Tag: self worth

self esteem · self worth · spiritual lessons · value

The Full Sail Shift and New Store!

designingfairy

seeingthevalue

I’ve been learning a great deal about valuing what I do and offer. I’m involved in a big shift. Years ago, when I went to Grad School I experienced a new way of looking at things. When I was there I saw myself in a different light. I expanded. (Well, I did gain five pounds while going there but that is another story.) When I say I expanded, I meant I was in my BIGNESS as biz coach Fabeku lovingly calls it. I was in my bigger soul self. Before where I overlooked my intelligence, here it was mirrored back to me. My talents were clear. My direction picture perfect. But most importantly, I felt HOPEFUL, OUT OF THE BOX THINKING self, anything is possible, excited. My picture of myself changed. Like those popular memes going around Facebook, the tiny cat saw the lion. After I graduated I took a fun job that I really enjoyed creating original, creative marketing but I stayed a bit small.

My Full Sail Shift is upon me again. I being asked to think bigger and to truly value what I do, and the challenge to stay out of smallness even though there isn’t a FULL SAIL to mirror that back to me. I just need to remember how that felt. (And lean on my friends to remind me).

Looking through my old posts, I was struck how often I have written about this topic here. I am guessing a repeat lesson for me! Duh Ronni! Here are a few of my past posts that also cover this topic nicely.

Seeing the value

Why don’t you do this for free

Compromise and guidance

Do you teach others to treat you like crap?

Playing Small

fairywithoutorange with name

My Healing Fairy Alphabet site is coming along nicely with my new attached store for my artwork and goodies growing nicely too. Go visit and shop over here. You can preorder the new TWIGS book too. There’s a party happening over there! Can you feel it?

being sensitive · spiritual lessons

Seeing the Value

designingfairy1 Comment

dancing flower

 

I learned an important lesson this week on feeling valued.

Usually while you are in the midst of living, you curse, complain and suffer through when bad things happen or you are uncomfortable. You don’t see the message or what you are learning until AFTER the fact.

I am teaching kids design and storytelling. My design class is eager and they carry their sketchbooks around to every class designing pants outfits and dresses during break times. They burst through the doors with enthusiasm ready to sketch. Teaching this group is invigorating and fun. I want to come up with a ton of ideas to inspire them and nurture their budding talents. They value the class and the subject.

My story class has been…a challenge. Part of the issue is we aren’t set up with the computer programs or cameras yet and so there is a lag on what I can cover vs. what I want to cover. The group of kids are all over the place in attention. They are rude, talk over me when I am trying to teach, and have little enthusiasm for the projects. I have one child that tends to finish all assignments in two minutes, handing over her notebook crying out “Done!” as if it is a race. I plan my curriculum the day before with such love, and spice it up with inspiration and fun, hoping it will catch on with this group of students. After the second try with this group, I took one look at them and set it straight. I told them we were thinking of canceling the course because this was not rewarding for anyone. I wasn’t going to be a babysitter, or jump up and down and entertain. I was physically and emotionally drained and defeated when I left that class and I never want to feel that way teaching. After my big speech the kids focused on the exercise before them, but I had already made my decision.

This was a turning point for me and I am surprised there wasn’t a big lightbulb that burst over my head in the middle of the speech. I don’t usually just give up. I have a long-standing habit of giving so much where it isn’t valued. I just keep giving and giving, and if that doesn’t work, I try harder. I was able to FEEL the devaluing while teaching in that classroom. Perhaps the feeling was shame and insecurity first because I internalized their devaluing as rejection. Then I just felt hopeless and depressed and later, the drain.

If they don’t see the value of what you are giving, you are going to feel a huge energy loss.

It’s time to look back over everything I give and decide, where is it valued? Keep those. And instead of keep trying and trying and putting it out there (in all aspects of life) only offer where its worth is reflected back.