Tag: Being Sensitive

spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

We Are Healing Core Stuff: What I am Learning

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What I Am Learning:

What we are all dealing with now, whether some aware or not, is our core beliefs (that old childhood poo) to heal and clear. What that means is we are all going to be pushing each other’s buttons. This can look like:

— Why did you say THAT? You insensitive clod.

— Why do I always have stomach aches, or headaches and colds? Or fill in the blank.

— Why does this pattern always happen to me, and here it is happening again and in a huge way!

The good news is when things are really at the head of clearing and healing, it looks and feels the worse. If you can just ride that rollercoaster one last time, it will heal when those big insights start to spill out to understanding.

I believe strongly that healing is not going around it, avoiding it, or being fake spiritual about it. I have found in my own life, you just can’t rush to compassion and forgiveness. Or healing.  There’s a great deal of anger, hurt, and grief– sometime a lot of ugly– first you need to clear out. Just like in grief, you can’t rush to acceptance and just move on. You need that moment of screaming at God. Real healing comes from understanding and feeling all the feelings, even the scary and ugly ones.

Repression just hurts…usually physically.

We are helping each other now when we push those buttons. Yes, you’re pissed at your friend for saying that one insane comment out of nowhere, but it did bring up a puzzle piece for that core issue to heal. I am not excusing meanness though. Even if you have compassion and understanding for what someone is going through, and they are hurting,  it’s no excuse for them to dump or project their crap on you and be out and out mean. As sensitive people, we often “carry” that stuff, or agree to be the scapegoat. (That was my role in childhood. No more, thank you very much.) That is not helping anyone in anyway to heal anything.

So as you ride this rollercoaster to true, deep healing, how do you survive everyone walking around acting crazy and having their buttons pushed left and right? (I have this funny image in my head from the movie Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds where the stars are trying to run from one building to another without a ton of birds pecking out their heads.)

I asked for guidance for a tool and got a clear answer. Boundaries. Like, not allowing meanness, or stepping aside when someone is flipping out. Try not to take things personally either. I’m really good at that, like most empaths. Communication is key here.We can say what we want in or out.* We can be very clear if we aren’t comfortable and what we can’t talk about, by saying it in a gentle way. I always think that those who can hear your boundaries right now, are safe and move towards. Those who can’t,  in this moment, are not safe, and you need to move away from, until they are able to hear you, if that is possible.* Being able to be heard is extremely important and many of us had childhoods when that didn’t happen, or worse, when we did say something, we were yelled at or attacked, even shamed for what we said.  That’s why being heard now, as adults,  is very important, indeed.

Cool thing happened to me with validation on this tool. I heard the word “Boundaries” in meditation for a few days. When I woke up to check my mail, I noticed my Illustration Friday’s theme was Boundaries. Each week Illustration Friday has an artistic prompt theme to create by. At that site, you can suggest themes. There is usually a long backlog of having your theme picked. I have tried my hand at suggesting themes a few times. Well, this week’s theme was suggested by….me! There was even a link to my old design blog alongside the new blog, which tells me I suggested that theme a long time ago. Coincidence? We know better.

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*I cover this in my Care of the Sensitive class and my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive available for purchase here at the site.

empath · empaths · psychic

Paranormal TV Series Review for the Sensitive

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I love Netflix. Each week I receive my happy, little envelopes in the mail for my viewing pleasure according to my Queue. I’m lazy and it’s too hot to stand at the Redbox booth, so this works well for me. Since I joined, I’ve been able to try out different series I normally wouldn’t have watched. Some, were way too violent or dark for my sensitive nature. Others were just right. Here’s my list.

TV Series I recommend:

HAVEN: I love this quirky yet sometimes creepy series about those with different “troubles” written by Stephen King. Ordinarily, everything written by Stephen King usually has puke or evil creepy dead twins. I will never forget IT or the SHINING. But this show has great characters, a strong female lead you admire, intelligence in the plot lines with a huge dose of the supernatural, and lots of psychic abilities, too many that do go awry. I like that most of the time you are spared seeing horrible dead bodies; it’s more suggested. Bravo! We don’t need to be visually assaulted, especially us clairvoyants who never forget. I’m pretty hooked on this one and look forward to season two.

MERLIN: This is a great tv series shot in England with those great accents about Merlin’s beginnings as a teen boy. It’s wholesome with endearing relationships, and the teens don’t act skanky and make you cringe, which is always a good thing. I relate to Merlin’s quest to accept and not hide his abilities (I couldn’t talk about mine with my in-laws. My father-in-law is the one that told me Mediums are hated by God). None of the characters on this show are all good or all bad, but are very real. And maybe there’s that cool past life in King Arthur times I vaguely remember. 🙂 It’s brilliant.

THE REAPER: This was an older series of a young adult who is being told on his coming of age birthday that he now has to retrieve wayward souls from hell for the devil. It’s cleverly written, has great dry humor and interesting characters. I like the whole good vs. evil in ourselves fight that we can all relate to in some small way. The title character grapples with his destiny. Violence is minimal and most of the dark elements are funny, so less threatening.

Of course, I LOVE Ghost Whisperer. There’s so much healing on that show.  I wish they hadn’t cancelled it. DEAD LIKE ME is another very quirky, dark humored and well-written show also. Folks do die on that one each episode, but you expect it and it’s explained simply as their time to go.

My Recommendations to stay away from if you are sensitive:

SUPERNATURAL: I liked this series when it started of two brothers fighting evil. In the beginning there was a strong emphasis on the relationship between the brothers as they encountered their fight and how they grew together or apart.  But the last later episode I caught I found myself flinching through much of the violence. They have upped the violence and the special effects. It’s too cruel and mean in that department. I don’t want to watch people abusing and torturing each other. Been there, done that.

BEING HUMAN: Although I love the story of the ghost, vampire and werewolf who try to fit into society, and the british version’s acting and characters are superb, it’s very, very dark. Topics include physical domestic abuse and murder. As an empath, this one left me feeling inflicted upon and took hours to shake from one dark episode.

HARPER’S ISLAND: This series’ description should have warned me: sexy young socialites get together on a remote island they grew up on only to get slaughtered one by one. Yuck! I can no longer tolerate these kinds of movies. Each episode someone is cruelly murdered usually in disgusting, awful ways. Years ago, when I was more numbed over, I’d find this mildly entertaining. But I felt for each victim and found myself screaming at the screen, “Dude, you just took a life! How is that entertaining?” A huge empathic no.

Happy viewing, Sensitives.

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Signs You Are Too Disconnected from Nature

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It’s been too hot to sit in my yard. 104 degree days in Arizona make me woozy and my head wompy. I was surprised I’ve been getting guidance to find time to go outside anyway. When the girls and the turtle and I finally made it out to the yard, I was appalled by the amount of weeds there were. I think my rose bushes missed me; they were sad-looking. I plopped myself down on the rock floor and began pulling weeds one by one. Emma Lou, my basset girl came running over licking my face in excitement. She was so happy I was outside, finally. I felt embarassed, even a little guilty. Fairy girls NEED nature. It’s right up there with thrift-shopping, animals, and hugs. I hadn’t even noticed I was so disconnected with Nature until I saw the signs.

1. I’ve been neurotic. Now, keep in mind, I was half-raised by a neurotic, loving, worrying, jewish grandmother, so…I have my moments. But I was truly in “hamster wheel” thinking that went around and around with no resolution.

2. My energy was not grounded. I could tell this because my empathic sense was picking up EVERYTHING. I felt pulled into everyone’s story wanting to help and comfort. I couldn’t tell what was mine and someone else’s. It was just me flying around in the tornado like that cow in the movie TWISTER.

3. Because I was neurotic and not grounded, I was affecting my dogs who were worrying more too. They seemed much more relaxed from just a little backyard exposure.

4. I didn’t feel super creative. This is an abnormal state for me. I ALWAYS feel creative. There’s always ideas running around in my head of what I can make or do. I just didn’t feel like doing much of anything. It’s probably the heat, but definitely because I haven’t had yard time.

5. I was missing fairy energy. I only felt half joyful. A tiny, tiny bit silly. I needed to fill up my container with that good fairy buzz I get from being in the yard.

We hung out in the yard for a few hours and Sarah wandered around while Emma barked at the turtle trying to get him to play with her. The heat was rising so we made it to where we are now, hanging out on the couch with me writing. I think even a small dose of Nature is needed for me everyday to stay sane and happy. How about you?

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Incidently, two more weeks until the Fairy Healing the Feminine online class. I am currently writing a cool lesson in picking weeds from your life.  Go sign up now!

Animal Communication · Animals

Fear and psychic ability

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My dog, Sarah, just got back test results that says her liver is off. I’ve been an animal communicator professionally for almost twelve years and, this gives hope to beginning students, I still have moments of doubt when working with my own animal, especially when dealing with FEAR.

FEAR sucks. FEAR is one of those biggies that get in the way when trying to connect psychically. We doubt big what we get when:

  1. we are hoping/wanting an answer (I can’t do pendulums. They swing however I want vs. correct answers.)
  2. we are fearing a particular answer

Many times fear from the past gets in the way. Sarah, being an older dog, has been having accidents in the house. Immediately, FEAR steps in and I think KIDNEY. After a long battle with kidney disease that was really awful, we lost Foxy. I didn’t want that path for Sarah. So, when I checked in with her, sometimes, I’d think, maybe it’s kidney but I’m blocking that answer. My gut didn’t say that though, and gratefully, her kidney levels are fine.

There’s something about being that close to our “client” that makes it harder to read our own animal when the fear comes in. And often times, we aren’t meant to hear an answer yet. One of my closest friends’ dog was very ill. None of us received psychically that she had cancer but her body was riddled with it. In that case, it was best that she didn’t know.

I don’t feel that this time with Sarah. Something doesn’t feel right with the possible diagnoses.

I remember way back when Foxy was with us, she collapsed in the backyard with high liver levels. The vet went on and on about advanced liver disease, but I heard a simpler answer. She had just had heartworm medication that it appeared to me that she strongly reacted to.  She communicated to me “Medicine! Medicine!” Advanced liver disease was cured over night with this answer.

I find this all ironic because one of the biggest challenges my Fairy Online School students relate is not trusting what they get. “Did I make that up or did I hear my animal?” is a big concern. I always tell them to trust their gut, especially the empaths and the sensitives. That they will know what feels like a definite “yes” and truth, and what is their own mind with practice.

It is best to try to communicate with your animal, then, when you are clearer and calmer and in a more neutral space. I’ll probably go take a walk in Nature, or paint to hear clearly and get past that wall of fear I am having. THEN I’ll tune in to Sarah. Many times it will be easier then to reach me with true guidance and information.

 

career guidance · career path · empath · empaths · spiritual lessons

Love what you do and trust your feelings

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Being an empath, I follow my intuition and what is best for me through my feelings.

Yesterday, I decided to finally get that haircut I’ve been putting off due to lack of time and a touch of laziness. After a few errands and a trip to Safeway, I stopped off Great Cuts with a coupon in hand for a discount haircut.

Entering the place, I noticed a crowded waiting room with kids jumping up and down off the chairs. The energy felt downright uncomfortable. But it was the woman at the front desk that turned me off. She seemed bored, tired, and someone who really didn’t care if I got a haircut or not. Was she the one who was going to cut my hair?! With a long wait, I reluctantly made an appt. to come back at 2pm for a haircut.

Driving around, wasting time until my appointment, I felt a huge tug NOT to go back. I’m a little embarassed to say that I didn’t. The more I thought about going in there the worse I felt. Instead I drove around and remembered that my one friend mentioned a hairdresser who was really good at her trade. Being pulled, I entered her shop two minutes away and she was delightful! She was actually excited about cutting my hair and we made an appointment for the next day.

Marianna, this great new hairdresser, cut my hair today. It looks wonderful. We talked while she cut and she told me I had great hair. (Got to love a compliment). She gave me tips on what conditioners would be great for my hair. There was no one else in the shop as she cuts one person’s hair at a time. It cost maybe three times the discount haircut, but you know what? With all that great treatment, I walked out feeling like a million bucks. I even treated myself to lunch afterwards.

I guess this is a story about several things. One, follow your gut and your energy. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t for you. Two, Marianna loved cutting my hair and told me so. That wonderful energy went into my hair, probably. Loving what she does radiated out and was a great gift to me, and because of that, she did a great job. The first hairdresser I almost went to didn’t honor what she did and I guarantee she wouldn’t have honored me either, like Marianna had.

And third, treat yourself, dammit! Go just a little further with what you spend on yourself and you will be rewarded by showing the world and the Universe you matter. That’s one of those keys to abundance.

Go get a great haircut.

ps. I actually remember about six months ago going into that hair salon (the earlier one) to get a quick bangs cut. The young woman cutting my hair went on and on how my hair was so dry and with my “kind” of hair I shouldn’t even have bangs. Reminds me of the bad post office experience. 🙂

Fairy blessings,

empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Update to the Post Office Story

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Empaths, repeat after me: My Perceptions Are Correct. Remind yourself often.

In my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive: 50 Tools to Help you Thrive and Survive (offered on this site, incidently), I mention a story of catching a bad mood that wasn’t my own. The story tells of a post office clerk who passed along her bad mood to me, and being an empath, I began to sponge in the bad feelings until I realized what was happening and stopped the process.

My empathic sense that day was that the clerk was very burn out and angry, and I kept feeling she needed to leave this job. It was the job.

Interestingly enough, I found myself in the same post office the other day.  My stomach dropped when I saw who one of the clerks were behind the counter. I was in such a rush I had forgotten that I might bump into her again. Imagine my surprise when I glanced over to the side of the counter under her work station to see signs of “Happy Retirement,” and “Good Luck.” There was even a sign that said “Today is her last day. Wish her luck.”

Wow. My spidey sense was right on target! She WAS burn out. This was a woman who was counting down the days until retirement so she could leave and do what she really wanted to do. Like Senior days in high school, as graduation grows closer, the less you can tolerate school. And I am so glad I did recognize her feelings with my own, and I didn’t take them on and take her behavior personally. Well, I started to, but I caught it. A very valuable tool for all sensitive empaths.

Don’t you just love validation for lessons learned? And, what were the chances I’d be there her very last day?

career guidance · career path · empath · empaths

Take the Worst Job as a Sensitive Poll

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career guidance · career path · empath · empaths

I’m an INFJ and I am proud of it!

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Myers Briggs has a very cool system to help people find their “type,” helping them clarify what jobs, work places, etc., would be best for them. I am in a small percentile of folks, like many of my readers, clients and students that are sensitive,  that are INFJs. NFs are the intuitive feelers of the world. We experience the world through our feeling.

What I think is very nice about this classification is that when I try to be someone I am not, looking at an INFJ definition, I realize that I am unique in how I handle the world, and that’s just fine. I am encouraged to work with how I am, not against it, not act like someone I am not, such as a ISTP. What a concept. That means if I try to apply for a job as a hostess at a busy restaurant, I might get it, but I won’t last very long with that constant people stimulation. I’d fry out. I would also fail at a job that was only repetitive work that didn’t use my mind or imagination. I’d probably escape through the nearest window.

I look back at the jobs I had when I was younger and I now see how I was squeezing a circle into a square job. Then I’d berate myself when I’d fail at it! I’ve had lots of retail jobs in those early years, and though I was good at helping customers and enjoyed it, I was extremely unfulfilled not creating anything or using my mind to solve problems. My funnest job but the one I failed the most at was working at Burger King on the night shift as a teen. I was terrible at repetitive cooking, would forget the details on how to make food, and all I wanted to do was socialize and learn my coworkers’ stories.

  • INFJs, like most sensitives, need alone time to recharge or we get a bit wonky. Too much ongoing people interaction=overload
  • INFJs like to encourage others’ growth and empowerment and like to help in that capacity
  • INFJs like to solve complex problems and use their minds
  • INFJs need jobs that are value-oriented and see their positive impact on others
  • INFJs may not be good at facts and details and repetition
  • INFJs best in leader roles, not followers

When you think of your work or situation choices, work WITH who you are, not against. The Myers Brigg classification is one tool that really assists with finding the right places for your talents and shifts your perception from “there’s something wrong with me” to “maybe this is just a bad match for my strengths and abilities.”

And if you live in an area where most of the jobs are not matches for your classifications, make your own, like I did. Find a need that matches what only you can give.

Flower essences for sensitive · healing

7 Flower Essences You’ve Got to Have for Summer

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I really love flower essences. They are perfect for assisting in healing emotional issues. Essences will get to the heart or core of the issue you are dealing with. Out of nowhere, it would seem, you have “a-ha” moments and big lightbulb thoughts bursting over your head, giving you new understanding or a new perception to heal that issue.

It’s summer in the States right now and that means a good time to slow down and reflect.

There are seven really good flower essences that come to mind when I think about this time of year.

  1. Jasmine Tree. Summer is a time where you can relax and can nurture yourself. We used to have this sweet little tree that sat in our bedroom given to me by my dear friend, Jan. I made an essence from it. This tree’s essence has the healing pattern of nurturance. Taking the essence, I feel taken care of, comforted and loved. Recently, this essence was indicated for my basset girl, Emma Lou, who was recovering from an ear infection. She felt traumatized from the office vet visit and needed reassurance. I take it to remind myself to take care of me, not just everyone else.
  2. Lavender. Once I finally slowed down, I realized that my nerves were shot from all the running around and busyness. Lavender calms down my nervous system and smooths out all the jagged edges so I can relax. Ahhh.
  3. Red Salvia. We’ve had several eclipses, crazy world events and personal events. I’m emotionally tired this summer! I grab for the Red Salvia which is both emotionally calming and grounding. I can take this one as often as I need so I don’t get caught up in the tornado around me.
  4. Soaptree Yucca. It’s hot here in Arizona. It is the desert. When it’s hot and even muggy, my brain gets mooshy and it’s hard to concentrate and think. That’s when I grab for my Yucca essence that helps me feel clear-headed and focused.
  5. Candi Rose. Since it’s summer, I am in a creative mood. I need those creative juices to flow and inspire me. This is the one rose essence I made recently that really jump starts my imagination. The flower itself is so perky and fun; it smells like candy. When I think of candy, I think of toys and being a kid, and playing. What a great state of mind to be in to create.
  6. Turpin Cactus. In order to take a break in the summer, I need to lighten my load. I’m not usually good at this so this cactus essence assists me. Great if you are one who has too many responsibilities and think you can never take a break.
  7. Aloe. I like to use summer to focus on healing. Whether working with issues from the past I want to reflect on, or to clear up some health issues that I’ve neglected to take care of. Aloe is great additional support. Super for helping your body heal summer colds and allergies.

So, there you have it. The seven essences or nature tools I recommend for summer. Essences can be taken with a glass of water or drops placed under your tongue twice a day or as needed. What’s really cool about essences, is they are vibrational and non-chemical, so they are very safe for sensitive people. You can buy any of these at my Flower Essences for Sensitive page.

empath · empaths · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

My e-book is on Kindle!

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Sweet! My e-book is now available on Amazon Kindle if you have a Kindle device. Go here to order. If  not, you can buy a copy right here at the site in the Ebook section.