being sensitive · empath · empaths

Help for the Holidays excerpt

This is a crazy time for a sensitive person. The energy out there alone is a little on the wonky side. So, here’s a little tip from my eBook, Help for the Holidays if you are Sensitive. 

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Need the ebook? Here’s a link.

being sensitive · empath · empath mentoring · Empath skills · empaths · sensitivity · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

The wrong direction — how do you know?

wrongway

December is a wrap-up time. It’s a time of looking at the year you’ve just gone through and sizing up and determining which way to go next. How do you do that with all the choices and opportunities? It can be overwhelming. As someone who is very empathic, I have a built-in radar system that I often curse at and ignore, which, I should be making friends with.

What’s this radar, you ask?

How I feel, especially in my body.

Now I can be slow in the intake, but the situation is improving. The time between getting upset/having an emotional or physical reaction and figuring out that I am upset has shortened. Gone is the time when I’d feel horrible for several days, even weeks, and not know why, because I am now finally noticing with the help of this tool which I will now share with you.

I was faced with a decision over the weekend when an opportunity presented itself. It sounded good and glossy and enticing, but the rest of the day THE MOOD hit. Now, sometimes THE MOOD is one of those empathic “picking up someone else’s shit and I’m carrying around not realizing it is not mine and yet I’m feeling it” kind of moods. I tuned in, and asked this time around, and got a NO from my body that this wasn’t the case.

I explored THE MOOD. I am not a big time fan of this time of year, so there was a little of that melancholy thrown in that I acknowledged. Having experienced many losses this year, I knew that grief was lingering around and was part of what I was feeling. A good cry was needed which I indulged in by watching a sappy movie, but THE MOOD persisted. What was going on?!

A big thank you to my good friends who helped me realize that I was considering go down the wrong way by possibly accepting the opportunity I was presented with. My body was letting me know that opportunity was not aligned with me! It was the wrong fit. Yes, logical mind had a ton of reasons why this choice was a good one. I’d get out of my comfort zone, tackle doing things I wasn’t good at but could be good at. I’d meet new people, and the choice would eventually lead to the direction I wanted to go, maybe. Logical mind is very good at molding me and squooshing me into boxes. But I am a soul that likes to break out of boxes. Body, on the other hand, has a direct line to my inner, empathic radar. It just reacts and lets me know: “Ronni, what the f(*%K are you doing, Girl?” Unlike logical mind, the body knows the simple answers to these questions: will this choice really make me happy? Is this a JOYFUL choice for me? Is it right for me?

We have all had experiences in our lives where we made a choice from logical mind because it looked really good on paper. How did those work out for you? Looking back, I haven’t had one that did.

Thank God and my body for THE MOOD that day. It quickly went away when I acknowledged I was compromising and heading in the wrong direction. (Another good clue). Further insight, and I realized that choice actually would have had me going backwards, not forward. (And that was a really good insight).

So look at your ‘symptoms’ differently today. That stomach ache you keep getting around a certain relative? Don’t curse it, understand what it’s saying. That persistant cold you have every Monday morning you have to go to work? Listen. When THE MOOD hits, don’t berate yourself for being too emotional. And when we bitch and complain we have no guidance and are abandoned, look again in your own backyard! Literally, your own backyard. Your body as your backyard? Get it? Oh, never mind. Just pay attention.

Oh, and incidentally, sometimes the body is saying YES to something that seems totally crazy and illogical, but is a fabulous great decision or the right road to pursue. I felt that way adopting my newest dog family member and going back to school. I’m so glad I listened.

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Be sure to check out my book Help! I’m Sensitive and new book on animal communication, Speak Woof and Meow. And for further tips and tools for being sensitive, sign up for the January session of the EMPATH SKILLS ONLINE CLASS. And one more, keep your eyes on the lookout for my new book, YOUR TURTLE SHELL.

being sensitive · fairies

For my fellow fairy friends

Fellow fairy girl Lindsey Stirling is amazing. Share a little light wherever you can, wherever you are.

being sensitive

TOOL: Music Diet for the Holiday Season

It’s super easy to get thrown off your individual “radio channel” this holiday season. The stores are filled with crazy people in irritable moods. There’s a ton to pick up if you are sensitive around this time of year. Best and quickest way to get back to yourself? MUSIC! Now, the right music is different for everyone. But I found the following selections instantly put me back into a happy, up space to clear away the slime and grime, and I can hear myself again. Enjoy!

Holiday Menu:

This one will make even holiday music tolerable (for those who have had enough from the stores):

Celtic Woman: I was lucky enough to see them in person. Angelic:

Local Anthony Mazzella has some pretty amazing music:

And finally, Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban. Bring out the hankies.

What’s your recommendations?

being sensitive · empath

Oops, off-center again & a solution

Has this happened to you?

I’m surfing the web, confused over a business issue looking for answers. Next thing, I’m pulled over to this really cool, shiny facebook page about moon cycles that I just need to check out. I’m pulled again in another direction with a new seminar that just came up that looks good. Then the girls want to go out and need me to open the door again. Back to the web, I’m now bitching how I have no clue what I’m doing with my biz or what direction I’m going in and singing that song again. Until…

A friend likes a post I just wrote, which leads to the Thriving Artist Summit. I hadn’t even started screaming at my guidance how I never get any help when this thing shows up. I start listening to an audio on marketing and the expert Nikolas Allen says it simply, “What do you do? Who is it for? Who does it benefit?” Hearing those words, I am now back in my own chair and own body again. Well, I know that! I want what I create to teach and help people!

What happened? Why did I get so thrown off? I’m sure it’s an empathic thing too. I picked up on a lot of confusion around me. I picked up a lot of messages from people selling insisting I needed their help and I must not know what I am wanting. I have a lot of childhood messages in there too that have to be thrown out that get triggered.

My favorite passage in Help! I’m Sensitive is about being thrown off in a yoga class. When I focused on those around me, and in this case, Facebook feed, I got thrown off balance. What I needed to do was come back to MY center and then I was clear. As an empath, it’s a HABIT to embody other people’s feelings and point of view to understand them. It’s the matter of going back to my own this time around. Shutting off the world for a little bit and asking myself the important questions. “What do I love to do?” “Why do I do it?” “And who do I want to assist?”

Ah, CENTER. And now I can even do Tree Pose really well.

whimsical illustration

Over at Tumblr we’re talking Tutus

tutuuse copy

Over at my STORY STUDIO tumblr page, we’re talking TUTUs and loving and embracing our womanly hips. Check it out here.

And in honor of Tutus, I’ve developed a Pinterest page of Tutus Love you can see here.

lessons from the fairy · storytelling · whimsical illustration · writing

50 Days of Learning and Inspiration

50days

An introduction to my story studio of creative marketing and teaching ideas. 50 days of sharing on my Tumblr sketchbook over here. Follow my blog!

spiritual lessons · whimsical illustration

Just float

JustFloat

ghosts

Haunted Houses and the neighbor across the street

hauntedhouse

I know it’s the day after Halloween, but I still have haunting on my mind.

I’m convinced the house across the street is haunted.

Let’s look at the facts. Since I’ve lived in my home, about three years or more, no one has stayed in that house for more than four months. There is a constant turnover with moving vans coming and going. Sometimes there is a playground set in the front yard, and other times, the swings are dismantled. There is always the landlord coming through cleaning up the yard, throwing out garbage in large quantities into a dumpster in between inhabitants. Something is scaring them away.

Haunted houses fascinate me. I went googling this morning on the subject and found some fun links for you to visit.

8 Haunted Houses in New Orleans That Will Scare Your Pants Off (Road trip!)

Here’s a list of haunted places in Arizona

My favorite haunted house as a kid: The Haunted Mansion

Hands-down my favorite link, How to Buy or Sell a Haunted House

Have any haunted house stories?

being sensitive · empath · empath class · Empath skills · healing · sensitivity

Being sensitive and people overload

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I haven’t blogged for awhile and I apologize, dear readers. I’ve been busy with Designing Fairy Cinema and writing my next book; not to mention adjusting to Giant Puppy’s needs. (Okay, I just mentioned it.) Actually, she’s been really good.

I wanted to write about overwhelm, which is one of the biggest issues sensitive folks encounter. I thought, why not write about the topic when I’m feeling the least overwhelmed? I’ve pretty much had gotten so used to that frantic state I miss the adrenaline rush. Back last year and half of this year I was dealing with taking care of an incontinent elderly beagle, Grad School classes, my business, and a part time job. I was stuck in the fast lane to get everything done and pretty much lived on sugar to keep my natural humming bird energy up. I loved the classes and I miss Sarah, but I’m starting to adjust to enjoy the calm, natural energy.

It’s easy to overwhelm when you are sensitive. We take in so much information at once at a deep level that it’s easy to tip that balance in the red. And if you are in a vulnerable space emotionally, it’s really easy to blow your fuse.

I remember a few years back going to an outdoor concert with a friend. I took one look at the huge crowded line in front of me and almost blew a gasket right there. My breathing quickened, and I forgot about my feet. The line was moving at a caterpillar pace to the ticket booth. We weren’t even in the stadium and I could feel panic rising. We made it in and there were lines of chairs on the lawn in front of the stage and bleachers everywhere. Thank goodness the stadium was outside otherwise I’d have felt trapped.

I asked my friend if we could sit in an aisle so I wasn’t sandwiched in and he didn’t understand and ignored my request.  I needed some air  and psychic space around me. More and more people took the seats surrounding us. I couldn’t breathe. What made things worse, was the performer wasn’t on time! So the waiting went on and on with me stuck like a sardine. This was too many damn people! All this energy around me. I could feel hopes, dreams, thoughts, issues. Yeah, sure I put up some protection, visualized a couple bubbles. But that was a lot of people.  I could even shame myself for not being able to stand firm against all these energies. Yeah, that’s realistic.

Once the concert finally started I was in better shape. Focusing on something fun really blocks out the noise. I sang, I tried to dance in my chair, but I still felt boxed in.

And then even my friend started to crowd me. My friend wanted to go in the casino afterwards. Hey, why not? Let’s see if Ronni can blow a fuse in public and explode in little pieces all over the flashing little light machines. Thank goodness for my body. I got a migraine that tried to push out all those visiting energies. I had to go home. I tried to explain, but I wasn’t being heard, so I stormed out.

grrr

Is there something wrong with me for not enjoying that? Shouldn’t I toughen up? Heck no! Part of being deliciously sensitive, is knowing yourself. If you were allergic to peanuts, would you scream and tell yourself that you needed to toughen up? No! You’d frickin’ avoid those peanuts at all costs. If I were put into that situation again, I’d do a few self care things:

  • I’d sit in aisle seat. Maybe even find an area that had lots of space around it. I’d try to make those needs met.
  • I’d allow myself to take lots of breaks where there weren’t so many people. Maybe take a few bathroom breaks. Take a breather outside the stadium if necessary.
  • I’d find a new friend to go with. Sorry, but my friends need to know me and listen to what I need to do for self care, whatever that’s about or is.
  • I’d bring ear plugs. I’d still hear the music but it would drown out the high noise.
  • I did take flower essences at the time but I think I’d need some really strong ones for protection and calm. Probably grab for Rescue Remedy.
  • It would be okay to “small” it down. What does that mean? It’s like that pie in my freezer right now. I could have some of it. I don’t have to eat the whole thing at once. I could watch half the concert if I wanted, which would be enough to enjoy, but not too much to overwhelm.

Overload happens not just in crowded situations. I can feel crowded by other people. If I have a lot of demands coming at me, I will try to please everyone around me, make them happy, do a good job, and then I can overload on that pushing energy. I will take on way more than I should.

I remember teaching book illustrating with a fellow artist at a Montessori school. The kids were so lovely, creative and open-eyed. I fell in love with them. But those teacher hours are slightly insane. There was rarely a break away from the energies of these kids who each individually demanded a great deal of attention, which I was trying to give. I hadn’t learned at that point how to know my limits and regulate my energy. I would come home at the end of the day either bursting into tears or having signs of physical overwhelm.

Now keep in mind, being sensitive doesn’t mean I can’t handle a lot or am “delicate.” That’s super important to point out. Honey, I’m stronger than most people I know. Ask my closest friends.  The amount of stuff I can handle emotionally far outweighs my physical sensitivity.

There’s nothing wrong with us. No, we shouldn’t be living in bubbles. We are what we are. We’ve got that fine-tuned nervous system brilliant for some things (and amazing gifts that come with that sensitivity, that you will notice the non-sensitive flock to for answers) but it just comes with some special care  instructions.

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A little note about upcoming classes. I will only be offering the core classes this November. The Empath Skills class now comes with a little yummy twist (a mini reading). Check out and sign up for it here. If you want to be informed about the upcoming books in the Sensitive series, do subscribe to this site (sign-up found in the right sidebar).