Nasty fairy moment

21 Apr

I’m experiencing a nasty fairy moment. It could be the half a garlic bread I just scarfed down, or that I overslept this morning and had an amazing dream and had to wake up, or maybe just hormones. Nasty fairy moments are when I am not all positive, happy, and spiritual. Sometimes, they can feel good. After all, that is a lot of pressure to always be positive, happy and spiritual, right? Maybe I need nasty fairy moments.

Nasty fairy moments often include nasty feelings like envy, hostility, negativity, and just plain bitchiness. There’s often a high degree of self pity thrown in there. I’ll say things to myself like, “No one cares.” “Why try, it won’t make a difference.” “I’ve failed before.” These even feel prickly and icky.

I hate the thoughts the most and some can be quite cutting ones that surprise me. I would guess that although I’m mostly fairy, I am in a human body. 🙂

Way, way back, I had a design client from hell. No, really. As soon as she approached me, I had a bad feeling. I knew we’d have control battles when we fought over where we should meet. When I visited her home, she was highly specific about how close to the curb I should park. Needless to say, I did NOT follow my inner guidance at the time. In a very nasty confrontation, she told me I was not who I portrayed myself to be. I was a nasty fairy! And that’s when I discovered that part of me.

I look back at this moment, and now I chuckle. I am by far not lighthearted all the time, like you would think fairies would be. I have Scorpio in my Moon, so I am rather serious and intense in my emotions. I live life down into the layers. I have to work at the lighthearted thing. (Ironically, though, it must be in there, because most of my artwork is rather fun and whimsical.). So I always thought it funny that the Fairies had found me. But then, I look at my work with Nature like a little scientist diving in and trying to understand and learn, and mostly, discover. I would imagine, the Fairies aren’t always lighthearted all the time themselves. And I would guess, there are quite a few who are nasty little fairies at times.

(Of note, I was recently told I was the epitomy of joy. Okay, okay, my true soul is probably rather silly and maybe even joyful. I do have to admit.)

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