Tag: spiritual lessons

manifesting · metaphysical · spiritual lessons

How Not To Manifest-repost

designingfairy

I was going through my blog posts to put together for a writing portfolio, and I came across my favorite post on manifesting. It still works, or, um, doesn’t work today.

  1. Obsess over what you don’t have. This is very important for not manifesting what you want.
  2. Freak out completely over what is missing.
  3. Begin to deteriorate emotionally and question if your Guides give a flying monkey or not if you eat, or have gas money, or what you need. Don’t trust at all. And absolutely, don’t, under any circumstances, remind yourself of times when your Guides and the Universe came through for you. This may be the time they don’t.
  4. Feel resentment because what you need isn’t coming from the sources you think it should. Resent everyone. It’s probably their fault.
  5. Don’t allow yourself to play, relax, or enjoy anything, because after all, you need to only focus on creating what you need. This is the responsible way to do things.
  6. Be extra hard on yourself for not manifesting what you need. Tell yourself you are flawed in some way or that no one cares about you.
  7. Force yourself to do things you hate, or that you should do, to get what you want.
  8. Obsess some more. Obsessing is always a good thing to show the Universe how much you really care.
  9. And finally, and this is very important, take all of this very, very seriously.
psychic tips · spiritual lessons

the white unicorn

designingfairy

Butterflydoctor2

(Butterfly doctor by Ronni a. Hall)

Yesterday, at Adrienne’s Fairy and Angel chat on Ning, we met a unicorn. It was a powerful invocation led by Adrienne which led me face to face with a white horse with horn. The unicorn’s message was that my heart was blocked and that most of my Guides have been working overtime to reopen that space in my chest!

It’s been a very tough summer. Our RAD teen has been at cross-purposes with our goals to be a happy family. She really only wants control, not love, at this time. The mostly sweet little girl is replaced by something foreign and her actions and words have done a number on us.  So, meeting this unicorn with this message seemed timely and true.

This morning I woke from a dream visit with my Mom. She reminded me to take care of my inner child, the one who has been bullied and ignored through most of the summer.

I had a special Mom. She often gave me small presents that my inner child loves, well up until I was older and grown and in my 30s. I tried to parent my daughter the same way giving her gifts and toys for special occasions. With her therapists lately she complains how the bag of clothes I gave her were not good enough and I should know what she likes, or the book I tried to give her (Sark) I thought she’d like, was me forcing her to read something. (RAD teens hate to be nurtured or parented unless they feel in control). What really hurt was when most of her “stuff” I gave her through those years were put into the yard sale we had.

I had to think…was I also rejecting my own inner parenting to myself? Was I telling myself what I was doing wasn’t enough? What I was giving not enough? Was I even spending time with my inner child? Who, unlike my daughter, would actually appreciate and enjoy it?

I think the white unicorn represents our inner child’s power and glory.  When we deny it and act too adult, we lose our power. We lose our special light inside.

Go embrace your inner unicorn! Seek out the fun part of you. The one that loves stickers and tiny toys. It’s the place to start for the wounded heart.

 

healing · Intuition · spiritual lessons

Crazy energy report and slow time of year

designingfairy

Okay, the energies have been wild lately! If you are sensitive, you are feeling it. I’ve had a bug lately and because of the fever, I was so ungrounded and seeing the energies. it was coming off of everything! There’s been lots of spirit contact,  lots of changes, and lots of Guides hanging nearby (opposite of what Emerging Angels has reported). My Guides have been near as well as, many clients’ Guides lending a hand. The energy is building for big changes and new doors opening that are about to happen. It’s been busy! It may be Mercury Retrograde, but it’s also a weird time of year..August/September.

Funny story…one year many moons ago, I saw a career counselor at the college I often take enrichment classes at in desperation and frustration.  We went over my Myers Brigg and decided I was an INFJ. I told her I was so tired of my work at the time and I wanted a change. I mentioned how I wanted to create books and art.

Switch to the next year. I went to same career counselor. Bitched about the same things. She told, “Do you realize you showed up here the exact time of year as last time?” Apparently, the August/September slump time affects me greatly. I worry about paying the basics and if this is what I should be doing…blah blah blah. Come October, things really pick up and I shut up again until January slump.

I tell this to myself after massive marketing and publicity and still just coming out of slow times. Apparently, there is a rhythm to life we can’t avoid. Perhaps each year I am one step more ahead. Or maybe I need to ask for more.

art · healing · spiritual lessons · whimsical illustration

IF:Magnify

designingfairy17 Comments

Monsters

For my long absence at IF, I present Magnify. Many of our fears are monsters magnified from inside of us. “Befriend the feared monsters inside of you and bring them into the light.”

color pencil and ink and a touch of Photoshop

print available at my Etsy shop

Animals · spiritual lessons

The meaning of poison?

designingfairy1 Comment

fortunebuttonEmma Lou, our basset hound, ate a bottle of chewable glucosamine yesterday. After the panic, and quick calls to the doctor, we were told she would probably be very bloated and gassy, but she’d be fine. Can you imagine? After eating a bottle? Thank goodness!

Here’s the weird part…and there is always a weird part with my life. The day before Jessica was home from school from eating four peppers from a classmate. She got sick from eating them and ending up in the nurse’s office.

Big coincidence. The next morning I dreamt about Emma being poisoned by a vampire, sick, but okay.

The vet said on the phone that eating too much of glucosamine, a relatively safe supplement, may upset Emma’s blood sugar temporarily. Blood, vampire. Hmmm.

Being the spiritually-minded person that I am, I always look for the big picture or message here. Was the dream a premonition–that which was going to happen? Or, what was planned? What was I taking in that was poisoning me, even if temporarily. What do you think?

art · healing · Intuition · manifesting · new thinking · spiritual lessons · writing

Losing my heart food

designingfairy

I think my heart is closed down.

I just came back from a dance class at the college, which felt glorious and fun. Doing fun dance steps, swaying to the beats of the music, brought me back to the olden days when dancing was nurturing for me. I practically grew up in a dance studio from the time I was four or five. My second home, is what my Mom would call it. The poor woman had to play taximom to my sister and I back and forth to the studio. I grew up with the owner’s daughter, Haley, and I have fond memories of playing with Dawn dolls and dollhouses in her room at the back of the studio.

There are some bad memories too, when I got older in high school, still dancing, but then battling body image, a tough teacher now saying curves were not good, and as a result, the beginning of an eating disorder. Some of those memories are coming back as my older body has entered the dance class among the young ones, but I don’t want those memories to override my joy.

The coincidences are overpowering right now in regards to this class. My one dance teacher was Russian and called me affectionately “Runny.” This teacher at the college is also Russian. When I heard her call my name the same way, mixed feelings swept through me.

Old loves and lost joy are the themes coming up for me now. I used to adore writing and took every class at the college I could. My first writing class I met one of my best friends and felt a delicious belonging I hadn’t felt for some time. I am now taking a class in play and screenwriting, which brings me back to my acting days, more times of belonging and happiness.

I haven’t lost drawing, which I am grateful for. Through the years, however hard they may have been, I kept at it. Paper and pen flowing.

Ironically, I taught my Fairy Joy class this summer for the first time. I needed the class most of all. You see, I had lost my joy and closed my heart. I know this now. We are raising a very sweet and charming kid, who has lots and lots of issues from having a very tough beginning. That beginning colored her world and made it a place of hard survival and trauma. The problem is, she doesn’t differentiate between then and now. She has the same tactics: manipulation to get what she needs, lying, false accusations, splitting, triangulation, creating drama, etc. It’s way above even the normal teenage stuff. But what she shows others is a perfect young girl, so we look like the bad guys. As you can imagine, it’s been very, very hard for us to give while not feeling anger.

So, I am exhausted. I’m spent. My husband and I  meet with several therapists a week to learn how to parent her and try to undo the exhaustion, the lack of joy, and the misunderstood & uneducated comments from the outside world.

Which brings me back to my joy and the classes. What I wrote first here is the most telling. Dance was nurturing. Through trips to the studio I spent time with my Mom, who has since crossed over too early. Mom was nurturance growing up. Writing is from my soul–a gift from me to you. Drawing connects me to that little girl unaffected by the losses and pains of the world. In the process of trying to heal our little girl, we got caught up and began to live in the rollercoaster of her world–a very dark, hurting place. And much worse, those who were meant to be helpful, hurt us much more, by not witnessing us or honoring our needs. From this dark place, we forgot how to nurture ourselves. We may even have felt we didn’t deserve to be nurtured. The message we repeatedly got: Parents only give selflessly and have no needs of their own. I’ve seen this dynamic lately mirrored in my outside world by not getting what I need–the very basics. But I had forgotten the food for my soul, the very basics for my inner world’s needs–the art, the words, the movement, the mothering!

God, the Universe, my spirit helpers, brought me to these classes and gave me the coincidences. This has led me to the understanding that we can not give from an empty place. As parents we have a right to our own needs too. As healers, artists and teachers, also. We need to open our hearts again and we can only truly do that when we are fed.

(If you are needing your joy back, consider the Fairy Joy class to rediscover what feeds you. Sign-ups are happening right now.)

new thinking · spiritual lessons · writing

Don’t Wish You Were Someone Else

designingfairy3 Comments

comfort

I went to sleep upset with my life and wishing I was someone else.

Halfway through the night, I journeyed and had an amazing dream message.

I was at a school taking different classes. I was traveling with a friend between classes when I looked down and noticed I wasn’t me! I was tall, larger, and had light, black skin. I panicked!

“What color are my eyes?” I asked my companion. “Brown,” she answered. “Where are my green eyes? I like having green eyes?!”

We wandered around the campus with me feeling steadily uncomfortable. As this new body, I noted that I was less visible than in my short body, realizing now, being little garnered much more special attention. Being taller I was lost in the crowd, even invisible.

I missed the way my rings looked on my fingers. How my hair curled naturally in little ringlets on the ends. Where was my little pug nose? I realized I liked my face, if even for the familiarity of it. Maybe even missed it, which was weird because it was my face I’d find the most imperfections!

“When do I get my old body back?” I pleaded to my friend.  “This doesn’t feel right.”

“You don’t. This is yours now.” she told me flatly.

When I woke from the dream, I was so relieved, and for the first time in awhile, I was happy to be me. This was an unusual lesson learned, because I spent most of the summer wishing I was something I was not. I saw myself in others’ eyes–being inferior to others–which, perhaps now, wasn’t real at all. Where I was short, I thought I should be tall and long. Where I was fair, I thought I should be tan. Where I was curvy, I thought I should be slim and narrow. Trips to the pool made all of this thinking worse! I thought I was not enough and invisible as who I was. And now with this dream, I realized whether it was others’ perceptions or wants, it didn’t matter, because deep down, it wasn’t mine. Being all those things–short, curvy, fair–is who I am right now, and who makes up Ronni.

How many messages do we receive on a daily basis, or, even messages that replay over and over from the learned past, that tell us who we are is not enough? That someone or something is better, so we should try to be what we are not. As if we could? How often do we stop to really look at ourselves and see the beauty we are and the superior gifts only we possess?

I remember when I was in college–a huge campus in Maryland–a much younger Ronni. Where I thought I was special, there were now hundreds of folks that were just as special. If I could draw, there were those who could draw expertly. If I could dance, you guessed it, there were amazing dancers. The worst of this equation happened when my small group of pals let in a new friend. She was also little and funny, and even, brown hair and green eyes too. My pals seemed to like her better! Why, I wasn’t special at all now.

Tears rolled down my face when I relayed the story to my Mom, and it was there that I learned where my “not good enough’s” originated from. She didn’t say that I was special just because I was me, or anything like that. There was only silence on the other end of the line.

I’d like to go back to that college girl and tell her, “We aren’t our parts, or, because you are  short, have green eyes, and will later teach fairy stuff. You aren’t your special abilities or your talents either, or even what you do. You don’t have to be something you are not–such as tall, narrow, or dark–to please someone else, or to be loved, or even wanted. You should never have to work that hard for love or acceptance. Like an individual snowflake with it’s own combination of beauty, you are unique. Love what you are right now. Accept and revel in it! All of it is you. Enjoy every bit of it–whether, the crooked nose, or the juicy thighs!  You don’t have to try to be someone you are not, because, when I was, I wasn’t happy. I missed me. ”

And for Mom, and her Mom before that, I wish you heard the same message long ago.

spiritual lessons

Designing Fairy says…

designingfairy

halloweenfairy “How do you know you’ve been exposed to negativity?   You doubt yourself.” – DESIGNING FAIRY

healing · psychic tips · spiritual lessons

Nasty People Have a Purpose

designingfairy

daisyYes, I think nasty people have a purpose. And maybe they weren’t always nasty. They became nasty. Life handed them a series of events that hurt or dismayed. I understand that. But when life throws me several nasty people at once, I have to stop and think what the message is.

I am historically one who carries everyone else’s stuff. A very bad habit for an empath.  Sensitive folk tend to feel responsible for what they feel. This has been changing, shifting. So, the Universe and Dog has sent me folks in the past week who are angry and want to dump their stuff onto someone else to feel better. I am being tested. Did I really learn? Really shift?

Our daughter recognized this fine ability I have of carrying early on and graciously took advantage of this “gift.” Even when I wasn’t with her in the room, somehow it was my fault for her misdeeds.  On a recent trip to her grandparents and relatives, she managed to encourage them to dump onto myself and my husband with very unfair and untrue comments.  Nasty people #1

Enter disgruntled student with unkind words that didn’t help, improve, or grow my school. Ouch! Her words felt more like a bad breakup: “I wish you were something else: Prettier. Smarter. I kept hoping you would change.” Nasty people #2

And finally, the owner  from the small town service station of Mayer that fixed our car was super nasty, sexist, rude, and overall disrespectful while arranging payment plans. I am grateful we could make an arrangement, but not how it was made. Nasty people #3

Has the world lost their communication skills? Do I still look like an open wastebasket? Just because I feel it does not mean I have to fix it.

I am learning the true gift of duck energy. Feel it, recognize it as someone else’s stuff, and in some cases–bad manners–and then refuse to take it on. Walk away. Stand up for yourself. Say something, but don’t carry it. Some folks only feel better if they have someone to dump it all on, but you don’t have to be that person. We are doing them a disservice. They need to process and deal with their own stuff, just like we try to. We do this to grow and be better people. Do we really want to take away their lessons to learn? This would be like doing someone else’s  homework for them. Very uncool.

It did hurt when each nasty person dumped on me. I must admit it. I’ve always been the type that was appalled when someone was mean to me on purpose. I guess that is the price to pay by being so sensitive. But maybe I need to practice acceptance. Some folks won’t change. They may always be nasty in some way or another. Their lives will reflect that. You don’t have to be empathic to feel how miserable they truly must be inside. So, if I can move to a place of compassion I’ve really progressed as a soul, I suppose. But I do need to give that compassion to myself and realize I never deserve that kind of treatment, from anyone, even if I do know their reason for distress. In the words of the wonderful group Monty Python, I can “run away, run away!”

spiritual lessons

If it’s heavy, it’s old

designingfairy

Got a great piece of advice yesterday in a fairy reading I did. The Fairy Guides are so typically simple with their advice, yet helpful, I always have to laugh. They said, if you have a heavy feeling, like you are carrying around a great deal, with high emotions to boot, it’s old stuff you’ve acquired, usually from childhood. You are seeing things from the eyes of a child and from that emotional place. That is why the emotions associated with the feeling is so exaggerated. Good advice.