New! HELP! I’M SENSITIVE ebook now available in paper and via snail mail too. For those who still need something tangible in their hands. Same great tools in another form.
Cute fun size
Buy the paper version: Paper coil-binded and printed version pocketbook (5.5″ x 4.25″) size, with shipping $23.99: Buy here.
Have you ever noticed that your spiritual lessons seem to revolve around different themes? Like, one week what you are learning is all about Setting Boundaries. Another, about Tolerance or Dealing with Annoyances (had that one last week). This week, for me, seems to be about Breaking Free from Boxes.
Usually what gets us reeling and pushing our buttons with others is what theme we are working on. One of my pet peeves is Ignorance, probably because being a teacher is so ingrained in me as a mission, that when others don’t want to learn a new way of being or doing things, my frustration level goes up. I’ve been dealing with outdated systems, which on some level, we all are. I watch Egypt throw out the old that didn’t work with loud protests and see change happen before them. And yet, I see credit card and financial organizations not working with the new economy or the change that is needed. And our government, well, you know.
Years ago, as a former child parent, my biggest frustration was dealing with a system that helped kids that was so forced into its little box that it didn’t cater to the individual–one size fits all. And guess what? Not everyone fits into that box! There’s lots of variations and some kids even throw the box out of the water demanding new solutions.
(My dear friend is dealing with this in the health-care system.)
When I was finally free from that system and situation, I wanted to go back to school to learn how to find solutions how to change and retool all those systems that didn’t work, like that clinic, an outdated model that doesn’t work for all the children or the parents. But I am realizing now on the other side of the fence, that the solution is to educate one person at a time to make change. And the secret is to reach those who want to learn and change, otherwise it’s useless outpouring of energy. (That, readers, was a big lesson for me to learn.)
I guess that’s why I like shows like HOUSE and other detective programs because the cases they see don’t fit into any box, so the detectives and doctors have to stretch their minds and find new solutions. What a concept! Make change? Develop new systems based on new needs? Educate and update your staff on new illnesses and treatments? Really?
I saw this the other day shopping at a local store. One patron complained she never ventured further then her small town and considered Sedona far, far away city. We live maybe 40 minutes away? There’s a whole world out there! Break out of the box!
I saw that in numerous local veterinarians in the past who didn’t even know the latest life-saving treatments for kidney disease.
I do realize though, that boxes keep us safe. What we don’t know can be scary. In the little box, you know what the walls look like.
Seeing this in big systems around me forced me to also look at my own thinking, and finding where my beliefs are out-dated and keep me very boxed in. I discovered this usually shows itself in black and white thinking–do or die, this or that. What a bunch of crap! There’s gray in my choices. This is a big realization for me. I don’t have to get rid of eating sugar, I just need to be balanced in my eating. I don’t have to get rid of people in my life, I just need to create some boundaries in some areas or retool or evolve the relationship based on new needs. There’s only a problem, when, like the big systems, that belief, area or person can’t, or refuses to change.
Do you relate to this? Where are you stuck in the box?
It’s too cold! Today has been a great day to snuggle up to my girls, make some warm foods, and read and learn. It’s the perfect time of year for that. And coincidently, (great segue in, don’t you think?) the e-book I’ve spent over a year compiling, living and writing, will be ready tomorrow and I can’t contain my excitement. I love how our tough experiences in the end can benefit others if we share what we have learned.
Help! I’m Sensitive! 50 Tools to help you thrive and survive is located in the bookstore here at this site. Official announcements for the book come out tomorrow, but I couldn’t contain myself.
I’ve learned valuable techniques to help with my sensitivity including techniques like Mouse Theory and Psychic Vampires, filling in holes, turtle shell, changing aura pictures, dealing with other people throwing their fears at you, taking care of the number one need for empaths, why panic attacks can happen in malls, and much more. I’ve included my favorite entries here from my blog and included a great deal of tools from my arsenal given to me by my helpful team of Guides in the past year.
You can order the book now here today and start empowering yourself right away and have warm reading material for those cold nights.
From an empath’s perspective, the energies are pretty wonky this week. Everyone is in transition now or in big change and then the weather is mirroring us. I just found out that the college I’ve worked for is having a huge 78% cutback in funding! So, we are seeing the biggest change in the money sector. I can hear groans from the audience.
Energy-wise I can feel excitement like the first- day-of-school kind. I can definitely feel big changes happening all around. And I feel the Guides/Angels creating more protection for each of us. I feel them pulling in closer to offer guidance, contrary to some folks I’ve heard saying they are pulling away to have us be more independent. I don’t get that at all.
I’m not feeling the bursts of anger or nastiness I felt before in the public. It feels more like surrender, which isn’t always a bad thing. The true miracles happen when that happens.
So, when there is no stability and ground to count on, what do you do?
I asked my Guides for suggestions and was reminded about the butterflies. If we are caterpillars, it looks like the world is going to end soon, and we feel stuck in our cocoons and dark, and squooshed in too tight. We can’t see past it. But we are simply in the process right before we become butterflies and the world as we see it changes its form.
Maybe the world is morphing to fit our new forms. It doesn’t look pretty. If you look at the decline or the falling apart, you are looking at the caterpillar’s crumbling cocoon, not the future beauty of the butterfly.
I like that. We are just morphing into something amazing.
Yesterday I visited Bill at his place and took him out to lunch for his birthday. On the way back, we stopped off at the Prescott humane society to say HI to the dogs. This is always a dangerous thing, emotionally and because we can’t have more dogs at this time. Iit’s hard not to bring someone, actually, everyone home. Some dogs are fine with their plight, others break your heart with their overwhelming sadness and confusion, and some just make the best of the situation.
The shelter has many mazes of hallways where the dogs are kept. We wandered about greeting each dog, letting them sniff our hands and lending counsel to some. After a while, the hallways felt like the house of mirrors ride at the amusement park, leaving me a little dizzy. We headed down one hallway and saw an unusual sight. Bill was on it immediately throwing his hands in the air and laughing. It took me longer to take in the scene, probably from the confusion of the hallways. There in front of us was a white dog of indiscriminate breed wearing a head cone. The part of his head not coned-in was submerged in a large knocked-over box overflowing with big dog biscuits. There were biscuits on the floor everywhere and he seemed quite pleased with himself, chewing away. My mood of sadness and helplessness quickly turned to wild laughter.
What a great message that whatever your situation, stop to find or knock over the joy and sieze the opportunity to feel it!
After we grabbed for a not-too-pleased shelter worker the poor dog was dragged back into his cage. She explained that he probably used his cone to flip the handle on the door and escape. He used his condition!
We went by his cage and he was clearly pouting. We took him away from nirvana. I’d be pretty pissed also.
When you are sensitive, you can feel someone else’s mood a mile away, and it affects you like it would the smell of bad perfume. I learned an important lesson yesterday I wanted to share about setting boundaries and bad moods.
I took a detour yesterday and went to a different post office then my cozy, friendly one. I had to send a package via Customs and waited patiently in line. I had a few more packages fumbling under my arm that had to go to the States.
When I made my way to the Teller I felt it: Bad mood.
She looked at my package and told me curtly that it needed a Customs form. She talked to me like I was a moron and I was purposely insulting her. She then threw the form at me with no directions and brushed me away. Thinking logically, I asked her if I could just pay for the other packages and then fill out the form and she said no twice. That wasn’t how it was done.
The form came in a little booklet with lots of pages and made very little sense when you are in a hurry. I filled out the end form thinking that was the procedure and went back in line to face her again. This time I had the growing sensation of insecurity building up inside of me. “Was I stupid?” I stopped my train of thought quickly and sized up the situation. No, this woman had a “everyone is a moron but me” attitude going that I did not appreciate and it was affecting how I felt. I almost took it on.
Back in front of her, I lost my temper when she chastised me for only filling out the last form, without realizing that it was a duplicate and I should have filled out the first form.
“How the hell would I know that?” I snapped at her. I had been virally affected by her bad mood, and now I was hostile and on the defensive.
I walked away back to the desk to fill out the form “right.” That’s when the aha moment arrived. Eureka! I could walk away. I could take my stuff and go to another post office or even wait for another teller in line. I mumbled this out loud. I didn’t have to put up with her bad treatment or the bad mood she was flinging at others! I also didn’t have to get involved with defending myself or confronting her and showing her what she was doing. That wasn’t my job.
That’s when the Universe rewarded me immediately for my new lesson learned. The woman was so riled she walked into the back and was replaced by another teller who now was about to serve me.
This woman fawned over my cute little drawn mailing labels and stickers and complimented me. We chit-chatted about making art and how much we loved the process, and she told me about her art. When the transaction was completed, she said “Nice meeting you.”
This was a 180 degree turn around from what I had just experienced! I told the world what I wanted and what I didn’t want. And I threw what wasn’t mine back at the person and basically said, “Here. This isn’t mine, it’s yours.” I won’t put up with bad treatment.
Now I do understand that working at the post office is a very stressful job. My husband worked there for years and told me the counter was the hardest job of all. And I am always trying to understand where the other person is coming from and have compassion. But the teller expected defiance, rudeness, ignorance, and received it, by being rude! Her foul treatment passed along to me, and if I had owned her mood, caught that contagion, I would surely have passed it to many others throughout the day like a bad cold.
See it, just say No, and Yes to what you do want.
Being both creative and a sensitive means I am highly imaginative, maybe even a hint of dramatic, and I overwhelm easily.
As a sensitive empath, I can get overwhelmed psychically. I already take in so much information on a deep level every day. Too much chaos around me equals chaos inside of me. I easily take on a great deal that isn’t mine.*
As a creative, I always have 3000 ideas for projects running around in my head. That is a very cool thing if I was three people in one.
The big guidance I am getting is to create baby steps so I don’t overwhelm and freak myself out. Here’s an example.
It’s time to make big changes in my life health-wise. I am completely addicted to sugar to keep up my hummingbird-like energy. So, I see the mountain ahead of me. Since I like climbing mountains I start to plan. I will get rid of all sugar in the house. I will substitute with healthy alternatives. I won’t buy dessert at dinner at the restaurant. Yeah. Right. This will last for about 5 minutes before the panic sets in and I will finish that box of leftover Christmas cookies. I’ve just raised the bar so much that I won’t succeed.
It’s Monday and the new year so it’s time now to do all my business goals right now. I will start my whole way of doing things in a new way all today. In fact, this week I will manifest my new publisher and create the full proposal and finish my healing deck. I will be completely organized with my scheduling. I will create ten new doors to opportunity…
PANIC. Where’s the cookies?
Baby steps make more sense. Even if you realized you need a new job, new career, new anything, you will still get there one step after another. There is no reason to overwhelm, or put that much pressure on yourself unless you are one of those overachieving, motivating speakers who seem to have superpowers or a good supply of amphetamines. (I doubt highly these folks are empaths.) For sensitive and creative people who tend towards this behavior, remember that change needs to happen slowly and steadily. What we really fear is the drastic and that’s not what we want to create. We’ve had enough of that kind of change in the past year, why hurt ourselves?
As a child, I was always going against my own rhythms and following others’ that didn’t fit me. I may be more of the tortoise than the hare, but I get where I need to go. I love Nature because Winter isn’t rushed so there’s Spring. There’s time for everything. There’s steps.
What’s your next baby step?
*I’m completing my Tips for the Sensitive Ebook that provides all those juicy tools on how to balance out your sensitivity.
I just had a birthday. I was guided to make a personal birthday manifesto. This long list would be culled from clues from my many journals that I keep track of my life in.
my current journal
It is here where I decide what to get rid of in my life and what I shall keep in the coming year. And sensitives and empaths, you may very well relate to my list. Consider writing one of your own to end out your year.
Include in your manifesto:
Here’s examples from my Manifesto. I have to have to be happy and what I won’t give up:
What I will give up:
Regrets for the past years:
Writing a year-end manifesto can make some powerful changes as you shape what you want your world to be like. It also can help you stay more in-tuned to what you want, which for most empaths, is hard to do. We are wired to be in-tuned to those around us and our environment first.
(Excerpt from Tips for the Sensitive ebook. Now available by pre-order here.)
If you catch me doing any of these, please give me a nice pat on the hand as a reminder.
As healers of the world, we want to take care of everything and everyone and make it better. But sometimes, we neglect to take care of ourselves. We think that makes us good people and good healers. We are so selfless. Look at Mother Teresa! She gave up all conveniences and even nice fashion just to dedicate herself to help others. There’s too much giving out and not enough receiving. I’m noticing this syndrome lately in myself, my loved ones, and even in other healers.
The first symptom you are deep in the syndrome? Resentment. You’ll hear that inner little voice saying, “Hey, what about me?” It’s not selfish to consider yourself in the equation. In fact, the word “selfish” needs to leave the dictionary for healer types. There needs to be balance and we are too on the other end of the spectrum! I am learning that the Universe isn’t withholding all that I need, I’m just replaying my childhood learned syndrome.
Other symptoms of this dreaded disease:
So, how do you get heal the syndrome?
Be “selfish” for a little while. Take really good care of yourself. Draw a bath. Read your favorite book. Reward yourself now. Be there for yourself like you would a friend. Believe in yourself and your talents & see yourself, even though others might not have.
And get angry! Your needs do need to be met! It’s not entitlement or because you are more special than anyone else. It’s that you are just as special as everyone else and deserve the same good things in life. What you were taught early on was the Mother Teresa syndrome.
There’s only one Mother Teresa and it works for her, not for anyone else.
To read more posts visit my new website’s Sensitive Artist blog here. and do check out my Help! I’m Sensitive book series there.
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