I got thrown so far off, I don’t even know where my horse is

15 Oct

Bad seeds can be planted.

They are like these nasty, horrible beliefs we pick up along the way or through childhood that really poison our system. Often times, we take them on like hand-me-downs. That’s what happened to me recently when relatives visited.

How do you know you’ve had a bad seed planted? You feel like crap. You feel shame.

I thought I was doing a good job growing my biz. Everything felt good–a ton of accomplishments, great feedback from students and clients. Everyone happy and growing and helped. That’s all good!

But then there’s that weak spot or hole I often talk of that made that seed grown.

If you’re weakened, usually from fatigue or emotional upset, those bad seeds grow and grow like weeds in your psyche. It’s generally composed of old, bad thinking from when you were younger. Do you relate?

My weed looks like this nasty, horrible, thorny thing that tells me this:

You don’t do enough. You always were lazy. You don’t even try….

This weed then gets wrapped around anything good and then even the new growths are screaming for air! Yuck!

Lots of times when you are knee-deep in weeds, then you naturally attract thoughts or experiences that reinforce that belief. I was led to advice from a marketing guru and she focused on the one thing I was lamenting about. She went on and on how she was making only “x” her first year and how bad that was, and coincidently, it was the exact amount I am making! Double shame attack that reinforced the weed telling me I should be doing and making more. She didn’t create that shame, it just mirrored the belief.

I turn to Fairy Philosophy for help. I pull weeds.

I just need to pull some weeds out before they take over my yard. They are just old weeds, after all. That line of thinking doesn’t even notice those sweet little buds that are growing up from the ground that look so promising. It doesn’t see all the new growth that is there. It doesn’t see how beautiful that plant really is from so much care. No, it looks at my life with the wrong lens. Someone else’s lens that fits them, not me.

I need to live my life in a way that matches me, and run my biz in a way that works for me and what works for me, may be very different than an extrovert’s way of marketing or doing. And what works for me, might be a turtle’s pace of the mountain, but I get there.

What’s your experience?

2 Responses to “I got thrown so far off, I don’t even know where my horse is”

  1. Monique February 19, 2012 at 12:13 am #

    Thanks! Just what I needed to remember today too 🙂


    • designingfairy February 19, 2012 at 12:17 am #

      Monique, I thought of you when I reposted it too! 🙂


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