I stopped making little films.

It hit me the other day when I felt the urge to make a little film for my social media client. The hunger to make one made itself known with familiar pangs and growls. It had been over a year since I gathered images and wrote a story and this confused me. Why did I stop?

Why do we stop doing what we love? “We lose permission” is the thought that came into my head when I asked this. When I was going to Grad School, I had permission and a structure which included definite expectations and assignments for the reward of a certificate. Most of these assignments involved making little videos to teach our message. I dove into the task with such lust that I knew this was my passion. I experimented with light animation, silly web shows, and personal stories in color pencil. I was always a storyteller, but now I had a vehicle that really matched me.

When school ended, I was left without permission. I needed to dive back into the work world and make money, and the films now seemed impractical. They needed to make a lot of money right away for them to be “worthwhile” and I didn’t know how. So I shut down that part of me.

A few months ago, I told a new friend what I did for a living. I hesitantly included creating little movies. “Oh, that’s a hobby then?” she said. I cringed down into the deep hollow of my stomach. “No,” I replied. “That’s my passion.” The words bursted out on their own before I could stuff them back in.

We stop painting, woodworking, writing songs. We stop crafting, jewelry-making, ceramics painting, doodling and drawing for fun. We become the “grown-ups” who are responsible, accountable, and serious, and if we have a teeny bit of time leftover, we let ourselves indulge. Many folks wait until they retire to have permission. All this withholding creates bitter, depressed, dried up people that take away the joy from the world.

Part of the creative process, whether by career or choice, is the PLAY stage. When scientists discover cures, they are first experimenting, which is their idea of playing. We experiment with tools, play, try out materials and techniques, and what comes out of that process can be very fruitful and helpful to others. When I made my FAIRY GUIDE I was playing in the garden. I wanted to learn about nature and healing. And what came out of those notes was a school that is over eight years old and international, and hopefully, helping many. Engaging in your creative passion is necessary. Nurturing your loves and where your creative impulses are taking you is following your intuition/gut, which is leading you to your greatest success (financially and/or emotionally) and where you need to be. It’s responsible. 

I’m self-nurturing now by diving back into movie making. It feeds me like nothing else does. I feel filled up, joyful and 100% me. And it could lead to huge financial success in ways I haven’t even discovered yet,  and/or it could just make me happy, and I deserve to be happy.

I give you permission to play, experiment, and dive down into your creative passion.

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You might enjoy my upcoming Fairy Healing the Feminine (which talks about self nurturing) or Telling Your Story creative class which both start June 27th.