Category: sensitivity

being sensitive · empath · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Extrovert vs. Introvert

designingfairy

Which are you?

My folks are up visiting from New Jersey. My stepmother is a complete extrovert, and my Dad is a classic introvert. According to the Myers Briggs classification tests, an introvert is not the quiet and shy wallflower that you overlooked sitting in the back of the room, which is a popular misconception. How we navigate and process the world is classified by extrovert or introvert. Extroverts are recharged by being around more people or excitement and interaction. Introverts are recharged by quiet, alone time. They need time to digest what they’ve experienced and reconnect to themselves.

Classic example was after a long day visiting the local zoo, Out of Africa, my stepmother was ready to keep going. My Dad and I were cranky and ready to fall over. A little more stimulation and I would have overloaded for sure and my circuits would have fried. It’s not being “too sensitive” that does that, but the fact that I take in all kinds of information at once. A little goes a long way. I dive deep into the experience. Any more stimulation or input would be like adding more coffee to the filled coffee cup, spilling brown liquid everywhere over the table; there’s nowhere to go.

It’s not a right or wrong situation, although for years I’ve had to try to explain myself to extroverts who had no idea what was wrong with me when I pooped out early on long, interactive days, or needed alone space after experiencing a party of people. I definitely internalized that I was flawed or “wrong” until I discovered the classifications and felt deeply liberated! The world needs both. The big key here isn’t that we are like each other and change, but we respect each others’ needs.

And incidently, I understand the needs of both types. The last time I took the Myers Briggs test, I had an interesting revelation. My scores were smack down in the middle between Introvert and Extrovert! This would explain my continuous struggle for balance even within myself. I could see my need for people and interaction, but too much of that, and I usually got sick, anxious or headache-y, and desperately needed space. Not enough people interaction, I get lonely and moody. Add all that extra sensitivity, and I am thinking I lean more towards the Introvert side in terms of needs. Perhaps, you can relate.

Resources to check out:

The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

My Care of the Sensitive class, of course

Myers Briggs test

ronni's tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Organize…

designingfairy2 Comments

A little tip for the Sensitive today…I’ve spent most my morning organizing my messy files on the computer. I’ve got old lessons mixed in with new in their file folders, files not in the right folders and in strange places, and basically, a big visual mess. When I am super busy this is usually what happens. Last week was such a week for me and I can tell from just looking at my computer and at my living room. How did my hairbrush end up on my kitchen table?

With all this disorganization, it makes sense that I would feel totally unfocused and even ungrounded. So, I spent the morning rearranging my schedule to reestablish some needed order. I’ve been cursing a little looking at the sheer mess of it all and both my dog girls have exited the room about an hour ago. I am sure, though, once I am done, I will feel a lot more focused and calm. Are you in a similar situation? Need to get things more organized?

Back to work…

empath · empath mentoring · Empath skills · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Focusing and the Sensitive

designingfairy2 Comments

Did you see that shiny thing?

I get distracted easily. As a sensitive person, I tend to get swept away with the tide around me and lose focus. As a creative person, I can get have way too many ideas and want to do them TODAY.

I wrote about this in my book, but I had this lesson reinforced the other day.

In Yogalates class, we bend our bodies into many balancing poses. There’s one pose that contorts my body into a tree, which I really like. I had one leg bent at the knee and my arms outstretched into my swaying leaves.  I found myself checking on the other students to see how they were doing and sure enough, that was my downfall. I fell over. Poor tree. I got myself back into the pose and focused on the floor in front of me and centered on my own tree. I felt my branches reaching to the sky, my legs, um, trunk, strong. I could have stood there for hours! I felt like no wind or storm could knock me down!

After being a tree, my thoughts churned over how I often start my day with lots of goals and get lost. I get pulled by all the threads around me. The internet is the worst. I love my Facebook buddies, but I can get caught up into the loop for hours. Everything is so fast and there’s so much coming at me that is interesting. There goes my goals.

Knowing I have this tendency, I have to fight the pull to very shiny things. They distract me from my own gold. The answer is to re-center, however I can do this. Unfortunately, that means a little less time on Facebook and more time sitting in Nature so I can hear myself. It’s funny how Nature is filled with beauty and shininess but I am pushed more into myself then scattered. It must be the radio dial to CALM vs. Facebook’s dial to EXCITE.

Another tool I am finding that is helping me center and focus is setting goals. I’m reading a great book on receiving that I will probably share later. I like the goal setting idea because know that when I do center, I can be very focused and can easily accomplish what I want. Having goals, keeps the focus on what I want, rather than get pulled by everyone else’s wants.

If Nature isn’t doing the trick, I can always reach for flower essences to help give me that edge and extra support. I like SOAP TREE YUCCA for focusing, and Desert Willow helps me stand tall. SQUASH helps me be strong in sticking to what I need.

The biggest tool is knowing that I can get easily thrown off and to try and limit what I take in. Too much coming in will look like overwhelm in my system, and I will appear “flighty” and scattered when I am really just caught up in the tornado around me.

Be strong trees, Sensitives!

healing · Intuition · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

10 Things on the Internet That Send Me Backwards

designingfairy

It’s not that I’m too sensitive, I just have an excellent radar of what gives me energy and what takes it away. The problem is I need to listen to that radar as the built-in gift that it is!

My Radar showed me this week the 10 things that send me backwards into a radio dial of YUCK vs. YAY while on the Internet.

  1. Reading Local News. Here in Yavapai County we have the most BEEP’ed-up and corrupt system. It’s like the local agencies and judicial system are all high on crack making decisions, and spend most of their time trying to cover up how much they screw up. It’s soooo disillusioning and brings up feelings of hopelessness.
  2. High School news. I will say it if no one else does–why do I want to hear about folks who I went to high school with so many years later? Didn’t I escape being an insecure, clumsy teenager with superficial silliness? Does it even matter anymore? And the high school friends I want to be in touch with, I am already in touch with. Ugh. There’s also the “how is my life now?” thing that happens in your head. I think it’s called midlife crisis. Another Ugh that spirals down.
  3. Politics.The politicians right now are all playing mean head games and no one is honest and upfront. It’s an empath’s nightmare.
  4. Celebrity deaths. So, so sad. What a waste. Such heartbreak.
  5. Spam. I don’t want to grow my manhood two inches or pick up hot dates. If I get one more “Adriana wants to talk to you”, I will scream! Spammers, do me a favor. At least be better marketers. When you send these things out, find out if you are sending to a man or woman at least.
  6. Angelina Jolie news. I really don’t care Angelina is now engaged to Brad Pitt. Let’s face it. Beyond the personas, you know you pick up that they are pretty screwed up underneath. Besides, I don’t have a relationship with these people. They aren’t my people.
  7. The internet’s use of women as parts. I see that kind of stuff and I feel like my power is being stripped away from me until all that is left of me is how big my boobs are or how thin I am.
  8. High School. I know I said that one, but I think it really pushes a button. Because I’m feeling Yucky again. How many years ago was that for cripe’s sake?
  9. Photos of Abused Dogs. I know you want to arrange awareness for what happened to a poor, abused dog, but I’m visual. This image won’t leave me for days. Plus, I’m empathic and can pick up the dog’s pain. It’s like I’m getting abused seeing these photos. That doesn’t help your cause or the dog.
  10. Spiritual Quotes that don’t really say anything. I like my guidance to assist me or give me tools or a new awareness. Crap like, “Just be love,” doesn’t work for me. It’s just floaty and airy, and I think you are probably smoking something good vs. being enlightened.

Okay, now that you are annoyed and bothered with me, let’s go for the opposite.

The Antidote

  1. Real Support. I’ve really loved and enjoyed all the beautiful, inspiring and loving people I’ve met on Facebook and through my website. Where did you come from? Where were you most of my life? I am so grateful for your inner beauty and how much you have gifted me. Such lovely community!
  2. Photos of dogs doing cute things. I especially love stories about dogs who are heros and make a difference in their people’s lives. My heart just sings when I see these things.
  3. The right words. Don’t you just love when someone posts something that you so needed to hear that day? It’s pure guidance channeled through them.
  4. Good news. I love to hear good news about my friends and how life is being hopeful and positive for them. That helps me feel more hopeful for my own life.
  5. Authenticity. I would much rather hear someone being real, like saying, they feel like crap or are sad. Or they are frustrated because this manifesting thing isn’t working! I hate the false positive stuff.
  6. Inspiration. As an artist, I can be fed a simple picture and be inspired to make a slew of things. Watching one episode of Project Runway on Netflix has me redesigning my clothes and dressing the dog.
  7. Information that really helps. A lively discussion can lead me to the right supplement to give to Sarah, or whatever else I’m researching in the moment.
  8. Fairy anything. Like duh. Of course I’d like this. Show me a fairy house or a beautiful flower and I’m fed.
  9. Sometimes I like the Astrology or God Wants You to Know statuses, when they are spot on. Then they fall into the category of #3.
  10. Humor. Boy, I love how easily humor can lift my mood so quickly. I then take life so less seriously. One really good episode of Saturday Night Live on Hulu and I’m practically peeing in my pants.
empath · empath mentoring · empaths · sensitivity

What kind of empath are you?

designingfairy9 Comments

I’m a Nature/Spirit/Animal Empath. What does that mean? I have no idea. No really, it means that as an empath, I am attuned to or can communicate as an empath to those realms.

Awhile back, I posted a fun quiz to help you find out what kind of empath you are. With this info, you know what direction to focus on to develop your empathic abilities. Here it is:

The “What Kind of Empath am I?” quiz

Circle in your head or write down the numbers which apply.

  1. You come down with a sudden, horrible stomach ache. Logical mind says it was a bad lunch or the flu going around, but then your dog enters the room and pukes on the carpet, and looks a little green around the edges. (physical or animal empath)
  2. While shopping at the nearby Walmart, you enter the frozen food section and want to burst out into tears. You feel overwhelming, deep sadness and loneliness. (emotional empath or allergy to poorly designed boxed foods)
  3. While relaxing on the couch you suddenly hear words come from your dog, “I want to go for a walk now.” (animal empath or the result of smoking too many mushrooms)
  4. Sitting in the backyard you feel a wave of joy come over you and a sense of peace, and you have an urge to smell the rose bush (nature empath, or the mushrooms are still doing their stuff from the day before)
  5. You feel down and angry when two minutes before you felt peaceful. Your closest friend then calls and says he is feeling down and angry. (emotional empath)
  6. Two days before a major earthquake hits another country you have nightmares of earthquakes, anxiety or feelings of doom (mission empath)
  7. You know that one fern plant needs more water and to be placed in a sunnier window (nature empath or you’ve read a lot of books on houseplants)
  8. You receive strong messages or channelings that will help the world regarding self esteem (mission empath or still feel the effects of the mushrooms)
  9. You enter a hospital and feel fear, sadness, anxiety. You walk by one room and feel a pain in your side (physical empath or emotional empath)
Circled one or more nature empath: NATURE EMPATH you’re tuned into the Nature Spirits and Fairies. Welcome aboard fellow fairy.
Circled one or more emotional empath: EMOTIONAL EMPATH you’re tuned into the emotions of others. You just need tools and good boundaries.
Circled one or more physical empath: PHYSICAL EMPATH you’re tuned into the physical ailments of others. You will just need to discern how to get rid of the feelings and not take it on.
Circled one or more animal empath: ANIMAL EMPATH you’re tuned into animals and can help them greatly.
Circled one or more mission empath: MISSION EMPATH you’re tuned into the world and your gifts will be used to help the planet.
Circled mushrooms: whoa! Where did you get that stuff?
after death communication · book reviews · Intuition · Misc. Psychic · new thinking · psychic · sensitivity · Spirits

Book Review: Paranormal

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Paranormal: My Life in Pursuit of the Afterlife by Raymond Moody, MD, and Paul Perry (HarperOne, 2012)

I was asked by TLC Book Tours to review this book in my blog. Since I love anything on the subject of the paranormal, and have read Dr. Moody’s previous book, Life After Life, I jumped at the chance.

The book’s title is misleading as it is more about Dr. Moody’s life-long pursuit of proving that the near-death experience is a normal happening in the human existence vs. “paranormal.”

This is a memoir that begins with him explaining his fascination with the subject after being told of an uncle’s childhood dog that appeared to come back to life after being hit by truck, but later reappeared in the flesh.

His was a loving, close-knit family that encouraged his curiosity but was later disrupted when his father reappeared after being sent away to war. It’s his father’s reappearance that started his fight between his father’s world, with a surgeon’s mind of only logic and facts, vs. the exploration of the unseen and seemingly impossible.

Another important key in his quest was the loss of his beloved, nurturing grandfather, who later has a stroke and was unable to fully communicate or support his grandson as he once did.

How I differ in many of the reviewers on this tour, is I, like many of my blog readers, have a deep knowing that there is an afterlife. I don’t need to be convinced. I’ve had multiple visits from “spirits” throughout my life starting when I was very young, and the seemingly impossible is my norm, with each day and each exploration opening up the doorway of perception to what is real. I didn’t read this book as a skeptic, because I have this ability. So, instead, I read his life tale cheerleading him on that he indeed would find lots of proof of the afterlife he could document and share with the rest of the world, and he does, through his many scientific experiments.

His beginning experiments were met with enthusiasm, but the more he advanced in his career he ventured into more riskier or more “woo-woo” areas such as crystal-scrying, that led to using mirrors to meet with deceased loved ones, that  much of the medical community, especially his logic-bearing, rigid father concluded he had lost his mind. He had veered too out of the mainstream for them to accept.

Paramount to his struggle throughout his life, and what I thought was ironic, was that the medical community he worked with solely based their conclusions on logic, and not any form of true intuition or perception, therefore, they missed the crucial diagnosis he had of a dangerous thyroid illness that kept him ill most of his life!  But it was this same illness that allowed him to eventually have true, first-hand understanding of his life-long work into the near-death experience.

I enjoyed the book which held my interest. It is a little slow-going at first as I was anxious to jump right into his near-death work, but knowing his early beginnings contributed and helped me understand his overall story better.

Walking away from reading it, I did have the thought that his pursuit for later contact with passed loved ones was on the surface a desire to help those that are grieving, but maybe more of a personal desire to finally heal that personal wound of experiencing many loved ones in childhood who were there in physical body but unattainable/untouchable in spirit.

Thank you to Trish for allowing me to review this book. To continue on in the book tour and read what others have reviewed go to the master schedule here.

Misc. Psychic · psychic · psychic tips · ronni's tips · sensitivity

Ronni’s Psychic Tip

designingfairy

This one is for the sensitive:

Feeling suddenly weepy or very emotional? It may not be empathic sponging (picking up other people’s stuff)! Check your blood sugar! You might be a little low and just need to eat something.

fairy lessons · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

10 Things That Are Designed to Drive You Crazy Slowly

designingfairy2 Comments

A Little Fairy Joy to Make You Chuckle…

Frustrated? Nerves on edge? Feeling a little nutty? You are not alone. There is an evil plot to slowly drive us crazy through objects and inventions that were released into society.

  1. Venetian Blinds. There is a science to pulling the two strings in at just the right combination to be able to adjust the blinds to the right level. I usually pull, and the blinds are up to the ceiling or fall down and touch the floor.
  2. Double-stick tape is a wonderful device invented to stick paper to other paper, but it also adheres to your fingers really well. And your clothes. And your dog.
  3. Tight bottle caps. I always think about, when I will be a little old lady with not a great deal of strength in my hands, how in the world will I open up the jars or cans when they are so strongly kept shut?
  4. Pens that don’t work. Much worse are pens that work for a few days and then you spend the next  few days trying to make them work again.
  5. The touch-screen cell phone. Great invention that allows my phone to call whoever it wants just by me throwing it down onto the bed or into my purse.
  6. Bags with holes. You only notice the holes after you loaded up the bag.
  7. Glue Stick is much like double-stick tape. Somehow, whenever I use glue stick it manages to stick on everywhere on the page but the paper I intended it for.
  8. Missing socks. You know there is an evil fairy that comes in and takes solitary socks and hides them from you. It could also be a government conspiracy plan. I am thinking that this fairy also puts the holes in the bags.
  9. Propane bills. Start out with a reasonable, small bill. When you really need the heat, throw in an enormous bill just to see customers go crazy by the unexpected.
  10. Fancy buttons on pants when you really, really, have to use the bathroom. That’s just cruel.

Fairy blessings,

ronni's tips · self esteem · sensitivity · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

A book on Boundaries and Focusing on the Solution

designingfairy

I was guided this weekend to head over to my local Goodwill shop. Now this wasn’t twisting my arm, because I LOVE that store treasure-hunting. Their book selections are hit or miss and I was grateful I landed on a day that was a HIT. Apparently, someone who is into psychic communication and other forms of healing cleaned out their bookshelf. I found several books that would assist me in what I want to teach right now including color healing and a few books on boundary setting, which is perfect for those that are sensitive.

The book on boundaries, Boundaries with Relationships by Charles T. Whitfield,  has some excellent tools, but perusing through it, I noticed I didn’t feel as excited as I did when I was reading the color healing books. Was the info bringing up too much upset? I could feel a ton of anger rise from inside of me from the many times I allowed others to trample or ignore my boundaries. I also felt a little slimed; even negative. What was happening?

I slept on it. No, literally. Woke up this morning and the book was under my butt, as well as my glasses that looked a little mushed out of place. Perhaps I was integrating the material more. But I also had a new awareness of why I felt uncomfortable. Many self help books are designed to package a set of tools. There are some good ones out there that present them well. After reading this one, I felt labeled, “bad,” (and there were plenty of examples given of what is good and what is bad). Crap, everyone has acted the bad part. Talk about unattainable.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some excellent parts of the book also, but the slimey feeling was what I wanted to look at.

Guidance this morning was very clear: Focus on the solution and you feel empowered. Focus on the problem, and you are stuck IN the problem.

I see this when folks post videos or comments about what is happening that is wrong on this planet, whether genetically-altered food or bad politics. Hearing that news is like hearing about a case of animal abuse. I am left feeling upset, angry, and helpless against the problem. Helpless = slimed.

I like books and teaching that do not keep me stuck in a label, but helps me get out of that hole into a new role. I’m really digging Julia Cameron’s book, Prosperous Heart right now. I concluded that she teaches like how I want to, by story, and then by supplying a tool to help you empower yourself or shift your thinking. In her exercises, I focus on what I want and I feel hopeful and excited, versus what is not working. I don’t look at lack of abundance, but about what I want to create and the small doable steps. It is important to go back to the past for answers and beliefs that don’t work for you, but I sure don’t want to stay there. Reading her book, I am not labeled BAD because I SHOULD have more if I was just doing the SECRET right. I think I had the same reaction to that line of thinking while reading  the Boundaries book. There are enormous amounts of labels, time periods for how long it would take for when I was ‘better,” and most everyone I know are moving very fast right now in their healing beyond any so-called timetables. No one heals when they are stuck under a label, especially when they stay in their pain.

Perhaps it is my upbringing that is the button being pressed here. We were raised with psychology night and day. My father is a psychologist, my mother was a social worker. We were punished or admonished by psychological terms and labels. I would have preferred just being yelled at. Either way, what it produced in me at the time was a sense of dis-empowering; it was just another way to feel shame. I suppose it has the same effect as different educational programs that “weed” out people so only the strong can survive. I went to one design program that set impossible expectations and deadlines and gave out ample criticism. I walked away with not tools, but panic attacks. When I switched to a more unconventional college in another state, expression was valued, grades went from only A to C. The program was not only doable, but fun. And the result? I thrived! In fact, I still feel great love when I think about it. The school focused on the attributes of the students and brought them out (the solution).

Having any problem now, I want to focus on what tools I need now to create solution and that will give me more hope and self power. That’s moving forward out of the hole.

empath · empath mentoring · empaths · healing · sensitivity · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

Is empathic residue or triggers? Nasty fairy attacks

designingfairy2 Comments

Like most of us that write or teach, I usually am learning what I need to share that week. With all this great lunar energy has come some good lessons and lots of insight. The lessons being learned haven’t been all too comfortable but big.

Yesterday I had a cranky or nasty fairy attack. I don’t have a great deal of patience as it is, but I was feeling super-impatient with others.

I went to Unity church yesterday feeling good and relaxed and found myself halfway through the morning cranky, drained and wanting to sleep. Keep in mind that the room was warm and even the Rev. complained that there were a few who were yawning through his lesson.

I concluded that I was picking up some nasty stuff including the general mood in the room of malaise. I did have a cranky encounter with one friend , who was being super-critical, and another who felt demanding to me because he was miffed I gave him the cold shoulder, so I figured I was picking up their stuff coming at me. That made logical sense and would explain my mood and energy drain.

Being an empath, which I am sure you can relate to, we can often pick up other folks’ stuff unknowingly even if they are thinking about us from far away. Discerning who and what it is you are picking up is crucial detective work. But what if what’s really happening is someone else’s SH*T is triggering your SH*T?

After a good night’s sleep asking for guidance, I realized that is exactly what occurred. Yes, I picked up on the mood of the room, but it was my interactions with my friends’ stuff that got me reeling and upset. ANGER is a great indicator that someone has blasted through your boundaries, which is a little of what had happened. But with new insight I realized that the big issue I had been working on from my past was being mirrored in their behavior towards me. They had just given me little clues.

When I woke up, I made a list of those behaviors that really peeved me and I could see there was a pattern developing. I continually got very upset when someone else demands of me with no regard to my needs, or is controlling and forceful while trampling my boundaries. This pattern was one that I grew up with and I probably wasn’t aware consciously that it upset me so much back then, but it stayed buried inside me until others push those specific buttons.

What I learned from this experience is not only that sometimes it isn’t empathic feeling I am picking up but those trigger buttons, but I also noticed that there isn’t a pat answer or explanation for every experience we have. If I had stopped there, and concluded that I was just sponging off someone’s feelings, or someone was psychic attacking me, or even that “bad spirits” were draining me, or, that I wasn’t “loving enough and they were only mirrors,”  I wouldn’t have gotten to the meat of that particular situation. That is one big thing I have against some new age or spiritual teachings. Every story is different, and that means different answers and different solutions. Blanket answers like “it’s all just fear or love,” may be true at the core, but doesn’t give real world day to day conclusions. Nor is “just love others” when the human relationship is so complex with all our stuff bouncing off each other! And I don’t know about you, but when someone tramples my boundaries or is abusive to me, just throwing love their way when I am supposed to be speaking up for myself and screaming NO! is not my answer.