources to allow me to have a good cry, release, and be back in balance. Drum roll please.

Top 5 Crying-starting Resources:

  1. Watch the finales of any competition reality show. I just watched Robert win Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge (spoiler alert) and the tears flowed in happiness for the guy. It’s wonderful watching someone’s hard work pay off and dream come true. This is a good cathartic cry that is unchallenging and doesn’t push too many buttons. 
  2. Watch more television. Last night I watched a marathon of Pretty Little Liars and witnessed the usually perfectly-attired and made-up actresses fall apart by wearing mis-matched clothing and minimal makeup while their sanity and lives fell apart. I cried along with them in unison but this cry brought up pass pain to release, and should be monitored to avoid going down roads that are unhelpful and unnecessary to the therapeutic process.
  3. I read an article today in the Facebook Feed about a local puppy that is in the hospital after being thrown from a car window. This was an ugly, torturous cry. I felt so deeply for this baby and anger for those who hurt it, and a deep sadness for the state of humanity. This is a tough cry that should only be tackled on courageous days you can handle it, otherwise, to be avoided. 
  4. Sappy feel-good movies such as Field of Dreams are perfect for feeling better about life in general and experiencing a really healthy cry. Best antidote after reading Facebook feed puppy stories. Look for movies that you know will end happy. We don’t want surprise twist endings here. AVOID movies like the current one in the theaters where everyone is dying. The Titantic is about a sinking ship. You know that one won’t fare well. Use your common sense here.
  5. There are good spontaneous cries when someone gives you a hug when you need it, or says something so perfect that you feel seen and validated. These cries can’t be arranged, but fall under really good release cries. Increase these any time you can.

Well, there’s my recommendations. What’s yours? Or, are you the type of crier who needs no help?

being sensitive · empath · Empath skills · empaths · sensitivity

Are empaths affected by the moon?

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caterpillar

empaths

Today’s word is FUSSY. My clothes feel constricting, lights are too bright, and things can’t be fast enough today.

As empaths and sensitives, we know we are very affected by the energies surrounding us. We know when the air is too cold, or someone’s mood has just hit fiery before he realizes it, or when the overall mood theme for the day on Facebook is FRANTIC. Like little caterpillars we feel out the environment with our exposed feelers.

So if we have a full moon happening, and especially a lunar eclipse, do we feel the effects of that energy?

Years and years ago, there was a lunar eclipse followed by a solar eclipse, and my body went haywire. I was releasing a ton and have all kinds of weird symptoms, but was it the planetary action or what I was experiencing in my life at the time?

As women, our bodies are tuned into the moon through our cycles. And many who are not longer experiencing cycles still feel the effect of the moon. If the moon is more feminine then both male and female can relate when it is speaking, right?

I looked to the experts for my answers. The astrologers talk of this upcoming lunar eclipse and the many changes that will affect us.

Magical Recipes Online talks about the Druid Willow Moon.  That name in itself sounds so imaginative and magical!

My friend Julia talks about the astrological overall themes we are feeling right now during this moon phase.

Several metaphysical astrology sites talk of huge emotional impacts this lunar eclipse will have. Hmmmmmm.

  • According to NBC news, full moons can give us restless sleep. Link is over here.
  • And over at this Australian news site, full moons and eclipses can cause mood swings. Feel like howling at the moon?
  • Wikipedia coins the phrase “lunar effect” and says there is even a “lunar lunacy.” Nice! Now we have an excuse to go a little crazy.

As sensitives and empaths, we can swing past the research and go right to how we feel in this moment. I know when there is a full moon I do have a hard time sleeping, partly because the moon is shining so brightly into my window, and being so sensitive, I can feel it. I like a dark room when I sleep.

Perhaps we are picking up all the beliefs about the moon, and that collective unconscious is affecting what we think, influencing our thoughts. Regardless, I am fussy. I am restless. And I have this overwhelming urge to dance under the moonlight, ditch these restrictive clothes, and howl. Please don’t tell my neighbors. Now I have an excuse for my craziness. I have Lunar Lunacy. 😉

Check out my Help! I’m Sensitive book series here on the site.

being sensitive · empath · Empath skills · empaths

Understanding Empathy and Letting Go

designingfairy10 Comments

bun bun

From FIELD OF DREAMS: “Ease his pain.”

Like many of you, I wake up in the morning, fresh from dreaming, bringing back some kind of message or understanding. The lesson downloaded into my brain this morning was about empathy.

What is empathy anyway? Most of us would define it as feeling what another person is feeling, relating, and being able to step into their shoes. You feel the sadness and relate when someone posts on Facebook about saying goodbye the last time to their beloved dog. Your heart hurts for them. You feel when your friend is sick and want to make her better. You watch the devastation on television of those who have lost their homes in a tornado and your gut aches for what they are going through.

There is different levels of empathy–how much it is turned on. When I was in high school, I remember feeling so much pain in middle school that I learned feeling was a not a safe thing. I shut that part of me off. I stayed on the surface. It wasn’t gone; it came out in stomach aches.

There are folks who are very extroverted who only feel their own space and don’t always feel the space of others. They have empathy, it’s in there, they are just more focused inward.

There are folks who read this blog who are Empaths. We feel everything. The empathy button is on so strong it can be overwhelming and debilitating. We feel times a hundred. That’s why sometimes it shuts off and we numb over or we couldn’t function.

There are many closet sensitives out there who appear un-feeling who are really our fellow brethren who felt way too much at some time and were seriously hurt, and so they can’t feel anymore. It isn’t safe to.

Then there are folks out there who have no empathy. They came in for special purposes, some of them, and perhaps, feelings would get in the way of that mission. They don’t feel when you are hurt. They don’t see how their actions affect others. They don’t hurt when others hurt because they don’t know how. The parts of the brain that feels that is broken. They live a different life. Do we have empathy for them? Maybe we can just understand what’s missing and see them differently.

I watch empathy in my dogs. If I am crying, they can feel my sadness, and will rush over and try to comfort me. It goes beyond instinct.

In my life right now, I am being asked to live at a deeper level of empathy, to put my feelings aside, for what is best for another. My little family lost a member the other day. Bun-Bun, my parakeet of almost nine years died suddenly. Before she died she had communicated very strongly that she missed Prosperity who had crossed over in September. She loved us but her body was starting to slow down and her heart ached for her companion. I’m being asked to look beyond my selfishness of wanting her to be here–to hear her beautiful little song-y chit chat throughout my day and having her companionship–and to honor her wishes. In this situation, I need to step into her spirit feet, feel her happiness and joy now of being reunited, and honor what she wanted and what is best for her first. It’s here where my empathy is a gift I can give her.