Category: empath

Animal Communication · Animals · empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

The Used Car Salesman Personality

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Yesterday, I received a phonecall at 8 a.m. from a salesman from a web hosting company. He was perky and happy, and I was cranky and still hadn’t had breakfast. Immediately I felt his energy as if I was getting caught up in a strong wave in the ocean–I was deep under, pressured, and overwhelmed. He asked me a great deal of questions so I didn’t have space or time to even squeak in a “not interested.” He must have been looking down at a list of notes when he said, “So, you have just the one website? Fairyonlineschool.com?” I played dumb. I had over 6 months ago dissolved that website and morphed it into this one. “Sure,” I said, but I was deeply irritated. He hadn’t done the least bit of research on my company to see what I needed and what my company was about.

“Wouldn’t you love to have a company go over your site and make sure you have the right key words, etc.?” Now, I hate all that left brain marketing stuff. (Yes, some of it is necessary.) It may work for some companies, but I explained, “I have a very niche business with a specific audience and I seem to be reaching them. I need to do more of what I’ve been doing.”

“Yes, of course…” He went on and on not hearing me.

This pissed me off more. Here I am in a business that specializes in hearing people and even hearing the layers underneath of people, and all I could feel was that used car salesman mentality: he just wanted to make the sale and get the car off the lot. Who cares if a month ahead I’d find that the radiator leaks and the starter sucks and I’m miserable with the car?

I’ve met this personality before outside of business, and I’m sure you have,  and it’s irritating and upsetting. The question that comes to mind is, “where are my needs even in this picture?!” As empaths, we are so used to feeling others’ needs and wanting to help and please, maybe we even forget we have any needs in the first place! The salesman comes along to give you a gentle or not so gentle reminder: Oops, I forgot my needs again! Oh man, again? So focused on others, we get lost in the pleasing tornado. We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance. We will buy that lemon car and be resentful and pissy for months, or even years.

We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance.

The antidote is to know and state your needs, instead of ignoring them, or do what I do, which is whine and be bitchy when my needs are forgotten along the line. I suggest using what I call the EMMA LOU METHOD. Now there’s the Sedona Method and a bunch of others, but this one really works. When Emma Lou, my basset hound, has a need and wants to get her need met she:

a. puts her head in my hands gently to instigate a petting when she needs it

b. jumps up and sits on my lap when she needs attention

c. is naughty and steals food to get my attention

I don’t recommend the aggressive “c” tactic as it’s almost as bad and aggressive as the used car salesman technique. Tactic “a” is a nice one that simply states I need this and it’s up to you if you can give it to me or not. This is a great way to make your needs known while respecting others’ needs. Most humans can not use tactic “b” as it falls under the category of “awkward.”

Try it out. See how it works for you. I’m sure I will come up with a workshop and a best-selling book on the method, and then I will surely need an aggressive used-car salesman personality to sell it for me. Your phone may be ringing soon.

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To read more posts visit my new website’s Sensitive Artist blog here. and do check out my Help! I’m Sensitive book series there.

empath · empaths

Out from under the bed

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Our beagle girl, Lilibeth, lived under the bed most of her long life. Now, don’t get me wrong, we weren’t these horrible abusers who forced her there. She had her rather timid side and somewhere along the way, learned that under the bed was a safe place to watch for dangers. She often stole things of interest and dragged them into her beagle lair and we’d find the funniest things, often what was missing. What Lilibeth taught me, as a sensitive person, was maintaining the gentle balance between being under the bed and coming out from under the bed. Not an easy task.

In my enthusiasm, I can be too “out” and social and find myself picking up on everyone’s feelings, tired, and seriously overloaded. My first signs of overload can be a head cold, ungroundedness that looks like I’m a complete airhead, or the worse one, bitchiness and a short temper.It will feel like my skin is too uncomfortable to wear.

Too “in” looks a little like I’m a crazy person–a tiny bit paranoid, fearful, claustrophobic and obsessed with figuring out the big puzzles of the world. That’s the extreme. You know when you are too “in” when you get that weird look in your eye and the world seems scary and threatening.

I do like the under the bed technique but there are too many dustballs under there so I can’t stay too long.

For an empath, balancing the two really is about being very aware of what your body is feeling and listening. With the energies going around right now, it’s no wonder we are all inclined to stay under a little longer.  And that’s okay, as long as we venture out a bit also. The world needs your energy.

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For more tips for the Sensitive, buy my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive. Or, consider booking a reading.

empath · empaths · psychic

Paranormal TV Series Review for the Sensitive

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I love Netflix. Each week I receive my happy, little envelopes in the mail for my viewing pleasure according to my Queue. I’m lazy and it’s too hot to stand at the Redbox booth, so this works well for me. Since I joined, I’ve been able to try out different series I normally wouldn’t have watched. Some, were way too violent or dark for my sensitive nature. Others were just right. Here’s my list.

TV Series I recommend:

HAVEN: I love this quirky yet sometimes creepy series about those with different “troubles” written by Stephen King. Ordinarily, everything written by Stephen King usually has puke or evil creepy dead twins. I will never forget IT or the SHINING. But this show has great characters, a strong female lead you admire, intelligence in the plot lines with a huge dose of the supernatural, and lots of psychic abilities, too many that do go awry. I like that most of the time you are spared seeing horrible dead bodies; it’s more suggested. Bravo! We don’t need to be visually assaulted, especially us clairvoyants who never forget. I’m pretty hooked on this one and look forward to season two.

MERLIN: This is a great tv series shot in England with those great accents about Merlin’s beginnings as a teen boy. It’s wholesome with endearing relationships, and the teens don’t act skanky and make you cringe, which is always a good thing. I relate to Merlin’s quest to accept and not hide his abilities (I couldn’t talk about mine with my in-laws. My father-in-law is the one that told me Mediums are hated by God). None of the characters on this show are all good or all bad, but are very real. And maybe there’s that cool past life in King Arthur times I vaguely remember. 🙂 It’s brilliant.

THE REAPER: This was an older series of a young adult who is being told on his coming of age birthday that he now has to retrieve wayward souls from hell for the devil. It’s cleverly written, has great dry humor and interesting characters. I like the whole good vs. evil in ourselves fight that we can all relate to in some small way. The title character grapples with his destiny. Violence is minimal and most of the dark elements are funny, so less threatening.

Of course, I LOVE Ghost Whisperer. There’s so much healing on that show.  I wish they hadn’t cancelled it. DEAD LIKE ME is another very quirky, dark humored and well-written show also. Folks do die on that one each episode, but you expect it and it’s explained simply as their time to go.

My Recommendations to stay away from if you are sensitive:

SUPERNATURAL: I liked this series when it started of two brothers fighting evil. In the beginning there was a strong emphasis on the relationship between the brothers as they encountered their fight and how they grew together or apart.  But the last later episode I caught I found myself flinching through much of the violence. They have upped the violence and the special effects. It’s too cruel and mean in that department. I don’t want to watch people abusing and torturing each other. Been there, done that.

BEING HUMAN: Although I love the story of the ghost, vampire and werewolf who try to fit into society, and the british version’s acting and characters are superb, it’s very, very dark. Topics include physical domestic abuse and murder. As an empath, this one left me feeling inflicted upon and took hours to shake from one dark episode.

HARPER’S ISLAND: This series’ description should have warned me: sexy young socialites get together on a remote island they grew up on only to get slaughtered one by one. Yuck! I can no longer tolerate these kinds of movies. Each episode someone is cruelly murdered usually in disgusting, awful ways. Years ago, when I was more numbed over, I’d find this mildly entertaining. But I felt for each victim and found myself screaming at the screen, “Dude, you just took a life! How is that entertaining?” A huge empathic no.

Happy viewing, Sensitives.

career guidance · career path · empath · empaths · spiritual lessons

Love what you do and trust your feelings

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Being an empath, I follow my intuition and what is best for me through my feelings.

Yesterday, I decided to finally get that haircut I’ve been putting off due to lack of time and a touch of laziness. After a few errands and a trip to Safeway, I stopped off Great Cuts with a coupon in hand for a discount haircut.

Entering the place, I noticed a crowded waiting room with kids jumping up and down off the chairs. The energy felt downright uncomfortable. But it was the woman at the front desk that turned me off. She seemed bored, tired, and someone who really didn’t care if I got a haircut or not. Was she the one who was going to cut my hair?! With a long wait, I reluctantly made an appt. to come back at 2pm for a haircut.

Driving around, wasting time until my appointment, I felt a huge tug NOT to go back. I’m a little embarassed to say that I didn’t. The more I thought about going in there the worse I felt. Instead I drove around and remembered that my one friend mentioned a hairdresser who was really good at her trade. Being pulled, I entered her shop two minutes away and she was delightful! She was actually excited about cutting my hair and we made an appointment for the next day.

Marianna, this great new hairdresser, cut my hair today. It looks wonderful. We talked while she cut and she told me I had great hair. (Got to love a compliment). She gave me tips on what conditioners would be great for my hair. There was no one else in the shop as she cuts one person’s hair at a time. It cost maybe three times the discount haircut, but you know what? With all that great treatment, I walked out feeling like a million bucks. I even treated myself to lunch afterwards.

I guess this is a story about several things. One, follow your gut and your energy. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t for you. Two, Marianna loved cutting my hair and told me so. That wonderful energy went into my hair, probably. Loving what she does radiated out and was a great gift to me, and because of that, she did a great job. The first hairdresser I almost went to didn’t honor what she did and I guarantee she wouldn’t have honored me either, like Marianna had.

And third, treat yourself, dammit! Go just a little further with what you spend on yourself and you will be rewarded by showing the world and the Universe you matter. That’s one of those keys to abundance.

Go get a great haircut.

ps. I actually remember about six months ago going into that hair salon (the earlier one) to get a quick bangs cut. The young woman cutting my hair went on and on how my hair was so dry and with my “kind” of hair I shouldn’t even have bangs. Reminds me of the bad post office experience. 🙂

Fairy blessings,

empath · empaths · psychic tips · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Update to the Post Office Story

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Empaths, repeat after me: My Perceptions Are Correct. Remind yourself often.

In my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive: 50 Tools to Help you Thrive and Survive (offered on this site, incidently), I mention a story of catching a bad mood that wasn’t my own. The story tells of a post office clerk who passed along her bad mood to me, and being an empath, I began to sponge in the bad feelings until I realized what was happening and stopped the process.

My empathic sense that day was that the clerk was very burn out and angry, and I kept feeling she needed to leave this job. It was the job.

Interestingly enough, I found myself in the same post office the other day.  My stomach dropped when I saw who one of the clerks were behind the counter. I was in such a rush I had forgotten that I might bump into her again. Imagine my surprise when I glanced over to the side of the counter under her work station to see signs of “Happy Retirement,” and “Good Luck.” There was even a sign that said “Today is her last day. Wish her luck.”

Wow. My spidey sense was right on target! She WAS burn out. This was a woman who was counting down the days until retirement so she could leave and do what she really wanted to do. Like Senior days in high school, as graduation grows closer, the less you can tolerate school. And I am so glad I did recognize her feelings with my own, and I didn’t take them on and take her behavior personally. Well, I started to, but I caught it. A very valuable tool for all sensitive empaths.

Don’t you just love validation for lessons learned? And, what were the chances I’d be there her very last day?

career guidance · career path · empath · empaths

Take the Worst Job as a Sensitive Poll

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career guidance · career path · empath · empaths

I’m an INFJ and I am proud of it!

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Myers Briggs has a very cool system to help people find their “type,” helping them clarify what jobs, work places, etc., would be best for them. I am in a small percentile of folks, like many of my readers, clients and students that are sensitive,  that are INFJs. NFs are the intuitive feelers of the world. We experience the world through our feeling.

What I think is very nice about this classification is that when I try to be someone I am not, looking at an INFJ definition, I realize that I am unique in how I handle the world, and that’s just fine. I am encouraged to work with how I am, not against it, not act like someone I am not, such as a ISTP. What a concept. That means if I try to apply for a job as a hostess at a busy restaurant, I might get it, but I won’t last very long with that constant people stimulation. I’d fry out. I would also fail at a job that was only repetitive work that didn’t use my mind or imagination. I’d probably escape through the nearest window.

I look back at the jobs I had when I was younger and I now see how I was squeezing a circle into a square job. Then I’d berate myself when I’d fail at it! I’ve had lots of retail jobs in those early years, and though I was good at helping customers and enjoyed it, I was extremely unfulfilled not creating anything or using my mind to solve problems. My funnest job but the one I failed the most at was working at Burger King on the night shift as a teen. I was terrible at repetitive cooking, would forget the details on how to make food, and all I wanted to do was socialize and learn my coworkers’ stories.

  • INFJs, like most sensitives, need alone time to recharge or we get a bit wonky. Too much ongoing people interaction=overload
  • INFJs like to encourage others’ growth and empowerment and like to help in that capacity
  • INFJs like to solve complex problems and use their minds
  • INFJs need jobs that are value-oriented and see their positive impact on others
  • INFJs may not be good at facts and details and repetition
  • INFJs best in leader roles, not followers

When you think of your work or situation choices, work WITH who you are, not against. The Myers Brigg classification is one tool that really assists with finding the right places for your talents and shifts your perception from “there’s something wrong with me” to “maybe this is just a bad match for my strengths and abilities.”

And if you live in an area where most of the jobs are not matches for your classifications, make your own, like I did. Find a need that matches what only you can give.

empath · empaths · spiritual guidance · spiritual lessons

My e-book is on Kindle!

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Sweet! My e-book is now available on Amazon Kindle if you have a Kindle device. Go here to order. If  not, you can buy a copy right here at the site in the Ebook section.

career guidance · empath · Guardian Angels · psychic · spiritual guidance

List: When I can Hear Guidance and When I Can’t

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I’ve been keeping track when, how and where I hear good guidance vs. fears, spirits and crazy thoughts picked up along the way. Here’s my list of when I hear guidance the best:

  1. In the bathtub. No seriously. Water acts like a conductor and I get all kinds of big ah-ha’s being submerged in water. When I used to swim I always received a ton of creative ideas.
  2. Being around like-minded’s. Many of my buds are intuitive and when I am around or talk to them, I am raised up and tuned-in. We amplify each other.
  3. When I am happy. Duh.
  4. Being in Nature = #3 above.
  5. When the computer is turned off and the radio, tv, etc., I can hear much better. That seems logical as there is no interference. When my computer went down, after the first few days of serious withdrawal symptoms, I began to hear again after being shut down (hey, I just caught that. My computer shut down when I shut down!)
  6. Today at Unity Center, I was raised up. Once the music began playing from William Eaton and his daughter, I was in bliss. I could then hear true guidance and suggestions that my Guides have been trying to pass along, but I wasn’t able to hear before.
  7. I’d like to say when I am high on sugar, but that just makes me hyper, not wiser, unfortunately.
  8. When I am feeling loved. My heart is open and I am receptive to the good.
  9. When I draw. That’s when I am relaxed and doing what I love. Super-easy to reach me with good advice.
  10. The dream state! If I am having a very hard time hearing and need guidance, I sleep on it. Next morning I usually awake very wise with answers.

My List for When I don’t Hear Guidance or Hear False Guidance:

  1. When I am bitchy. Ha ha! Bad moods usually mean I am shut down and in a Nasty Fairy state of mind.
  2. Negative tv watching. I watched one show the other night and was not feeling right for a whole day.
  3. Fear. When I am lost in my own or someone else’s fear, I really can’t hear true guidance. I am like a spinning top in my own world of my own yuckky making that consists of the past or the imagined future.
  4. When I am very tired. I tend to zone out completely or hear guidance in small blips that come in and out.
  5. When I am in negative environments usually where the old paradigms work, at least they think it works. Being in those is like trying to hear through mud. Be there long enough and survival is based on only if you become blind and dumb.
  6. Negative or mean people. That kinda goes along with number 5. Being around negative people gets me going and then I’m useless for hours. They usually give unhelpful advice based on their negative experiences or filter. (Did you hear the new Taylor Swift song Mean? It’s so on.)
  7. When I am trying too hard to hear.
  8. When I am in my head not my heart and I think I know the answers using “logical mind” vs. feel and really know the answers.
  9. When I use a pendulum. I’m one of those people who can’t. Apparently, I get a great deal of false positives when I want a positive. It’s very frustrating.
  10. When I am really angry at God and my Guides. Face it, that shuts close the door for a little while. Thank goodness they are patient.

So, try to do a little more of the first list, and recognize when you are doing some of the second list. I know I will try to.

empath · empaths

Are you becoming more sensitive?

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It’s Friday and I’m teaching Fairy Online School. Woo-hoo! I’m totally digging teaching the mini-class about Roses. The lesson I received to teach for Lesson 3 is kinda mind-blowing for me and talks about the mission of the Roses.

Are you becoming more empathic? Have you noticed? It seems the more we get rid of our “mud” the more clearly we can see and the more pronounced our abilities. And before you yell at yourself for being so sensitive, like I had one moment the other day, stop and realize what a gift this is.

I’ve been picking up much lately. A dear friend of mine had a problem with spirits in her house and wanted me to pick up what I “got.” Ordinarily, I would need to go quiet my mind, relax, etc., but the information was just there. Instantly. I was actually knee-deep in watching a good show and my attention was elsewhere. That surprised me. Was it that easy now?

The other day, I was in the library and had a sudden, bad stomach ache. I wondered if it was food poisoning or too much milk. When I asked if it was foreign, I received that it was someone else’s energy in my space. They were thinking strongly about me. Once I acknowledged it, made a boundary by asking for it to go away, it did.

We do need to work on stronger protection around us, so we don’t have intruders in the first place. That’s very important, because we need to have safe space for us to breathe. With everything, we are not perfect and can’t be constantly on guard. Sometimes, stuff and folks get pass the guard. Being that sensitive, and immediately picking up that foreign energy or the energies around others, is the next step in our empathic evolution. When you are aware of the foreign energy, is the gift. It’s often when we aren’t, that we take it on and suffer so much. We carry it around like heavy backpacks and wonder why we feel so crappy.  It’s finally using our empathic ability as the gift it is. THAT’S better protection.

Signs you may have foreign energies intruding into your space:

  • SUDDEN is the key word here. You feel good one moment and awful the next. Sudden stomach aches. Sudden overwhelming emotions. If you are releasing emotions, there’s a different feel to them. It’s more gradual.
  • You will feel bad like there is a dark cloud over your head you can’t get rid of.
  • You feel crowded or influenced negatively. I notice when some spirits come around who are tricksters or troublemakers my thinking will change to fearful or negative out of nowhere. If you ask them to stop and your thoughts seem to go away immediately, you’ve got visitors.

Becoming aware is the next step in your Advanced Empathy.

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Shameless plug: for more tools to help harnass your gift, buy my new ebook, Help! I’m Sensitive!