What most people don’t realize is that after major loss, when you think most of it is over and done, the anniversary dates will rehash it all over again. Sometimes it will sneak up on you.
Every year I have a very hard time in early May. Even though my Mother has since been gone for fifteen years, and even though she has made frequent astral visits, I still feel grief overcome me like a wave around the 5th and 6th of the month from not having a Mom HERE.
I have a trauma anniversary date coming up when my life exploded. These kinds of anniversaries bring up all kinds of nonsense to clear out, and frequent, “Oh, man, I thought I dealt with that.”
If you have lost a loved one, whether a human or furry one, the anniversary date will bring up that loss even if you are too busy that day to notice. Is there something unfinished besides the usual grief? Is there still work to do?
In my own life, I am finding, that I needed new resources–the support I didn’t have when I was going through everything (this excludes my dear, wonderful friends who were amazing). I didn’t know there were actual groups and support people who had dealt with parenting highly-destructive and cruel RAD kids. There was after-support? Validation of what I had lived through might help clean up the leftover grief.
Maybe you went through a long illness with your animal and have that leftover grief. Had to take care of an aging parent? Lost a home through foreclosure? Is there a group of folks that have gone through the same thing that you can talk with? Only someone who had lived through it could really truly understand what you went through. You need a witness.
I am amazed when I look around at the friends and family around me at what life has thrown at everyone. It’s been very hard time for all. But maybe we are all healing major, major stuff, and this is the one way to do it. I have no idea why we all agreed to contract to do this. I still think we were all high and loopy in heaven before we came in!
And remember support is just that. It supports you and helps you stand. Any support that causes you to feel worse or be thrown backwards, is not true support.
I’ve been watching a fun tv series called Reaper. The premise of the show is a young man’s parents sell his soul to the devil. On his 21st birthday the devil shows up with an assignment: his new job is to retrieve bad souls on earth and send them back to hell.
It’s been a cleverly written show with some witty moments, and the theme of good vs. evil covers every episode. The message? In every moment we can decide if we go the higher or the lower road.
I didn’t realize that watching that show would be a percursor to something in my own life. Lately I’m seriously questioning what happens when the Bad is allowed to get away with it and still go on to hurt other people? Where’s God in that situation? Is there a Devil or a Satan as my estranged father-in-law believes? Or is there just sick and unhealthy people who don’t know any better? They are just so disconnected from the light.
My friend Caroline believes that today the good are growing lighter/stronger, and the bad are growing darker and darker. The two sides of the coin need to be there for balance.
Is that why the bad is allowed to continue to be so destructive? Or does it karmically even out in the end like the other movie I watched, The Lovely Bones? What do you believe?
I’m down with a nasty bug so I have lots of time to reflect, which isn’t always a good thing. Sometimes when I am in a bad state I tend to grab for what isn’t good for me, like junk food or bad movies.
Long ago, when my family was in one piece, we’d watch the show Angel together. Not so much feeling nostalgic last night, but without my Netflix selection, I grabbed for the dvd’s I had.
I was surprised by my first thought. How the hell did I watch this show? Hell, being the accurate word. There was enormous amount of violence, darkness, weird stuff. All of which I am sure is good television watching, but I felt it. I mean, really felt it. My sensitivity has so increased, or maybe I was so numb in my life to the negative at the time that this was nothing. After one episode I felt intense fear in life where there should be none. As an empath, I was negatively influenced.
On hindsight, I think I grabbed for that show to purge some of that fear and leftover bad stuff, and that is a way to use a more controlled and thought-out empathy. The whole episode was about things you trusted looking one way but were completely different inside. (Cordy was the evil Master but no one knew, and Angel was the evil Angeles). Later that night I did have one “hell” of a nightmare that cleared all that out.
It’s having that awareness–how is the show you are watching affecting your sensitivity? When you are attracted to a show what are you purging, dealing with, that needs to come out? The key is what are you resonating with or turned off by? What really hits you?
I think today I will reach out to my feel-good Racing Stripes movie or The Rookie to counteract last night’s purge, and I will be much more aware of what I am drawn to in my selections. There’s guidance there.
A little aside to this post: turns out the dream I had after watching the show was a premonition of information. It was a warning about disturbing news I received the next day.
Everyone has them. The things that drive you crazy. It’s the little things that in themselves, are not that big a deal but combined can make a bad day.
Here’s my Top 15 Pet Peeves:
A Regular Meeting Place
You can create a regular meeting place for your own animals or to visit friends’ animals in your meditation state, or you can imagine and visualize one before you go to sleep. When we sleep, we are crossing dimensions and joining our dream bodies and souls.
– Here’s a little excerpt from the Animal Mediumship online class. Want to learn how to talk to animals that have crossed over? To sign up go here.
I’ve been creating this line of cards with empowering sayings lately. I then came across a blog with very un-empowering words and I thought, how much of us have been pelted with these kinds of comments in our lives? You know what I am talking about…words that bring you to the knees into shame.
So, here’s my Sayings for Greeting cards We Never Want to Read. Ever.
Okay, now that you feel like total poo, don’t EVER believe any of that.
Here’s something to raise your spirits where they belong.
It’s a beagle riding a bird. Can’t be cuter than that. Smiling, eh?
(* Have any more beauties to share you’ve been pelted with? Unleash their power here in the comments).
A good reminder for myself and you, the reader, today. Postcard available at my Etsy shop. Print also available by request.
Hello dear readers. I hope you like my new look here at Ronni’s Psychic Room. Take a look around, grab some virtual popcorn and enjoy the site and changes. A few of the changes:
Next month: my 11th year anniversary doing readings. There will be a readathon and new workshops. Stay tuned.
How many of us were not seen as children? Our parents were too busy with their own stuff to really see our talents, our gifts, or who we are. Maybe they had a tough life and were protecting us by thinking we needed to be something else. Some of us were lucky and had that blessing and may be thriving now with that support. But what if you’ve never felt that?
I wrote a book awhile back of children’s stories. One of them was called “The Hair Dog.” In the story, from a day of miracles a dog is made from a pile of dog hair. He spends most of the story quite invisible to his newfound family and maybe even a nuisance, until one day he meets the rest of his kind where he’s truly seen and appreciated. (See the book here.) At the time I wrote it I didn’t know it was coming from a deeper place inside of me. I just had a whimsical story to tell.
The other night I watched one of my favorite movies, Avatar. There’s the romantic love scene when Jake says, “I see you” to Neytiri. We’re blown away by this moment, and can literally feel the deep love he has for her pop off the screen. In healing circles we say “Namaste.” You acknowledge the light/soul you see in another. Empaths see the world at a deeper level. Once we get past our own sh*t, we are able to really see another and the love can feel intense. We see their light in spite of all the other “stuff” in the way. We may even want to run away from it, but we still feel it. Then we get frustrated and upset when they can’t really see us because of their stuff that gets in the way. We’ve been there, we know. You just hope they can get to the other side of it.
Emma Lou, my basset girl, is great at being seen. I could have used her talents growing up. She makes an entrance into the room and if you are too busy to see her, she firmly yet gently pushes your arm and hand onto her back. She knows and is unembarassed by needing to be seen.
I thought recently why I went into the work of animal communication. One of the big reasons was I felt the animals didn’t have a voice. They weren’t seen! I felt huge satisfaction when I could translate the animal’s needs and its life transformed positively.
Bottom line, I think that is what we are all looking for. We want to be deeply loved, honored and seen for who we are, and have it be more than enough. Not that is should be embellished, or changed, or molded, or be something else to please, or to have to compete with anyone else, but to bask in the feeling that we are, just as we are, bright little stars.
Maybe it is as simple as finally being seen by ourselves. Seeing how deeply special each one of us is.
Namaste dear reader.
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