Category: spiritual guidance

fairy lessons · Flower essences for sensitive · Spirit Guides · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Did an old button get pushed and trusting

designingfairy

Did you ever notice that when you are shut down and contracted you can’t trust in a benevolent Universe? You don’t feel you are being taken care of. You just feel mad. And that state of being is usually connected to not being able to receive. How can you receive anything when you are curled up in a little ball?

But why did I shut down in the first place? Often, when we don’t feel we are taken care of, it’s very hard to want to give out. Lots of old buttons get pushed. When my needs aren’t heard, I often can be found screaming at my Guides, “Hey, over here! What about me!” That’s when I know my inner child’s old wounds are being activated.

Recently, I saw myself contract big time when money I had counted on wasn’t there. I panicked and threw a temper tantrum. After all, that was a source of support I could count on. That one button gets pushed and then ALL my past experiences trusting about consistency of support come up at once to replay and heal. Have you had this experience? It’s like a domino effect.

I didn’t realize how upset I was about this until the money reappeared again and I could sigh in relief. I felt better, but then I saw that this whole theme came up to heal for a reason.

I looked at consistency in my life and realized I NEED my support system to have this important aspect. I’m an earth sign and part fairy: I NEED grounding and strong foundations to feel safe enough to fly. I need support that isn’t attached to any form of shaming too, which I felt as a child. I thought about times in my life when I didn’t have a strong foundation to hold on to. I would gather those were the times I was called “flighty.”

I’m an earth sign and part fairy: I NEED grounding and strong foundations to feel safe enough to fly.

So, inconsistent support was often linked to my feeling forgotten and my needs not being heard. Yup, that sounds like how my inner child had felt.

That makes sense then, when I look to God and my Guides/Angels for support, I have the same fears with them–will they be there when I need them? Will I have decent, truthful guidance when I need it? Are my needs being heard? Do I matter?

I need to separate out the past, dysfunctional system I’ve placed onto my spiritual support. Weed out what was then and didn’t work. I can ask my Guidance for help with this and be patient with myself.

And one thing that dawned on me that is really important–if I am dealing with people or organizations that mirror the same experience I had as a child — I am going to have the same button pushed and am going to experience the same inconsistent support that I can’t rely on. That’s the time to seek out healthy support that is the opposite.

Suggested tool:

One of my favorite flower essences for trusting is White Pansy. I wrote about this essence here. You can purchase it in my store here.

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · psychic · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons · spirituality

Should we just love everyone?

designingfairy3 Comments

Designing Fairy mouths off…

I’ve been pondering a lot of messages floating about on the internet and social groups lately. Even my old church promoted just loving everyone and seeing their higher selves. I think that is an excellent idea, but there needs to be disclaimers with these types of messages.

Do you love the person who is abusive to you? Just smile and see their higher self? What about the jerk pushing over your boundaries and walking right through them? Some of this line of love thinking feels very hippy-I’m-high-on-something kind of crap when I am encountering these kind of individuals, so I am guessing, that’s where my anger comes in.

Here’s my advice: yes, love them. See their higher selves and RUN! I mean frickin’ run for that damn exit. Let them bother someone else then, and run past their boundaries and treat them like crap. Honey, I am not going to sit there and see the good they could possibly be, or that they are souls just like me underneath. Yes, so true, but right now they are toxic to me and I’m going to RUN!

I think the bottom line under all of that teaching about love is, do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to want to be surrounded by people who really care about your feelings and needs, and truly care about your boundaries? Do they hear you when you speak about your concerns, or, do they act like they hear you, but then trample over you anyway? Do you love yourself enough to not be abused by someone else’s bad behavior, that you might understand underneath why they are acting the way they are, but right now you will keep yourself safe and out of the line of fire?

So, yes, it is all about LOVE. Just love you, and love them enough to let them learn their own lessons, but far over there.

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · healing · Misc. Psychic · psychic · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons · writing

Next Tour Destination

designingfairy

Follow me as we pack our bags and head on over to Australia again! It’s the lovely and very wise Monique Williams and her blog and coaching site. Monique addresses Tip and Tool #49 and she does it beautifully.

http://moniquetwilliams.com/2012/03/01/a-tip-for-the-sensitive-just-walk-away/

Did you order a copy of your book yet? You can get the book right here from the Author!

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · fairy lessons · healing art · ronni's tips · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons · whimsical illustration · writing

This week’s message

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fairies · fairy lessons · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Weird dream tied into old lesson

designingfairy

I recently had a really wild dream that my bed was outside (probably my desire to live in Indian Gardens). It was a comfortable brass post bed, but I looked down to find I was surrounded by weeds all around me. I started pulling them in exasperation, but then I noticed I had pulled out a few daisies–that which I love!

I was talking to Bill the other day about this dream and we both nodded our heads in confusion.I figured it was telling me that maybe I wouldn’t like living outdoors after all. But I had the real meaning of the dream all along.

Here’s the funny part…reading an old post and lesson I had written about being thrown off by negative beliefs and planted bad seeds that looked like weeds, I had my light bulb moment! How funny my own lessons would make it into dreams to teach me again. And, what a good reminder and warning that what I was feeling was those bad weeds overtaking the yard and I was not only ignoring the precious buds coming up, but I had pulled them mistakenly out of the ground!

Cool, huh?

(I reposted that lesson below.)

spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Forced to change

designingfairy

Last post, I talked about finding the right puzzle for your piece–your right fit. After I wrote that entry, I had instant validation that Prescott was indeed not the right fit for me at the time. I had sent out an announcement to my one email list about my book.  An old acquaintance accidently forwarded to me a note she wrote to another friend. I obviously wasn’t supposed to get that email. She mentioned she did think I was nice gal and to check out my book, but thought I was “very flightly” at the time. Ouch! She didn’t see me back then. I’m not sure anyone in that town did. But to be fair, I was experiencing major upheaval at the time.

Sometimes, what once fit can become a lousy fit when we grow and change. How do you know you are ready to let go of something? I’ll share my feelings with my recent decision to leave a group I had belonged to.

Stage one: a growing “icky” feeling that something isn’t right.

Stage two: annoyance sets in. What once felt joyful feels heavy and uncomfortable.You might have bad experiences where you once had positive ones.

Stage three: You notice they don’t perceive things like you do, even when things seem very obvious. They don’t hear you. You have that “stuck in the cocoon too long” feeling and want to burst forth into a butterfly. Bad experiences increase or arguments. What you are noticing is your needs aren’t being met or honored.

Stage four: Crucial point:  you are either able to clear things up with with communication, and the community/group/job or friend  is able and willing to  change and grow alongside you. You will notice this because you feel heard. They show signs of learning and understanding. They get it. You get it. Beautiful! Stop here at Stage four. This puzzle still fits. 

Or, you will feel seriously uncomfortable, maybe even argumentative. They have no idea what you are talking about or maybe even that there is a problem. They aren’t ready for change, but you are. Resist the overwhelming need to teach them.  They aren’t ready.  They are happy where they are at. Joy is absent altogether at this point.

Stage five: the whack on the head. Your soul is pisssed you aren’t listening if you are still there. You may feel sick, or upset all the time. You might have free-flowing anxiety or anger. You try to make it work. Things will be made obvious it’s time to move on to a better fit.

Stage six: hopefully,  lesson is finally learned. It just became the wrong puzzle. Allow grief for the loss. Time to find a new puzzle you  fit into perfectly.

ronni's tips · self esteem · sensitivity · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

A book on Boundaries and Focusing on the Solution

designingfairy

I was guided this weekend to head over to my local Goodwill shop. Now this wasn’t twisting my arm, because I LOVE that store treasure-hunting. Their book selections are hit or miss and I was grateful I landed on a day that was a HIT. Apparently, someone who is into psychic communication and other forms of healing cleaned out their bookshelf. I found several books that would assist me in what I want to teach right now including color healing and a few books on boundary setting, which is perfect for those that are sensitive.

The book on boundaries, Boundaries with Relationships by Charles T. Whitfield,  has some excellent tools, but perusing through it, I noticed I didn’t feel as excited as I did when I was reading the color healing books. Was the info bringing up too much upset? I could feel a ton of anger rise from inside of me from the many times I allowed others to trample or ignore my boundaries. I also felt a little slimed; even negative. What was happening?

I slept on it. No, literally. Woke up this morning and the book was under my butt, as well as my glasses that looked a little mushed out of place. Perhaps I was integrating the material more. But I also had a new awareness of why I felt uncomfortable. Many self help books are designed to package a set of tools. There are some good ones out there that present them well. After reading this one, I felt labeled, “bad,” (and there were plenty of examples given of what is good and what is bad). Crap, everyone has acted the bad part. Talk about unattainable.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some excellent parts of the book also, but the slimey feeling was what I wanted to look at.

Guidance this morning was very clear: Focus on the solution and you feel empowered. Focus on the problem, and you are stuck IN the problem.

I see this when folks post videos or comments about what is happening that is wrong on this planet, whether genetically-altered food or bad politics. Hearing that news is like hearing about a case of animal abuse. I am left feeling upset, angry, and helpless against the problem. Helpless = slimed.

I like books and teaching that do not keep me stuck in a label, but helps me get out of that hole into a new role. I’m really digging Julia Cameron’s book, Prosperous Heart right now. I concluded that she teaches like how I want to, by story, and then by supplying a tool to help you empower yourself or shift your thinking. In her exercises, I focus on what I want and I feel hopeful and excited, versus what is not working. I don’t look at lack of abundance, but about what I want to create and the small doable steps. It is important to go back to the past for answers and beliefs that don’t work for you, but I sure don’t want to stay there. Reading her book, I am not labeled BAD because I SHOULD have more if I was just doing the SECRET right. I think I had the same reaction to that line of thinking while reading  the Boundaries book. There are enormous amounts of labels, time periods for how long it would take for when I was ‘better,” and most everyone I know are moving very fast right now in their healing beyond any so-called timetables. No one heals when they are stuck under a label, especially when they stay in their pain.

Perhaps it is my upbringing that is the button being pressed here. We were raised with psychology night and day. My father is a psychologist, my mother was a social worker. We were punished or admonished by psychological terms and labels. I would have preferred just being yelled at. Either way, what it produced in me at the time was a sense of dis-empowering; it was just another way to feel shame. I suppose it has the same effect as different educational programs that “weed” out people so only the strong can survive. I went to one design program that set impossible expectations and deadlines and gave out ample criticism. I walked away with not tools, but panic attacks. When I switched to a more unconventional college in another state, expression was valued, grades went from only A to C. The program was not only doable, but fun. And the result? I thrived! In fact, I still feel great love when I think about it. The school focused on the attributes of the students and brought them out (the solution).

Having any problem now, I want to focus on what tools I need now to create solution and that will give me more hope and self power. That’s moving forward out of the hole.

Flower essences for sensitive · healing · Intuition · spiritual guidance

Flower Essences for Fear

designingfairy2 Comments

The energies lately have been intense and bizarre. I’ve been doing a great deal of releasing of old stuff lately as different buttons have been pushed and poked at. Releasing is never really fun or pretty, but very necessary. With releasing usually comes FEAR. It’s one of those big emotions that blanket all the other ones we’ve kept inside. I’ve been guided back to Nature for support and help. Here’s some really good flower essences that help ease fear. Those with stars next to them are offered in my online shop on this website.

  1. One of my favorite essences is Bach Remedies’ Aspen. It’s perfect for free-flowing anxiety, psychic contamination (when you are empathically picking up others’ fears.) A few drops under the tongue is all that is needed. This essence can be repeated often until you feel calm again. Bach Remedies can be found in most health food stores.
  2. Fear of moving forward? Gilia* is a cool purple flower that is great for that. Take it with Squash* (the balls essence) and you will be forging ahead in spite of any fear.
  3. Fear for loved ones and their paths? Take Bach Remedies’ Red Chestnut. It’s for the worrier.
  4. Panic? That kind of fear? Take Rock Rose or Rescue Remedy, both Bach Remedies. If I fly, which I hardly ever do, I take the Rescue Remedy. I took this one when I recently made it to the dentist. Oooh, scary.

Enjoy the support of Nature! When I am lost in fears, one of the best thing I can do is head out to Nature to re-balance and to feel more grounded. When I am grounded, or calm, I can then see and think straight and can see what fears are legitimate, and which ones are just old stuff coming to the surface.

spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons · writing

It’s My Birthday What I’ve Learned List

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I’ve always seen birthdays as the beginning of a new year. It’s at that time, we look over our lives and do a sum-up or a “where am I now” assessment. If it’s been a bad year, the birthday can be a little tough to handle. A good year, a breeze. This year, I look back and see a beautiful yet challenging year of real growth. Before I move forward, I’d like to reflect on what I learned. Maybe you can relate to some of these lessons. Drum roll please.

  1. There are many avenues to solve a problem or find answers. There is no ONE WAY. This includes in medicine, religion, and in life.
  2. Love, real love endures, and can’t be destroyed.
  3. Never leave hamburger in your garbage can for too long unless you like lots of crawly bugs. (Maggot Invasion of 2011)
  4. Trust in your guidance, but not blindly. Keep track of what you are receiving and what was a truth for you. We build trust with our spiritual helpers just like in any other relationship. You are creating a solid foundation.
  5. You know what is best for you.
  6. DO NOT leave out sweet potatoes on the counter unless you want them to be stolen. Protect what matters to you.
  7. People will surprise you–in good ways and in bad, but don’t lose hope in people. Encourage the good. It’s their choice from there. And some folks are just so broken they can’t  “act good.”
  8. The greatest joys are in the simple acts of love — being cuddled, a wet nose up against yours, a kind word from a friend, a heart-spoken loving letter.
  9. Sometimes it’s not your battle.
  10. We all just really want to be seen. (Think the movie AVATAR).
  11. I NEED to draw and write. It’s not a fun hobby. It’s my soul’s voice.
  12. True friends will hear you and what really matters to you and how you feel. And will HONOR that. I am grateful for mine.
  13. We sure don’t need to recreate our childhood patterns over and over, and yet we do. The key is to figure it out and get to those core beliefs that aren’t yours and throw them away. Then, with understanding you can have compassion for yourself and others. We are all just learning.
  14. God sent down dogs and cats so we can have just the slightest idea of what loving really is like. We had forgotten.
  15. Don’t eat a whole bag of microwave popcorn in one sitting.
  16. You can survive anything with good, consistent support; most of the time.
  17. Fairy energy is the key to happiness.
  18. We are connected to those we love. No amount of physical separation matters. They are  just a thought or feeling away.
  19. You have needs too and are just as important as everyone else’s.
  20. The key against abuse is to tell your story. Abuse is about powerlessness and stifling your voice. Let your voice be heard. That’s where your real power is.
  21. Critical people are usually just pissed off.
  22. I close with the words from a great movie, The Help. “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

Happy Holidays everyone! Fairy blessings,

Ronni

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · healing · sensitivity · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Is empathic residue or triggers? Nasty fairy attacks

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Like most of us that write or teach, I usually am learning what I need to share that week. With all this great lunar energy has come some good lessons and lots of insight. The lessons being learned haven’t been all too comfortable but big.

Yesterday I had a cranky or nasty fairy attack. I don’t have a great deal of patience as it is, but I was feeling super-impatient with others.

I went to Unity church yesterday feeling good and relaxed and found myself halfway through the morning cranky, drained and wanting to sleep. Keep in mind that the room was warm and even the Rev. complained that there were a few who were yawning through his lesson.

I concluded that I was picking up some nasty stuff including the general mood in the room of malaise. I did have a cranky encounter with one friend , who was being super-critical, and another who felt demanding to me because he was miffed I gave him the cold shoulder, so I figured I was picking up their stuff coming at me. That made logical sense and would explain my mood and energy drain.

Being an empath, which I am sure you can relate to, we can often pick up other folks’ stuff unknowingly even if they are thinking about us from far away. Discerning who and what it is you are picking up is crucial detective work. But what if what’s really happening is someone else’s SH*T is triggering your SH*T?

After a good night’s sleep asking for guidance, I realized that is exactly what occurred. Yes, I picked up on the mood of the room, but it was my interactions with my friends’ stuff that got me reeling and upset. ANGER is a great indicator that someone has blasted through your boundaries, which is a little of what had happened. But with new insight I realized that the big issue I had been working on from my past was being mirrored in their behavior towards me. They had just given me little clues.

When I woke up, I made a list of those behaviors that really peeved me and I could see there was a pattern developing. I continually got very upset when someone else demands of me with no regard to my needs, or is controlling and forceful while trampling my boundaries. This pattern was one that I grew up with and I probably wasn’t aware consciously that it upset me so much back then, but it stayed buried inside me until others push those specific buttons.

What I learned from this experience is not only that sometimes it isn’t empathic feeling I am picking up but those trigger buttons, but I also noticed that there isn’t a pat answer or explanation for every experience we have. If I had stopped there, and concluded that I was just sponging off someone’s feelings, or someone was psychic attacking me, or even that “bad spirits” were draining me, or, that I wasn’t “loving enough and they were only mirrors,”  I wouldn’t have gotten to the meat of that particular situation. That is one big thing I have against some new age or spiritual teachings. Every story is different, and that means different answers and different solutions. Blanket answers like “it’s all just fear or love,” may be true at the core, but doesn’t give real world day to day conclusions. Nor is “just love others” when the human relationship is so complex with all our stuff bouncing off each other! And I don’t know about you, but when someone tramples my boundaries or is abusive to me, just throwing love their way when I am supposed to be speaking up for myself and screaming NO! is not my answer.