Tag: Being an empath

ronni's tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Organize…

designingfairy2 Comments

A little tip for the Sensitive today…I’ve spent most my morning organizing my messy files on the computer. I’ve got old lessons mixed in with new in their file folders, files not in the right folders and in strange places, and basically, a big visual mess. When I am super busy this is usually what happens. Last week was such a week for me and I can tell from just looking at my computer and at my living room. How did my hairbrush end up on my kitchen table?

With all this disorganization, it makes sense that I would feel totally unfocused and even ungrounded. So, I spent the morning rearranging my schedule to reestablish some needed order. I’ve been cursing a little looking at the sheer mess of it all and both my dog girls have exited the room about an hour ago. I am sure, though, once I am done, I will feel a lot more focused and calm. Are you in a similar situation? Need to get things more organized?

Back to work…

spiritual lessons

Just be you

designingfairy9 Comments

I grew up with the “compare and contrast” syndrome. It’s the equivalent of putting out a measuring tape and saying, “Hmmm, I”m a little short here. Might need to be longer here. How I am isn’t right.”

What I’ve learned…

In the work world, I cringe when I come up against this syndrome in its many guises. If I am having an off day, I will fall prey to it and wallow in insecurity, or I will want to jump in the game and compete. Until now.

I finally saw and recognized the syndrome and realized, Hey, this is stupid! Kinda like, the Emperor has no clothes! Can’t you see that?

The advertising world gets off on this syndrome. If I think this celebrity is fabulous, I will want to have her haircut, wear her fancy designer clothes. Or, I will feel inadequate in some way because I don’t look just like her and then I will want to buy her haircare products, join a gym and spend lots of money trying to improve and make me “better.”

When I’ve been exposed to this syndrome, it is the quickest route to depression for me and to be knocked off balance for days. Sure, there’s lots of intuitives out there, sensitive teachers, animal communicators, fairy people, whimsical artists, etc. and I could fall lost in the sea of sameness. I met one lady recently who does all that I do, supposedly— teach the same kind of classes, even creating cards…omg, I am not special anymore! I have to prove I’m different, more special, more something?! But that is such a false impression. Do dentists say, “Wow. What I do isn’t special and I shouldn’t do it anymore. There’s lots of people in town pulling teeth and fixing molars.” Healers, do you hear this?

There’s a new voice in my head now that says, “WTF? Do you hear yourself with this nonsense?” Yes, my head even curses a lot too.

You see, we are like little snowflakes. All different, and our own little patterns of light and shiny that’s a mix match of special in itself. (Does that mean we are all mutts? Yes, in a way.) I could teach the same animal communication class but I guarantee I have my own particular spin on it with of course, stories and humor, because that is how I roll. (There will also have to be some cute little drawings in there, naturally.) Another person may be really good at teaching the same class but  in a very organized, left-brain way with lots of exercises. Who comes to my class, hopefully, matches my energy and my particular snowflake energy offering. They need exactly that combination I offer.  I forget that in the “compare and contrast” moment.

Many times the perfect students for me will write that learning with fun is exactly what worked for them taking my classes. That will feel so good to hear–like two puzzle pieces coming together in that CLICK.

Where does this awful syndrome start? I think it was created from a general feeling of unacceptance of self and our limitations. Either we came in with that to learn acceptance, and we arranged this life before we came in and were high on crack in heaven so we landed into a family that looked at us like we had three horns on our heads and gave us the message continually, “why can’t you just have one horn like us?”  Or, maybe, we had a great family but we ventured into the world and the world wanted us to be a whole different animal, so we tried to change. Whatever its origins, the key is to see it now, because we can change that shaming line of thinking. You were born the way you are because maybe the world needs someone with 3 horns!

I feel that empathic undercurrent many times in social networking. It’s like one huge family trying to compete for mom and dad’s attention. Hey, look at me! I can make you $1000 in 3 days! No, I can solve all your problems in one day! MY program is super super special. Look at my amazing spiritual quote of wisdom. Aren’t I smart? I’m like a god.

The antidote to all of this nonsense is simple in solution but may be a challenge to do. Be as authentic as you can possibly be and stay true to that. Just be you. Spend most of your energy finding that authentic you that’s been buried under tons of layers of other messed-up beliefs. And the best marketing technique is to create a good product that is true to your story, or do the best work you can. Know what you are really good at and what you love to do. Know your strengths and take advantage of them. Then let people know you exist who need what you offer. What you offer is more than enough. There. You now all owe me thousands of dollars for the Ronni Marketing Program. I do accept Paypal. 🙂

ps. if you continually find yourself offering your stuff in environments that you feel you need to jump up and down and prove your worth, it’s just the wrong puzzle piece for you. Don’t keep re-creating your childhood environment. Take your energy elsewhere. See Puzzle Piece post.

Uncategorized

Get those books out there

designingfairy6 Comments

I’ve started book 2 in my Help! I’m Sensitive series and wouldn’t you know it, I’m learning the lessons and tools right away. Good thing to help others, a little uncomfortable for me.  I’m still such a nerd about all of this–I get super-excited about seeing the book going into the local library, etc. I like seeing my name printed on the book. That’s really fun considering since I was six years old I wanted to illustrate and write books, so there’s this deep satisfaction in me. Perhaps I should be more guru-like or “professional”, but that’s not my style. I can probably, then, rule out traveling all over the world with my “I will help you stop being sensitive now in 30 days” seminar with the infomercial.

I just ordered a bunch to put into local stores. A little scary, but fun.

I like the idea of providing real world examples in my book and real tools to apply it. It’s frustrating to me at least, when I read about the problem I’m having in a book and I’m left sitting there with it with nowhere to go. Or, if I am offered “spiritual” tools and lessons that I can’t really apply into my life in a practical, everyday life sense. That one seems to really push my buttons.

psychic

Psychic Observations, etc.

designingfairy2 Comments

Been a few weird weeks lately psychically. Since I journal a great deal, I decided to share some of my observations that I wrote down.

  1. My telepathic ability has increased. Talked to a few intuitive friends and they have noticed similar observations. There’s almost an amplification of what I hear, which means I need to watch out to who I connect to and what I pick up. Are the voices helpful or not helpful?
  2. Many animals are crossing around this time, and celebrities! There must be a door open right now.
  3. I just finished watching the british tv series, Merlin, Season 2. Love, love it. I can’t tell you enough about how this show has touched me. It’s wonderfully done with great attention to the characters’ development, clever stories, and great fight of good against evil where sometimes the line is blurred. I must have lived during Camelot times, because it super resonates. Maybe it’s just the “having an ability many don’t understand or you need to keep hush-hush.”
  4. I feel more open psychically most of the time. Things that shut me off are more obvious now such as exposure to the news, negative people, etc.
  5. Is it me or are the crazy people getting more crazy? Or more of those that have issues and are very unaware seem to be getting more unaware or clinging to their unaware, making them appear more crazy. Did you follow that?
  6. Why isn’t there more mention that they discovered another mayan calendar that continues beyond 2012? Just another Y2K phenomenon?
  7. My empathic sense is growing stronger also which feels like the boundaries between me and those I care about are growing thinner and thinner in terms of communicating/picking up.
  8. My brain is going faster. Maybe it’s an adjustment to the fast-moving world of the web. When I write, I find I continually leave out words I thought I had typed. I used to just do this with leaving out letters.
  9. The more psychic I become, the less tolerance I have of bull shit.
  10. Dreams are becoming more vivid and lucid.

How about you? What are your observations?

empaths · lessons from the fairy · spiritual lessons

We Need More than White Bubbles for protection

designingfairy2 Comments

I had a light bulb moment this morning.

One of the reasons why I left my church, was for me, there wasn’t enough meat. I had graduated, and needed more answers to my many spiritual questions. I was frustrated and aggravated for months and months by the simple “everything is love” and “just love everyone and see their higher self” philosophies. Yes, these statements are true but it didn’t answer anything for me. It throws a lot of things under the rug. If you are an abusive jerk who is running over my boundaries and I just “see your higher self and love you” that usually translates into more boundary invasion and more abuse, because even if I am putting up boundaries, and being nice and loving, someone like that is going to like the challenge of seeing how he can bash right through those boundaries. This more simple line of thinking is  a surface spirituality that ignores the many layers, including what’s thrown under the rug.

This experience had me thinking about psychic protection and what I’ve been teaching. Putting a white bubble around me for protection is nice and sweet, but as an empath, I can still become amazingly sponge-y and open anyway and take in a ton that isn’t mine. That bubble won’t do crap for me if: I don’t know I’m taking something on and am feeling awful; don’t realize I’m taking something on because someone else’s stuff is triggering mine; or a whole bunch of other reasons.

Basically, I determined that we need to tackle the psychological and intellectual stuff underneath our reactions to be fully protected. That’s why my book has so many instances we need different tools for, because it is isn’t a simple thing of putting up a white bubble. A white bubble forms an intention to create a strong boundary around you. You’re putting a STRONG line in the sand that says, “I don’t want this dark stuff near me.” That’s why it works. Your will is loud and clear. As empaths, our major work is creating those very strong boundaries to protect ourselves. The problem is we came in with very thin or little boundaries so we can read the energies around us. It’s a gift really, to be able to do that when we can control it, and there’s BALANCE, which is then a tightrope to walk. I still have days I even curse my sensitivity and get tired of always having to do this much work to keep that balance, but I think it’s a harder world to walk when you are so unaware of any energies at all.

We also need to clear out the beliefs in the way taught to us that prevent us from creating strong boundaries, which for me would include that I have to be nice and loving to everyone around me, which would make the church’s stance counterproductive to what is best for me.

Perhaps, then, the white bubble is a beginner’s technique and folks learn where they are at. And as we go further along this path, deeper and deeper, we are going to need more advanced learning and tools. There’s no judgement, just different levels to drop down into, but just like in school, if I am ready for sixth grade, I’m not going to stay back in third grade for those around me.

And for now, when I empathically carrying something that isn’t mine, I need to go in and ask why. Was it as simple as I was super-open and tired and then I walked into Walmart to buy milk and just got slimed with negative stuff stuck in the air? Or, did I pick up on sadness and I wasn’t acknowledging the sadness I was already feeling before I stepped into the store so it triggered mine? Or even yet, was I still corded and deeply connected to a sad friend who I just talked to on the phone and a part of my energy wanted to reach out and help her? If I see all the energy around me as information, it is all a story to help me better understand myself. It’s not a mean world that I need protection from because it’s trying to hurt me. In a way, it’s strengthening me and my will, and helping me grow.

——————————————————————————————————–

This essay is from my ASC300: Empath Skills class.

empath · empath mentoring · Empath skills · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Focusing and the Sensitive

designingfairy2 Comments

Did you see that shiny thing?

I get distracted easily. As a sensitive person, I tend to get swept away with the tide around me and lose focus. As a creative person, I can get have way too many ideas and want to do them TODAY.

I wrote about this in my book, but I had this lesson reinforced the other day.

In Yogalates class, we bend our bodies into many balancing poses. There’s one pose that contorts my body into a tree, which I really like. I had one leg bent at the knee and my arms outstretched into my swaying leaves.  I found myself checking on the other students to see how they were doing and sure enough, that was my downfall. I fell over. Poor tree. I got myself back into the pose and focused on the floor in front of me and centered on my own tree. I felt my branches reaching to the sky, my legs, um, trunk, strong. I could have stood there for hours! I felt like no wind or storm could knock me down!

After being a tree, my thoughts churned over how I often start my day with lots of goals and get lost. I get pulled by all the threads around me. The internet is the worst. I love my Facebook buddies, but I can get caught up into the loop for hours. Everything is so fast and there’s so much coming at me that is interesting. There goes my goals.

Knowing I have this tendency, I have to fight the pull to very shiny things. They distract me from my own gold. The answer is to re-center, however I can do this. Unfortunately, that means a little less time on Facebook and more time sitting in Nature so I can hear myself. It’s funny how Nature is filled with beauty and shininess but I am pushed more into myself then scattered. It must be the radio dial to CALM vs. Facebook’s dial to EXCITE.

Another tool I am finding that is helping me center and focus is setting goals. I’m reading a great book on receiving that I will probably share later. I like the goal setting idea because know that when I do center, I can be very focused and can easily accomplish what I want. Having goals, keeps the focus on what I want, rather than get pulled by everyone else’s wants.

If Nature isn’t doing the trick, I can always reach for flower essences to help give me that edge and extra support. I like SOAP TREE YUCCA for focusing, and Desert Willow helps me stand tall. SQUASH helps me be strong in sticking to what I need.

The biggest tool is knowing that I can get easily thrown off and to try and limit what I take in. Too much coming in will look like overwhelm in my system, and I will appear “flighty” and scattered when I am really just caught up in the tornado around me.

Be strong trees, Sensitives!

empath · empath mentoring · Empath skills · empaths · empowering women · Intuition · psychic

Are you a popper-outer?

designingfairy

As a sensitive, do you have the habit of popping out? I mean, do you find yourself leaving your body a great deal when either under attack or on overwhelm? Many of us developed this “skill” as child empaths either from an abuse situation, or in my case, from having an illness. As a child, to avoid feeling pain, I’d often find myself “sitting on the ceiling” looking down. I do believe today, this trick allows me to communicate with spirit so easily, or even talk to animals that are halfway across the world. But how do you control this gift? It’s not conducive to many conversations if one moment you are there and the next you are blurry-eyed and vacant, right? (Although with some threatening or clueless people, they don’t even notice you leave.)

I look to Tool #38 from Help! I’m Sensitive.

Problem 38: Leaving your body

Sensitive tool: Grounding

Lisa Campion has a great article on her blog about grounding and shielding for Empaths. She says that empaths, when overloaded, leave their bodies. I can attest to that!

During a period of time, whenever I felt emotionally attacked I’d find myself seeing a symbol and leaving my body to some astral place. From some detective work, I realized that this was a skill I learned in childhood when I had bad stomach problems and I didn’t want to be in my body in pain. So, I’d find myself sitting next to the ceiling looking down.

This skill helps me in my work locate a lost animal or talk to someone who has passed, but doesn’t need to be there in my everyday life. The tool needed here is grounding. I am stronger when I stand tall and firm in my space. Once I felt less vulnerable and stronger and was able to speak my feelings, I left less and less.

Feeling your legs and reaffirming that you are safe is the tool to use here. Carry a tourmaline rock in your pocket. Its healing qualities will pull you right back in and keep you on the earth.

It’s also important to notice, where and with whom you feel this urge to leave. Why are you feeling unsafe? Can you speak your mind or your fears to that person? Perhaps, empathically you are registering that this person is unsafe for you. Honor this as best you can, limit your exposure, and then always make sure there is extra protections for you put in place whenever you have to deal with this person.