Tag: spiritual lessons

Animal Communication · Animals · empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

The Used Car Salesman Personality

designingfairy

Yesterday, I received a phonecall at 8 a.m. from a salesman from a web hosting company. He was perky and happy, and I was cranky and still hadn’t had breakfast. Immediately I felt his energy as if I was getting caught up in a strong wave in the ocean–I was deep under, pressured, and overwhelmed. He asked me a great deal of questions so I didn’t have space or time to even squeak in a “not interested.” He must have been looking down at a list of notes when he said, “So, you have just the one website? Fairyonlineschool.com?” I played dumb. I had over 6 months ago dissolved that website and morphed it into this one. “Sure,” I said, but I was deeply irritated. He hadn’t done the least bit of research on my company to see what I needed and what my company was about.

“Wouldn’t you love to have a company go over your site and make sure you have the right key words, etc.?” Now, I hate all that left brain marketing stuff. (Yes, some of it is necessary.) It may work for some companies, but I explained, “I have a very niche business with a specific audience and I seem to be reaching them. I need to do more of what I’ve been doing.”

“Yes, of course…” He went on and on not hearing me.

This pissed me off more. Here I am in a business that specializes in hearing people and even hearing the layers underneath of people, and all I could feel was that used car salesman mentality: he just wanted to make the sale and get the car off the lot. Who cares if a month ahead I’d find that the radiator leaks and the starter sucks and I’m miserable with the car?

I’ve met this personality before outside of business, and I’m sure you have,  and it’s irritating and upsetting. The question that comes to mind is, “where are my needs even in this picture?!” As empaths, we are so used to feeling others’ needs and wanting to help and please, maybe we even forget we have any needs in the first place! The salesman comes along to give you a gentle or not so gentle reminder: Oops, I forgot my needs again! Oh man, again? So focused on others, we get lost in the pleasing tornado. We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance. We will buy that lemon car and be resentful and pissy for months, or even years.

We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance.

The antidote is to know and state your needs, instead of ignoring them, or do what I do, which is whine and be bitchy when my needs are forgotten along the line. I suggest using what I call the EMMA LOU METHOD. Now there’s the Sedona Method and a bunch of others, but this one really works. When Emma Lou, my basset hound, has a need and wants to get her need met she:

a. puts her head in my hands gently to instigate a petting when she needs it

b. jumps up and sits on my lap when she needs attention

c. is naughty and steals food to get my attention

I don’t recommend the aggressive “c” tactic as it’s almost as bad and aggressive as the used car salesman technique. Tactic “a” is a nice one that simply states I need this and it’s up to you if you can give it to me or not. This is a great way to make your needs known while respecting others’ needs. Most humans can not use tactic “b” as it falls under the category of “awkward.”

Try it out. See how it works for you. I’m sure I will come up with a workshop and a best-selling book on the method, and then I will surely need an aggressive used-car salesman personality to sell it for me. Your phone may be ringing soon.

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To read more posts visit my new website’s Sensitive Artist blog here. and do check out my Help! I’m Sensitive book series there.

fairies · spiritual lessons · women's issues

Getting it right

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The following is from the my new class, Fairy Healing the Feminine, that starts on Friday. Sign-ups still happening so rush on over to reserve your space.


We share as a country, a universal need to “get it right.” We watch television programs, such as American Idol, that judge our performances and lavish praise only after we “get it right,” and it is someone else’s version of right. On the other side of this belief is our desperate need for approval, but when it’s never right we never receive what we need. We are still expecting someone else to deliver it to us. Because at that glorious wished-for moment, when we are told we’ve gotten it just right, our shoulders release, our body sighs, and pride fills our empty container. Without this we are still waiting, always on the Tarmac, never taking flight.

The answer to healing our shared belief is to forego waiting and reward our efforts now. It is the new female energy coming in to finally help us claim our prize. Balancing our need to be, this soft gentle voice tells us we already are. Yes, we may not have dotted all our “I”s, and maybe we’ve made mistakes and might have done things “wrong,” but who cares. We are learning and that’s good, because that’s why we are here, after all. It’s the voice of compassion–new to some of us. The Great Mother, who tells us it will all be all right; we’ve done our best. This voice is more concerned with the journey and how we feel. Just once when I watch American Idol I want to hear the judge say, “Yes you sang badly, but did you have fun?”

Fight this old thoughtform with its worn-out jagged edges. You will never get it right, nor are you supposed to. You are meant to learn and learn you do. And soon you will one day wake up smiling, because rather than focusing on checking off all the rules, you will remember instead to enjoy—really deep down enjoy—the journey, and for that, you will have accomplished something real. You will know what it feels like to have true pride and self-approval.

spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

We Are Healing Core Stuff: What I am Learning

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What I Am Learning:

What we are all dealing with now, whether some aware or not, is our core beliefs (that old childhood poo) to heal and clear. What that means is we are all going to be pushing each other’s buttons. This can look like:

— Why did you say THAT? You insensitive clod.

— Why do I always have stomach aches, or headaches and colds? Or fill in the blank.

— Why does this pattern always happen to me, and here it is happening again and in a huge way!

The good news is when things are really at the head of clearing and healing, it looks and feels the worse. If you can just ride that rollercoaster one last time, it will heal when those big insights start to spill out to understanding.

I believe strongly that healing is not going around it, avoiding it, or being fake spiritual about it. I have found in my own life, you just can’t rush to compassion and forgiveness. Or healing.  There’s a great deal of anger, hurt, and grief– sometime a lot of ugly– first you need to clear out. Just like in grief, you can’t rush to acceptance and just move on. You need that moment of screaming at God. Real healing comes from understanding and feeling all the feelings, even the scary and ugly ones.

Repression just hurts…usually physically.

We are helping each other now when we push those buttons. Yes, you’re pissed at your friend for saying that one insane comment out of nowhere, but it did bring up a puzzle piece for that core issue to heal. I am not excusing meanness though. Even if you have compassion and understanding for what someone is going through, and they are hurting,  it’s no excuse for them to dump or project their crap on you and be out and out mean. As sensitive people, we often “carry” that stuff, or agree to be the scapegoat. (That was my role in childhood. No more, thank you very much.) That is not helping anyone in anyway to heal anything.

So as you ride this rollercoaster to true, deep healing, how do you survive everyone walking around acting crazy and having their buttons pushed left and right? (I have this funny image in my head from the movie Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds where the stars are trying to run from one building to another without a ton of birds pecking out their heads.)

I asked for guidance for a tool and got a clear answer. Boundaries. Like, not allowing meanness, or stepping aside when someone is flipping out. Try not to take things personally either. I’m really good at that, like most empaths. Communication is key here.We can say what we want in or out.* We can be very clear if we aren’t comfortable and what we can’t talk about, by saying it in a gentle way. I always think that those who can hear your boundaries right now, are safe and move towards. Those who can’t,  in this moment, are not safe, and you need to move away from, until they are able to hear you, if that is possible.* Being able to be heard is extremely important and many of us had childhoods when that didn’t happen, or worse, when we did say something, we were yelled at or attacked, even shamed for what we said.  That’s why being heard now, as adults,  is very important, indeed.

Cool thing happened to me with validation on this tool. I heard the word “Boundaries” in meditation for a few days. When I woke up to check my mail, I noticed my Illustration Friday’s theme was Boundaries. Each week Illustration Friday has an artistic prompt theme to create by. At that site, you can suggest themes. There is usually a long backlog of having your theme picked. I have tried my hand at suggesting themes a few times. Well, this week’s theme was suggested by….me! There was even a link to my old design blog alongside the new blog, which tells me I suggested that theme a long time ago. Coincidence? We know better.

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*I cover this in my Care of the Sensitive class and my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive available for purchase here at the site.

career guidance · career path · empath · empaths · spiritual lessons

Love what you do and trust your feelings

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Being an empath, I follow my intuition and what is best for me through my feelings.

Yesterday, I decided to finally get that haircut I’ve been putting off due to lack of time and a touch of laziness. After a few errands and a trip to Safeway, I stopped off Great Cuts with a coupon in hand for a discount haircut.

Entering the place, I noticed a crowded waiting room with kids jumping up and down off the chairs. The energy felt downright uncomfortable. But it was the woman at the front desk that turned me off. She seemed bored, tired, and someone who really didn’t care if I got a haircut or not. Was she the one who was going to cut my hair?! With a long wait, I reluctantly made an appt. to come back at 2pm for a haircut.

Driving around, wasting time until my appointment, I felt a huge tug NOT to go back. I’m a little embarassed to say that I didn’t. The more I thought about going in there the worse I felt. Instead I drove around and remembered that my one friend mentioned a hairdresser who was really good at her trade. Being pulled, I entered her shop two minutes away and she was delightful! She was actually excited about cutting my hair and we made an appointment for the next day.

Marianna, this great new hairdresser, cut my hair today. It looks wonderful. We talked while she cut and she told me I had great hair. (Got to love a compliment). She gave me tips on what conditioners would be great for my hair. There was no one else in the shop as she cuts one person’s hair at a time. It cost maybe three times the discount haircut, but you know what? With all that great treatment, I walked out feeling like a million bucks. I even treated myself to lunch afterwards.

I guess this is a story about several things. One, follow your gut and your energy. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t for you. Two, Marianna loved cutting my hair and told me so. That wonderful energy went into my hair, probably. Loving what she does radiated out and was a great gift to me, and because of that, she did a great job. The first hairdresser I almost went to didn’t honor what she did and I guarantee she wouldn’t have honored me either, like Marianna had.

And third, treat yourself, dammit! Go just a little further with what you spend on yourself and you will be rewarded by showing the world and the Universe you matter. That’s one of those keys to abundance.

Go get a great haircut.

ps. I actually remember about six months ago going into that hair salon (the earlier one) to get a quick bangs cut. The young woman cutting my hair went on and on how my hair was so dry and with my “kind” of hair I shouldn’t even have bangs. Reminds me of the bad post office experience. 🙂

Fairy blessings,

empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Update to the Post Office Story

designingfairy5 Comments

Empaths, repeat after me: My Perceptions Are Correct. Remind yourself often.

In my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive: 50 Tools to Help you Thrive and Survive (offered on this site, incidently), I mention a story of catching a bad mood that wasn’t my own. The story tells of a post office clerk who passed along her bad mood to me, and being an empath, I began to sponge in the bad feelings until I realized what was happening and stopped the process.

My empathic sense that day was that the clerk was very burn out and angry, and I kept feeling she needed to leave this job. It was the job.

Interestingly enough, I found myself in the same post office the other day.  My stomach dropped when I saw who one of the clerks were behind the counter. I was in such a rush I had forgotten that I might bump into her again. Imagine my surprise when I glanced over to the side of the counter under her work station to see signs of “Happy Retirement,” and “Good Luck.” There was even a sign that said “Today is her last day. Wish her luck.”

Wow. My spidey sense was right on target! She WAS burn out. This was a woman who was counting down the days until retirement so she could leave and do what she really wanted to do. Like Senior days in high school, as graduation grows closer, the less you can tolerate school. And I am so glad I did recognize her feelings with my own, and I didn’t take them on and take her behavior personally. Well, I started to, but I caught it. A very valuable tool for all sensitive empaths.

Don’t you just love validation for lessons learned? And, what were the chances I’d be there her very last day?

empath · empaths · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

My e-book is on Kindle!

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Sweet! My e-book is now available on Amazon Kindle if you have a Kindle device. Go here to order. If  not, you can buy a copy right here at the site in the Ebook section.

spiritual lessons · whimsical illustration

Learned from Nature tip

designingfairy

career guidance · career path · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Dealing with Transitions in Your Life

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When my old computer died I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. I dropped it off hoping that it would be healed. Next thing I was told my files were retrievable, but the computer had had it. Then I got this computer. We are starting to bond and I am getting used to the hair trigger keys that make all kinds of buttons appear all over the screen.

It was the same way with my cell phone. I made a giant leap forward from a cheaper, simple model with manual keys to touch screen-everything. That phone likes to talk to itself in my purse sometimes (It has voice recognition). Change can be tough to deal with.

We are moving forward, most of us, supposedly improving and upscaling. It’s like a fast current that we can’t avoid but have to jump on to. I always fear stagnation but there is little logic to that when we are always learning something new, especially spiritually which creates big leaps in perception and therefore, experiences.

So, how do you deal with the change and the big transitions? Everyone I know is experiencing this at this time. As per my usual blog style, I’ve compiled a list of what I have discovered.

What to do when you are in transition.

  1. Fight it. Stay tucked away at home hardly ever leaving. Even better, hide under the bed. Ha ha! Change won’t find you here! You’ve outsmarted change! I have this image from one of my favorite movies, The Triplets of Belleville. The funky house that the main characters live in doesn’t change but we are shown the passage of time by buildings and highways being built around it. Unfortunately, cocoons are lovely but eventually the butterfly needs to emerge or risk getting dried up and brittle.
  2. Instability is hardest for earth signs like myself. We love order. Throw the order off and we feel chaotic. Focus on creating some kind of stability, whether a steady schedule or daily rituals. Knowing every morning you can stop at your neighborhood cafe where everyone knows your name helps create some kind of order. My church helps me with that, knowing every Sunday I can check in and receive sustenance and community.
  3. Go the opposite direction and throw all caution to the wind (what does that expression mean anyway?) and run away to Europe to find yourself. Think Eat Pray Love. I want to do this but I have a personality that conflicts with this jump-in- the-water kind of experience, but you may like it. The trip may change your world around.
  4. My one friend suggested buying a poster board and filling it up with new goals. Brainstorming is a great way to open doors you may not have considered. I have had a tough time with this project as my life didn’t turn out at all like I thought it would, and I am a little afraid of what more is in store if it’s anything like what I’ve been through! So I would suggest, if you are like me, baby steps for your planning sessions. Just focus on the next little ideas that may be coming to the surface and nudging at you. Like building a new foundation you are given the next few bricks, not a whole wall all at once. (I know, we want the whole wall and even the building plan drawn out for us so we know where we are going.)
  5. Avoid the past. This is a big tip to follow when you are in transitions. When I get pulled into the past, I am miserable and stuck back there spinning my wheels. But that isn’t my reality now. When I do this I am really experiencing a form of PTSD. I have to remind myself those were yesterday’s lessons, not today. Like school, I don’t have to repeat ninth grade if I graduated! It’s a hard habit to break when your future isn’t coming in fast enough and you need to hold on to something, but it isn’t real. It’s a faulty coping tool that is similar to sitting under the bed.
  6. Practice patience. I have very little of that, unfortunately. If this is one of your virtues, rejoice, and please share your tips on how to have it with the rest of us. I think I missed that class in school.
  7. Focus on the sensual. This is big guidance I’ve been receiving. Listening to beautiful music, feeling the softness of my dog-ters, looking at colors, tasting great food, I am in the joyful moment. I am rebuilding my hope and faith with each small treat. Enjoying being in that space, everything is okay in my world and nothing can hurt me. It’s like I am closest to God then.

So, there isn’t a quick fix like we would like when we are in transition. Sitting under the bed has it’s time and place, but eventually we do need to come out from under at least to eat. Hopefully, following some of these tips will help you emerge a little stronger from your cocoon, and you will move more courageously into the next chapter of your life.

fairies · healing · healing art · spiritual lessons · whimsical illustration

Featured card this week

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T is for Tree Spirit. “You’ve forgotten the earthy side of your nature,” the tree spirit told me. (from the Fairy Healing Alphabet deck copyright 2011 Ronni Ann Hall)

Something  to look at this week: Tree Spirits are such wise and loving beings. This Tree Spirit is letting you know that you are too disconnected from Nature at this time in your life. You need to hug a tree, or walk in the forest, or sit by a pond. Symptoms you are disconnected:

  • you feel “boxed-in” and claustrophobic

  • you work in an environment where there is no windows

  • you feel cranky and irritable

  • you are not feeling creative or hopeful

Fairy task: Bring the outside in. Go hunting for fallen pinecones and forest treasures to bring into your home. Cut a flower from your rose bush and place it into a vase. Open some windows and let light in. Balance will be restored inside of you and around you.

spiritual lessons

One of the most important things I am learning

designingfairy

We really are in Earth School here. We’re constantly learning lessons or understanding and seeing our own patterns reflected back to us in our lives and environment. Sometimes, this is an amazing process and quite fascinating. Other times, it’s just painful or irritating.

I’ve seen a recurring pattern in my own life where those in authority are incompetent and ignorant and stand in the way of loved ones getting the help or assistance they need. My guidance on this was that this mirrored what happened to me when I was ill as a child, so I replay it often.

But this experience helps me as teacher and as a intuitive helper. Who knows? Maybe in another life I was one who was ignorant, making blanket judgements on only what I saw. And that’s the most important thing I am learning. In today’s outdated systems, there’s lots of “that’s how things are done,” “this is the model of how THIS looks like, so everyone fits into one box,” and “this is how it looks, so this is how it is.” But we are all being asked to go deeper; below the surface.

I’ve seen the flip side of this also lately. An acquaintance seemed very sweet and friendly on the surface, but I felt “icky” with. That uncomfortable feeling didn’t go away. This friend became more and more boundary-impaired revealing what maybe what I didn’t want to see. In this situation, I wanted to believe the surface.

I’ve talked often of the veterinarians that would see an illness and stick it into their box or more likely, medical directory, and give a dire diagnosis with no hope. They had no desire for education or other alternatives or even other diagnoses!

In all these situations, they choose not to see and didn’t want to see (myself included). Maybe that would make more work for them. Or, they would have to explore outside their boxes too much, and that’s kinda scary for a great deal of people. Or, in my case, I just wanted to think better of people.

Obviously, this is a thing for me. It’s like an annoying fly buzzing around my face. Sometimes, flies are indications of why we are here. My big mission is to educate others and be a teacher. I like to achieve that in fun, entertaining ways, but it’s still what I have a drive to do. I love to learn. I love to think outside that box, especially when the box isn’t working. Perhaps, that’s what I teach.

We can’t fall for appearances and stay on the surface. There’s always a different story for all situations. That helps me as a teacher or as an intuitive helping people because each dog that bites isn’t just out of fear. Each dog has a different story, and therefore, needs a different solution.

We need to be good detectives.

One of my most favorite tv shows is BONES. There’s a format to the show. They recover bones from a crime scene, identify the bones and cause of death, and then pick up a suspect. The beginning of the show there are ALWAYS false assumptions of what happened. People are placed into little boxes. By the end of the show, there’s the moment when you are usually blown away to learn it was the sweet little housewife who shoveled the guy on the head, or the bad guy wasn’t so bad after all. I love that!

When I used to do readings in the beginning, way back when, I would assume what the situation was, but by the time the reading was over and the dog spoke or the Guides spoke, and like watching an episode of BONES, I was always blown away by the answers and reeducated.

So, what am I saying? Educate yourself!! Get all of the pieces of the puzzle, not just one little jagged edge. Look below the surface and not accept the superficial and let’s start thinking out of those boxes to make some real, decent change.