Category: empath

empath · empaths · self esteem · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Catching a bad mood

designingfairy3 Comments

When you are sensitive, you can feel someone else’s mood a mile away, and it affects you like it would the smell of bad perfume. I learned an important lesson yesterday I wanted to share about setting boundaries and bad moods.

I took a detour yesterday and went to a different post office then my cozy, friendly one. I had to send a package via Customs and waited patiently in line. I had a few more packages fumbling under my arm that had to go to the States.

When I made my way to the Teller I felt it: Bad mood.

She looked at my package and told me curtly that it needed a Customs form. She talked to me like I was a moron and I was purposely insulting her. She then threw the form at me with no directions and brushed me away. Thinking logically, I asked her if I could just pay for the other packages and then fill out the form and she said no twice. That wasn’t how it was done.

The form came in a little booklet with lots of pages and made very little sense when you are in a hurry. I filled out the end form thinking that was the procedure and went back in line to face her again. This time I had the growing sensation of insecurity building up inside of me. “Was I stupid?” I stopped my train of thought quickly and sized up the situation. No, this woman had a “everyone is a moron but me” attitude going that I did not appreciate and it was affecting how I felt. I almost took it on.

Back in front of her, I lost my temper when she chastised me for only filling out the last form, without realizing that it was a duplicate and I should have filled out the first form.

“How the hell would I know that?” I snapped at her. I had been virally affected by her bad mood, and now I was hostile and on the defensive.

I walked away back to the desk to fill out the form “right.” That’s when the aha moment arrived. Eureka! I could walk away. I could take my stuff and go to another post office or even wait for another teller in line. I mumbled this out loud. I didn’t have to put up with her bad treatment or the bad mood she was flinging at others! I also didn’t have to get involved with defending myself or confronting her and showing her what she was doing. That wasn’t my job.

That’s when the Universe rewarded me immediately for my new lesson learned. The woman was so riled she walked into the back and was replaced by another teller who now was about to serve me.

This woman fawned over my cute little drawn mailing labels and stickers and complimented me. We chit-chatted about making art and how much we loved the process, and she told me about her art. When the transaction was completed,  she said “Nice meeting you.”

This was a 180 degree turn around from what I had just experienced! I told the world what I wanted and what I didn’t want. And I threw what wasn’t mine back at the person and basically said, “Here. This isn’t mine, it’s yours.” I won’t put up with bad treatment.

Now I do understand that working at the post office is a very stressful job. My husband worked there for years and told me the counter was the hardest job of all. And I am always trying to understand where the other person is coming from and have compassion. But the teller expected defiance, rudeness, ignorance, and received it, by being rude!  Her foul treatment passed along to me, and if I had owned her mood, caught that contagion, I would surely have passed it to many others throughout the day like a bad cold.

See it, just say No, and Yes to what you do want.

Earth energies · empath · empaths · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Baby Steps and New Year’s Goals

designingfairy7 Comments


Being both creative and a sensitive means I am highly imaginative, maybe even a hint of dramatic, and I overwhelm easily.

As a sensitive empath, I can get overwhelmed psychically. I already take in so much information on a deep level every day. Too much chaos around me equals chaos inside of me. I easily take on a great deal that isn’t mine.*

As a creative, I always have 3000 ideas for projects running around in my head. That is a very cool thing if I was three people in one.

The big guidance I am getting is to create baby steps so I don’t overwhelm and freak myself out. Here’s an example.

It’s time to make big changes in my life health-wise. I am completely addicted to sugar to keep up my hummingbird-like energy. So, I see the mountain ahead of me. Since I like climbing mountains I start to plan. I will get rid of all sugar in the house. I will substitute with healthy alternatives. I won’t buy dessert at dinner at the restaurant. Yeah. Right. This will last for about 5 minutes before the panic sets in and I will finish that box of leftover Christmas cookies. I’ve just raised the bar so much that I won’t succeed.

It’s Monday and the new year so it’s time now to do all my business goals right now. I will start my whole way of doing things in a new way all today. In fact, this week I will manifest my new publisher and create the full proposal and finish my healing deck. I will be completely organized with my scheduling. I will create ten new doors to opportunity…

PANIC. Where’s the cookies?

Baby steps make more sense. Even if you realized you need a new job, new career, new anything, you will still get there one step after another. There is no reason to overwhelm, or put that much pressure on yourself unless you are one of those overachieving, motivating speakers who seem to have superpowers or a good supply of amphetamines. (I doubt highly these folks are empaths.) For sensitive and creative people who tend towards this behavior, remember that change needs to happen slowly and steadily. What we really fear is the drastic and that’s not what we want to create. We’ve had enough of that kind of change in the past year, why hurt ourselves?

As a child, I was always going against my own rhythms and following others’ that didn’t fit me. I may be more of the tortoise than the hare, but I get where I need to go. I love Nature because Winter isn’t rushed so there’s Spring. There’s time for everything. There’s steps.

What’s your next baby step?

*I’m completing my Tips for the Sensitive Ebook that provides all those juicy tools on how to balance out your sensitivity.

empath · empaths · sensitivity · spiritual lessons

Make your year-end manifesto

designingfairy2 Comments

I just had a birthday. I was guided to make a personal birthday manifesto. This long list would be culled from clues from my many journals that I keep track of my life in.

my current journal

It is here where I decide what to get rid of in my life and what I shall keep in the coming year. And sensitives and empaths, you may very well relate to my list. Consider writing one of your own to end out your year.

Include in your manifesto:

  • List the areas where you continually are either a/triggered b/upset c/angry or d/just plain unhappy or bitch about, and translate those into boundaries of what you won’t allow into your life. Create some powerful walls to protect yourself.
  • List the areas that made you happy, smile, and feel good about yourself and life. These are the must-have’s; the fuel for your tank. These are the things that no matter how busy life becomes you will include these or you will see a lack of balance and an unhappy you. It’s a way to stay on path and on track.
  • List regrets. Life is just a series of learning. Our regrets over the last years  are what we would have done differently if we had a time machine. Listing these in no way is a vehicle to “should” on yourself. It’s rather a great way to show how you have grown or learned in the past year.
  • Goals. These are tricky. Many times, in the beginning of the year, we make a ton of wants and goals and then feel like crap by the end of the year when we didn’t lose those 10 pounds or publish our novel. I’d suggest this part be what you’d love to do or experience. Make it doable and possible.

Here’s examples from my Manifesto. I have to have to be happy and what I won’t give up:

  1. my own pace and rhythms
  2. quality time with those I love
  3. teaching my online classes. Totally dig my students.

What I will give up:

  1. other people’s shame or should’s coming at me
  2. giving to those that don’t appreciate it
  3. ignoring my own needs

Regrets for the past years:

  1. I don’t regret adopting per say, but if I had a time machine, I would have been better educated, demanded all the records in the beginning, and asked much more questions. I would have demanded better support.  We were very naive and set up for failure. I would have also made sure my own needs were always met, and in no way, will I ever allow someone, even a child, to abuse me or put me into an abusive environment.
  2. I’d have finished graduate school.
  3. I wouldn’t have eaten that much sugar. Well, this could also be included in my won’t give up list, so it’s a toss up right now as I eat Xmas cookies while I write this.

Writing a year-end manifesto can make some powerful changes as you shape what you want your world to be like. It also can help you stay more in-tuned to what you want, which for most empaths, is hard to do. We are wired to be in-tuned to those around us and our environment first.

(Excerpt from Tips for the Sensitive ebook. Now available by pre-order here.)