Tag: empath sensitive e-book

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · healing · sensitivity · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Is empathic residue or triggers? Nasty fairy attacks

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Like most of us that write or teach, I usually am learning what I need to share that week. With all this great lunar energy has come some good lessons and lots of insight. The lessons being learned haven’t been all too comfortable but big.

Yesterday I had a cranky or nasty fairy attack. I don’t have a great deal of patience as it is, but I was feeling super-impatient with others.

I went to Unity church yesterday feeling good and relaxed and found myself halfway through the morning cranky, drained and wanting to sleep. Keep in mind that the room was warm and even the Rev. complained that there were a few who were yawning through his lesson.

I concluded that I was picking up some nasty stuff including the general mood in the room of malaise. I did have a cranky encounter with one friend , who was being super-critical, and another who felt demanding to me because he was miffed I gave him the cold shoulder, so I figured I was picking up their stuff coming at me. That made logical sense and would explain my mood and energy drain.

Being an empath, which I am sure you can relate to, we can often pick up other folks’ stuff unknowingly even if they are thinking about us from far away. Discerning who and what it is you are picking up is crucial detective work. But what if what’s really happening is someone else’s SH*T is triggering your SH*T?

After a good night’s sleep asking for guidance, I realized that is exactly what occurred. Yes, I picked up on the mood of the room, but it was my interactions with my friends’ stuff that got me reeling and upset. ANGER is a great indicator that someone has blasted through your boundaries, which is a little of what had happened. But with new insight I realized that the big issue I had been working on from my past was being mirrored in their behavior towards me. They had just given me little clues.

When I woke up, I made a list of those behaviors that really peeved me and I could see there was a pattern developing. I continually got very upset when someone else demands of me with no regard to my needs, or is controlling and forceful while trampling my boundaries. This pattern was one that I grew up with and I probably wasn’t aware consciously that it upset me so much back then, but it stayed buried inside me until others push those specific buttons.

What I learned from this experience is not only that sometimes it isn’t empathic feeling I am picking up but those trigger buttons, but I also noticed that there isn’t a pat answer or explanation for every experience we have. If I had stopped there, and concluded that I was just sponging off someone’s feelings, or someone was psychic attacking me, or even that “bad spirits” were draining me, or, that I wasn’t “loving enough and they were only mirrors,”  I wouldn’t have gotten to the meat of that particular situation. That is one big thing I have against some new age or spiritual teachings. Every story is different, and that means different answers and different solutions. Blanket answers like “it’s all just fear or love,” may be true at the core, but doesn’t give real world day to day conclusions. Nor is “just love others” when the human relationship is so complex with all our stuff bouncing off each other! And I don’t know about you, but when someone tramples my boundaries or is abusive to me, just throwing love their way when I am supposed to be speaking up for myself and screaming NO! is not my answer.

 

empath · empaths · psychic · women's issues

Better Boundaries for Sensitives

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I’ve been learning a thing or two about one of the most important tools for a sensitive person: BOUNDARIES. I’ve written about this in my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive. Using your empathic skills, you can better read energy and then protect yourself. Go to the Animal Spirit Network to sign up for my upcoming teleclass, Better Boundaries for Sensitives. It’s on Wednesday night! Head on over to HERE.

Incidently, the class has now passed, but you can still buy it on demand at Animal Spirit Network.

Animal Communication · Animals · empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

The Used Car Salesman Personality

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Yesterday, I received a phonecall at 8 a.m. from a salesman from a web hosting company. He was perky and happy, and I was cranky and still hadn’t had breakfast. Immediately I felt his energy as if I was getting caught up in a strong wave in the ocean–I was deep under, pressured, and overwhelmed. He asked me a great deal of questions so I didn’t have space or time to even squeak in a “not interested.” He must have been looking down at a list of notes when he said, “So, you have just the one website? Fairyonlineschool.com?” I played dumb. I had over 6 months ago dissolved that website and morphed it into this one. “Sure,” I said, but I was deeply irritated. He hadn’t done the least bit of research on my company to see what I needed and what my company was about.

“Wouldn’t you love to have a company go over your site and make sure you have the right key words, etc.?” Now, I hate all that left brain marketing stuff. (Yes, some of it is necessary.) It may work for some companies, but I explained, “I have a very niche business with a specific audience and I seem to be reaching them. I need to do more of what I’ve been doing.”

“Yes, of course…” He went on and on not hearing me.

This pissed me off more. Here I am in a business that specializes in hearing people and even hearing the layers underneath of people, and all I could feel was that used car salesman mentality: he just wanted to make the sale and get the car off the lot. Who cares if a month ahead I’d find that the radiator leaks and the starter sucks and I’m miserable with the car?

I’ve met this personality before outside of business, and I’m sure you have,  and it’s irritating and upsetting. The question that comes to mind is, “where are my needs even in this picture?!” As empaths, we are so used to feeling others’ needs and wanting to help and please, maybe we even forget we have any needs in the first place! The salesman comes along to give you a gentle or not so gentle reminder: Oops, I forgot my needs again! Oh man, again? So focused on others, we get lost in the pleasing tornado. We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance. We will buy that lemon car and be resentful and pissy for months, or even years.

We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance.

The antidote is to know and state your needs, instead of ignoring them, or do what I do, which is whine and be bitchy when my needs are forgotten along the line. I suggest using what I call the EMMA LOU METHOD. Now there’s the Sedona Method and a bunch of others, but this one really works. When Emma Lou, my basset hound, has a need and wants to get her need met she:

a. puts her head in my hands gently to instigate a petting when she needs it

b. jumps up and sits on my lap when she needs attention

c. is naughty and steals food to get my attention

I don’t recommend the aggressive “c” tactic as it’s almost as bad and aggressive as the used car salesman technique. Tactic “a” is a nice one that simply states I need this and it’s up to you if you can give it to me or not. This is a great way to make your needs known while respecting others’ needs. Most humans can not use tactic “b” as it falls under the category of “awkward.”

Try it out. See how it works for you. I’m sure I will come up with a workshop and a best-selling book on the method, and then I will surely need an aggressive used-car salesman personality to sell it for me. Your phone may be ringing soon.

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To read more posts visit my new website’s Sensitive Artist blog here. and do check out my Help! I’m Sensitive book series there.

empath · empaths

Out from under the bed

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Our beagle girl, Lilibeth, lived under the bed most of her long life. Now, don’t get me wrong, we weren’t these horrible abusers who forced her there. She had her rather timid side and somewhere along the way, learned that under the bed was a safe place to watch for dangers. She often stole things of interest and dragged them into her beagle lair and we’d find the funniest things, often what was missing. What Lilibeth taught me, as a sensitive person, was maintaining the gentle balance between being under the bed and coming out from under the bed. Not an easy task.

In my enthusiasm, I can be too “out” and social and find myself picking up on everyone’s feelings, tired, and seriously overloaded. My first signs of overload can be a head cold, ungroundedness that looks like I’m a complete airhead, or the worse one, bitchiness and a short temper.It will feel like my skin is too uncomfortable to wear.

Too “in” looks a little like I’m a crazy person–a tiny bit paranoid, fearful, claustrophobic and obsessed with figuring out the big puzzles of the world. That’s the extreme. You know when you are too “in” when you get that weird look in your eye and the world seems scary and threatening.

I do like the under the bed technique but there are too many dustballs under there so I can’t stay too long.

For an empath, balancing the two really is about being very aware of what your body is feeling and listening. With the energies going around right now, it’s no wonder we are all inclined to stay under a little longer.  And that’s okay, as long as we venture out a bit also. The world needs your energy.

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For more tips for the Sensitive, buy my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive. Or, consider booking a reading.

empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Update to the Post Office Story

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Empaths, repeat after me: My Perceptions Are Correct. Remind yourself often.

In my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive: 50 Tools to Help you Thrive and Survive (offered on this site, incidently), I mention a story of catching a bad mood that wasn’t my own. The story tells of a post office clerk who passed along her bad mood to me, and being an empath, I began to sponge in the bad feelings until I realized what was happening and stopped the process.

My empathic sense that day was that the clerk was very burn out and angry, and I kept feeling she needed to leave this job. It was the job.

Interestingly enough, I found myself in the same post office the other day.  My stomach dropped when I saw who one of the clerks were behind the counter. I was in such a rush I had forgotten that I might bump into her again. Imagine my surprise when I glanced over to the side of the counter under her work station to see signs of “Happy Retirement,” and “Good Luck.” There was even a sign that said “Today is her last day. Wish her luck.”

Wow. My spidey sense was right on target! She WAS burn out. This was a woman who was counting down the days until retirement so she could leave and do what she really wanted to do. Like Senior days in high school, as graduation grows closer, the less you can tolerate school. And I am so glad I did recognize her feelings with my own, and I didn’t take them on and take her behavior personally. Well, I started to, but I caught it. A very valuable tool for all sensitive empaths.

Don’t you just love validation for lessons learned? And, what were the chances I’d be there her very last day?

career guidance · career path · empath · empaths

Take the Worst Job as a Sensitive Poll

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career guidance · career path · empath · empaths

I’m an INFJ and I am proud of it!

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Myers Briggs has a very cool system to help people find their “type,” helping them clarify what jobs, work places, etc., would be best for them. I am in a small percentile of folks, like many of my readers, clients and students that are sensitive,  that are INFJs. NFs are the intuitive feelers of the world. We experience the world through our feeling.

What I think is very nice about this classification is that when I try to be someone I am not, looking at an INFJ definition, I realize that I am unique in how I handle the world, and that’s just fine. I am encouraged to work with how I am, not against it, not act like someone I am not, such as a ISTP. What a concept. That means if I try to apply for a job as a hostess at a busy restaurant, I might get it, but I won’t last very long with that constant people stimulation. I’d fry out. I would also fail at a job that was only repetitive work that didn’t use my mind or imagination. I’d probably escape through the nearest window.

I look back at the jobs I had when I was younger and I now see how I was squeezing a circle into a square job. Then I’d berate myself when I’d fail at it! I’ve had lots of retail jobs in those early years, and though I was good at helping customers and enjoyed it, I was extremely unfulfilled not creating anything or using my mind to solve problems. My funnest job but the one I failed the most at was working at Burger King on the night shift as a teen. I was terrible at repetitive cooking, would forget the details on how to make food, and all I wanted to do was socialize and learn my coworkers’ stories.

  • INFJs, like most sensitives, need alone time to recharge or we get a bit wonky. Too much ongoing people interaction=overload
  • INFJs like to encourage others’ growth and empowerment and like to help in that capacity
  • INFJs like to solve complex problems and use their minds
  • INFJs need jobs that are value-oriented and see their positive impact on others
  • INFJs may not be good at facts and details and repetition
  • INFJs best in leader roles, not followers

When you think of your work or situation choices, work WITH who you are, not against. The Myers Brigg classification is one tool that really assists with finding the right places for your talents and shifts your perception from “there’s something wrong with me” to “maybe this is just a bad match for my strengths and abilities.”

And if you live in an area where most of the jobs are not matches for your classifications, make your own, like I did. Find a need that matches what only you can give.

empath · empaths · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

My e-book is on Kindle!

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Sweet! My e-book is now available on Amazon Kindle if you have a Kindle device. Go here to order. If  not, you can buy a copy right here at the site in the Ebook section.

empath · empaths

Are you becoming more sensitive?

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It’s Friday and I’m teaching Fairy Online School. Woo-hoo! I’m totally digging teaching the mini-class about Roses. The lesson I received to teach for Lesson 3 is kinda mind-blowing for me and talks about the mission of the Roses.

Are you becoming more empathic? Have you noticed? It seems the more we get rid of our “mud” the more clearly we can see and the more pronounced our abilities. And before you yell at yourself for being so sensitive, like I had one moment the other day, stop and realize what a gift this is.

I’ve been picking up much lately. A dear friend of mine had a problem with spirits in her house and wanted me to pick up what I “got.” Ordinarily, I would need to go quiet my mind, relax, etc., but the information was just there. Instantly. I was actually knee-deep in watching a good show and my attention was elsewhere. That surprised me. Was it that easy now?

The other day, I was in the library and had a sudden, bad stomach ache. I wondered if it was food poisoning or too much milk. When I asked if it was foreign, I received that it was someone else’s energy in my space. They were thinking strongly about me. Once I acknowledged it, made a boundary by asking for it to go away, it did.

We do need to work on stronger protection around us, so we don’t have intruders in the first place. That’s very important, because we need to have safe space for us to breathe. With everything, we are not perfect and can’t be constantly on guard. Sometimes, stuff and folks get pass the guard. Being that sensitive, and immediately picking up that foreign energy or the energies around others, is the next step in our empathic evolution. When you are aware of the foreign energy, is the gift. It’s often when we aren’t, that we take it on and suffer so much. We carry it around like heavy backpacks and wonder why we feel so crappy.  It’s finally using our empathic ability as the gift it is. THAT’S better protection.

Signs you may have foreign energies intruding into your space:

  • SUDDEN is the key word here. You feel good one moment and awful the next. Sudden stomach aches. Sudden overwhelming emotions. If you are releasing emotions, there’s a different feel to them. It’s more gradual.
  • You will feel bad like there is a dark cloud over your head you can’t get rid of.
  • You feel crowded or influenced negatively. I notice when some spirits come around who are tricksters or troublemakers my thinking will change to fearful or negative out of nowhere. If you ask them to stop and your thoughts seem to go away immediately, you’ve got visitors.

Becoming aware is the next step in your Advanced Empathy.

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Shameless plug: for more tools to help harnass your gift, buy my new ebook, Help! I’m Sensitive!

empath · empaths · empowering women · healing

Lightworkers, are we becoming too sensitive?

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I am noticing with my friends, clients and myself, that we are becoming more sensitive and more psychic in our abilities. Are we evolving?

Have you noticed that you can pick up more now what others are feeling or even thinking? I haven’t been able to watch tv shows lately that are dark at all. I rented a copy of Supernatural. It’s a tv series I used to watch and enjoy. I physically hurt through most of it; there was that much violence and cruelty. This wasn’t entertainment. Maybe I am not the too sensitive one. Maybe it’s the world who is getting so numb they can stand this level of darkness assaulting our eyes. I can’t do that anymore.

After having that happen, feeling so sensitive, I first thought, “Do I need to live in a box then, away from the world?” Many of my clients come to me wondering the same things.

And the answer I heard this morning was No. You don’t need to isolate. I think we’ve always been this sensitive, some of us. We came in wired this way. But then we accumulated a great deal of mud and fog to numb over our sensitivity. What we’ve been doing is clearing out the mud and being who we really are under all that crap. So, then, the darkness doesn’t feel right when you’ve just gotten rid of a ton of our own darkness. You no longer resonate. Why would you want a part of what you just got rid of?

Our light is coming back. We aren’t turning into light. We were light to start with! And then we got involved in earth school and layers of mud kept getting added until we didn’t recognize we were light at all. We thought we were dirt. And probably listening to voices growing up telling us we were flawed in some way for being sensitive, we really did believe we were dirt.

So, no. You aren’t too sensitive. You never were. We’ve had to adjust to being here. But now you have no choice as you work on your healing to be anyone but who you really are. One big shining light. Perhaps we are all just lightning bugs.

I think that is kinda cool.