Category: being sensitive

being sensitive · empath · Empath skills · empaths

Are Sensitive People Part Border Collie?

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chaos calmI don’t like chaos. I used to think it was wanting control but I am realizing it’s my sensitive brain needing order. It all makes sense. As a highly sensitive person, I have a ton of information coming in at once. I notice the big things, the tiny things, and the things on an intuitive level also. That’s a ton of neurons firing and sorting at once. So it makes sense if I walked into a room that was, for example, a crazy party, my brain would take in the flashing lights, the music, the people, the people and their thoughts and feelings, ALL AT ONCE and I could easily overheat my main drive.

Walking into a crazy classroom, I feel like a border collie wanting to get some order with these disorganized sheep that are wandering here and there. I look to create immediate order, and the best way to do that is create some kind of focus in the messiness in front of me. Being sensitive is all about the path of self-acceptance. If I had physical limitations, like one leg, or couldn’t see, I would have to adapt and create a way of being. And I don’t think being sensitive is a limitation, but being not the norm in society, we sure are treated as such. We need to know ourselves and know what we need. (And the positive flip side of this is I am great at editing, pulling together a product or project, and can pull out intuitive information that isn’t available to everyone, and a host of other gifts.)

I like the gas in the car analogy. If I know my car needs special gas to function well, I don’t shame and frown at the car. If I know my body can’t do milk, I don’t shame my body (although I do get frustrated when pizza is around), I listen to my body. This is what this body needs or doesn’t need. Pushing my system to just “adapt” to wild chaos and the party in front of me, is just funny. It’s ignoring how you are wired. With the party situation, I know that I need to create some focus. I can focus on my friends, or the dessert table :), or dance and just go into my own little world. Focusing can help block out the extra noise so I create order in my brain. I accept I have a border collie in me that is protecting my sensitive system. And when the little guy can’t round up the sheep, I know I will have some difficulties and will need to work through it and with it, not ignore this fact. Otherwise, I know the consequence, and it looks the same as if I had eaten that slice of pizza.

being sensitive · thoughts of a sensitive

Thoughts of a Sensitive

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A good reminder still on the theme of belonging…thoughtssensitivegiveaway

being sensitive · healing art · healing fairy alphabet

Fairy Card for this Week: I is for Indian Gardens

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This week’s theme is BELONGING.Screen Shot 2014-11-15 at 11.27.51 AM

Holidays can be tough.

We aren’t with loved ones who are far away, and we are with loved ones that may be emotionally far away or don’t understand us. I picked the I is for Indian Gardens card, which is all about belonging for this week.

How do we know where we are supposed to be? Here’s a fun exercise to do. Here’s two lists. One, is the feelings you have when you are where you belong, and the other where you probably don’t fit. Recall a time when you felt a great sense of belonging. I always think back to Drama Club in high school. Those were a fun bunch of kids. Then think of situations or scenarios which felt the opposite. This is your “template” you can go to when you are feeling out of sorts or rejected, and don’t know why.

Here’s my lists.

Bliss and Belonging List

They just see you and think you are kinda cool.

You are in flow.

You feel creative.

You feel expansive and hopeful.

You feel supported.

You feel like you can just be you and it’s enough. You can let go and relax.

All that you offer is more than enough.

They compliment you and you compliment them.

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Where You Might Not Belong List

You feel like you need to jump up and down to be seen.*

You keep trying.

You feel like you have to give to get what you need.

You want to change yourself to belong.

You might feel shame.

You contract and feel less hopeful.

You don’t feel understood. You have to explain yourself.

This applies to your social circle, your work, your job and even using social media. If you are feeling you are invisible in certain social media, go where you are seen! It’s an awful, awful feeling when you hear the crickets sounding and nothing else in the room when you are offering a lot. That’s a sure sign you aren’t supposed to be there; that isn’t your audience. But you might find that certain things match one medium better than another. For instance, my posts for classes works great on my blog, but not always on Facebook, but I found a welcome home on Pinterest for them. My art digs being on Instagram and there’s lots of love there, but when I post on Facebook sometimes I feel ignored and then I slowly experience the second list.

Have fun making your lists today. This is a great tool to get you out of funk and back to where you belong.

*BIG indicator

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Healing Fairy Alphabet Deck available here, by the way

being sensitive · fairy deck · fairy lessons · healing fairy alphabet · lessons from the fairy

This Week’s Featured Card: P is for Fairy Path

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P is for Fairy Path.

This card can have many meanings for you when you see it, so always trust your guidance. There is one lesson associated with this card I’d like to share that demonstrates the negative and positive aspects of this card.

Everyone has a path unique to themselves. If something isn’t on your path, or you try to walk in the footsteps of someone else’s path, it won’t work. I saw this lesson recently in my own life.

I’m thick. Sometimes I need a cosmic two-by-four to bop me in the head to pay attention to what I need to know. I often experience the lesson over and over until I “get it.”

When I lost my part time gig marketing because of the economy, I really muddled around. I went the logical route and followed family advice to go after what was most lucrative. I learned quickly what doesn’t work for me. I had one nightmare situation after another as I desperately chased after the money I needed vs. where my heart wanted to go. On hindsight, I was probably using or offering skills that aren’t my best. I can honestly say that I even went into a fog where I forgot completely what my path was. I had to ask my friends what was it I loved to do, as if a giant cloud took over my focus and my memories.

I had one job offer that was such a bad fit that I felt ill even thinking about it. But here I was, in a time period when my school wasn’t running yet (it was late summer), my deck wasn’t released, and I had lost my pt job. I was desperate. I had to make a decision and fast, but every time I thought about this job, I either had a back ache, stomach ache or rashes. Many friends around me insisted this was my one choice, but then several looked at me, and knew, this was not a job that was on my path. It didn’t fit my sensitive personality, even a little bit. I’d probably last through a few days of training before messing up or needing to be on migraine medicine.

Things did improve but it was one dark period trusting myself to get back on path. I knew I loved teaching, writing and creating products that teach. It was my heart path. I joined an online Facebook group with the fabulous Fabeku, who teaches you to find your Superpower. I knew mine, I just had to believe in it again, and believe I had a right to pursue it.

I had another interview that makes me chuckle right now. It was for a retail clothing store job. The interviewer barely looked at my resume and forgot my name (never a good sign). She didn’t care about my special skills or superpowers, she wanted to know if I could run a cash register and climb a ladder. There’s this inventory closet that is loaded with clothes and boxes and each day you would climb this ladder and check the boxes on a far shelf. Now I hate climbing ladders and heights, but I told her not a problem. But the issue was my height. Even with the ladder, I probably couldn’t reach those boxes, and she managed to point that out. I am pretty sure I didn’t get that job because of that one fact. I walked out feeling ashamed and not happy who I was, which is a sure sign you are not on your path.

On my next interview, I listened to the job described and felt tingles all through my body. I felt emotional, in a very good way–the kind of spontaneous cry that bursts through that you know you are hitting pay dirt to your soul. After we discussed the details, the interviewer told me I was an Ideal Candidate and she wanted to offer me the job. This was the complete opposite of being shamed for a ladder. The whole process was effortless and flowed. I felt like I was with a kindred spirit. I walked out feeling expansive and hopeful again wondering what other dreams I could pursue and add to that new job that followed this unique path that was made just for me.

You are supposed to feel good. You are supposed to feel honored for your special gifts. You are supposed to be appreciated. And when you don’t feel any of that, you are probably just off your unique path.

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This week’s Featured Cards Brought to You by the Healing Fairy Alphabet Deck. Get your copy by clicking on the Buy Now Button. Have a deck? Take the Deck Class to learn more about the cards over here.

buynow

being sensitive

Thoughts from a Sensitive: Lack of Support

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We often blame ourselves when we are “failing.” But what is really happening is we don’t have enough support or knowledge to succeed in that situation. We simply need more help. shame

being sensitive

Two Kinds of Smog

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smog

First off, big thank you for everyone that attended the celebration for my deck. We had a ton of fun on Facebook and many of the posts are still here on the website for you to read.

I had one hell of a week last week and from what I heard from others it was a doozy energy-wise. Perhaps it was that FULL MOON that knocked out the sky. Maybe it was the eclipses and astrological influences (if I hear one more time about Mercury Retrograde I will scream LOUD. Good thing that is over.) But one thing I know for sure, I didn’t feel right. I experienced:

  • Sudden mood change
  • A heavy feeling
  • A dark cloud around my head that made my head fuzzy and confused
  • My usual upbeat personality felt depressed, sad and hopeless and I couldn’t get rid of it

Did you ever have a big change in mood like that? Comes on like gangbusters and hard to clear out? I call it Smog.

We are talking about Smog over on this month’s newsletter. Did you sign up yet? Subscribers will receive $10 to $20 Off on classes that start this Friday, AND $20 off this week on the new class, Help! I’m Sensitive Support class.

Sign up for the newsletter right over HERE.

being sensitive

The deck is here.

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being sensitive

Don’t give up on Heart Projects and Virtual Popcorn

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Time for some virtual popcorn loaded with fairy dust. A little bit of advice, be sure not to drive after eating this.

Popcorn animation

2005 I started the deck. This was the first card.

sunflowersidewayswithS 900

I sat down with my Bestie at the time and she looked at the first sketches of the first cards and said, “This should be a deck,” because, well, she’s smart and highly intuitive.

Life got in the way. Lots of life, and lots of big stuff.

Once in my fairy castle I felt inspiration all around me, and as I healed, each card was a lesson learned.

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The cards needed form so it became a calendar.

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I loved the calendar although they were HUGE and I thought they would be much smaller. They were crazy hard to send out in the mail, especially to Italy and Russia. You should have saw the packages that went out. They were also HUGE. And well, I am the size of a fairy.

But I still felt an unrest. My original intention for the cards haunted me. I felt unfinished.

I received more card ideas. I took notes. Nature’s messages popped up all around and talked to me. It was fun watching each card emerge when I needed an idea. There were unexpected sunflowers and inchworm visits. Faces in trees popped out. I was regrounding on the earth. I dived down into the drawing, the color, and the passion and love I felt creating, and doing what I love to do the most.

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This summer I got close to the finish line for the first time. I was determined. They needed to be born, and like all ideas that are destiny, they PERSIST. I just had to sit down and create and face all my fears and hop in.

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I will let you in on a little secret. When the cards arrived I experienced an emotional roller coaster–up and down feelings. I felt such pride. I knick picked the printing. I played with them. I stared at them. I had finished this huge thing and I was in awe. I also felt such fear. I think it was vulnerability I was feeling. I was in every part of that deck. I was exposed. Would they like it? Was it enough?! Would it be helpful to others? If you ever want to go through and sift through major shit and finally clear it out and stare it in the face, finish a major project.

And now I feel that “detached” feeling you get when the project becomes part of the world and is no longer your own.

That took awhile to go through all those birthing stages in the past few weeks. And now I feel that “detached” feeling you get when the project becomes part of the world and is no longer your own. You are pushed into the next project, gently and lovingly.

The big picture lesson here? It’s worth it. It’s worth every birth pain and push. It’s worth it to have your voice and words out in the world. And they are calling to you in your day and in your sleep. Grab the courage to do it. Birth like crazy. And then do it again. Because you leave behind a legacy, you help others, and there are so many in this world that don’t take that chance. Do it for them too.

being sensitive · Designing Fairy Cinema · fairy deck · healing art · healing fairy alphabet · inspirational greeting cards

A lost balloon rediscovered. It’s Time for a Celebration

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Yay! We are Celebrating the Release of the Healing Fairy Alphabet Deck.


 redballoons

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 click on the image above if it isn’t moving for a special message

 

Here’s the deck that took years and years and years to finish. A lost balloon rediscovered.

deck1

Ooooh, it’s pretty. And you buy one here.

We will be having fun all day here so check in often. I will be giving out Virtual Popcorn and stuff and talk about not abandoning your heart projects. And hopefully, selling decks cause these puppies need their new homes. Yay!

being sensitive · empath · empath class · Empath skills · empaths

Clear Expectations and Rubrics

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clearexpectations

I have a guilty pleasure.

I watch reality television. My favorite kind of show are design or cooking challenges. I am a Project Runway addictee and I’ve pretty much watched every season up to date. This past weekend I finished watching the finale for the past season and HULU suggested another show, Australia’s Top Model. I do admit to watching the last guys and girls season of America’s Top Model, and I was entertained by the drama and the fashion photography. That show falls into the same category as the cooking shows I watch. I am a horrible cook so watching good cooking is a bit of a fascination for me. There’s no stress because I know I will never aspire to be even a bit better than I am as I have no talent in this area. The model shows are much the same. I will never be 5’10, twig-like, flat-chested, or eighteen again, so it’s safe to witness another world I will never be a part of. I have realistic expectations.

Surprisingly, the Australian show was much more brutal with criticism then the American show. From watching a two season marathon (yes, I watched two seasons while drawing most the day),  it seemed the judges made up the rules as they went along. Girls were judged by their runway walk, but once they got that down, they SHOULD have worked on their photos instead. And the judges picked out their final photos from a large pile they took of them usually choosing the best or the odd one of the bunch to their preference. Sometimes, criticism made perfect sense and we, the audience, learned a great deal about how to model, although, I have to say, I really don’t have that interest. Other times, criticism was random and odd. Particularly brainless was giving the girl criticism about the size of her butt who clearly showed signs of early eating disorder and was model thin.

All this model show watching had me thinking about clear expectations. I am realizing something rather important as a sensitive. I need clear expectations. What is often hard having my own business is that there is a part of me that thinks, I will do all this work and offer all this, and in return, I will be rewarded with what I need. The problem is often when that doesn’t happen and I am left with an uneven exchange.

Most sensitive folk are very responsible and we like to please. Whether that pleasing is for approval, and approval can mean acceptance, or it is simply to keep the peace because we hate conflict. In order to please we need the rules, and the rules, like in that tv show, aren’t always very clear. We want to know that if we do A/ then B/ we get a reward. Many situations we think we do A and B, we may even get chastised for not doing C and D, when we hadn’t even known there was a C and D, which is what often happens with unclear expectations or hard to please people.

In Grad School classes we were told about Rubrics. We had set expectations for each course we took describing what was expected of us. If we did a certain amount of work we received a grade. If we did things well or did more than expected, we received good grades. None of this was subjective, it was super clear. If I wanted that A, I had to do a certain amount of work and I was rewarded. WE NEED THAT!

I think we’ve all lived through situations growing up that we may have been expected to be more extroverted and do things like extroverted people do, and to be less sensitive or emotional.  This is much like being asked to be eighteen again and model thin. Impossible expectations are just that…crazy and unrealistic. We will fail but not because of what we are attempting. Trying to please and fulfill those expectations might be even crazier. (It’s what I call the Treadmill). Maybe it’s time to walk away from situations that ask that of us and be pulled to the ones that have a very clear, upfront formula for success. And if isn’t clear, we can ask that it is.