I’ve been learning a thing or two about one of the most important tools for a sensitive person: BOUNDARIES. I’ve written about this in my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive. Using your empathic skills, you can better read energy and then protect yourself. Go to the Animal Spirit Network to sign up for my upcoming teleclass, Better Boundaries for Sensitives. It’s on Wednesday night! Head on over to HERE.
Incidently, the class has now passed, but you can still buy it on demand at Animal Spirit Network.
I have some things in life that get me going. The big one is ignorance. Ignorance is lacking knowledge. What bothers me the most is when someone chooses to stay without knowledge even though it is provided to them.
I’ve seen this before, folks actually believing that if you have mediumship abilities that you are working in kahoots with the devil. Oh, for goodness sake! Are you serious? No, really?
This is an awful belief for the many, many of us who are intuned to the spiritual world. What are you supposed to do, put a lampshade on your head and pretend you don’t feel or see the spirit in the room? That’s like ignoring the elephant in the room.
It’s a little hard to arrange your furniture.
I watched a cute movie last night about an alien PAUL who gets stranded on earth. There is a funny scene where a woman who is strongly bible-based in her teachings is faced with the alien and she stares right at him and says he doesn’t exist basically because her teachings say he doesn’t.
Since I was six years old, I could sense spirits in the room. It was rather scary because I’d be screaming and my mom would rush into the room and see nothing but I sure could. It wasn’t an ability I embraced or felt support on how to deal with in any way. What a horrible belief, then, to say that I am from the devil or working with the dark because I have this ability! Could we create more fear? That’s a rather conditional acceptance. Much like if you were gay, or divorced, or short, or tall, or whatever…are any of these wrong? If God made us, we are what we are, and God thinks we are just fine as we are and must know about our abilities.
When we do mediumship or talk to spirits, we are not in any way replacing our connection or communication to God. Like we even could if we are a part of God. Sure, you can talk to bad or dark spirits if you aren’t careful, just like you can talk to dark or bad people in your every day life!
You know, anything can be of “the devil.” I can have an ability for anything and can twist it to work for the dark or the bad. It’s my intention or how I use my abilities. If I use my mediumship abilities to hurt people and take advantage of them, yes, that’s not a good thing; that’s hurtful. But it’s an ability to see or feel and it can help give someone help or closure or continued relationship. That’s a miracle. That’s all good. Miracles and good are from the light, not the dark. God is all about miracles.
My bigger question is, what are folks afraid of when they ask this question? What’s really happening? Are they questioning their teachings? Are they afraid of what they may hear or discover? Are they just not ready? Do they need the world or life to fit into a small box so they feel safe? Then we honor where they are and slowly back away.We are all here learning different things with different understandings at different levels.
My concern is more for the beginning and lost natural mediums out there who don’t need to feel like they are ostracized and wrong for who they are. It’s just an ability you have like being able to sing well, or dance. You can just see or feel or hear. You’re evolving and growing. The world has many layers and dimensions and you’re just picking up on that.Your blinders are being taken off.
And next time I pick up on my Mom visiting and floating nearby, I am going to thank God over and over again for this gift he/she gave me so I can have a continued relationship with the woman who meant so much to me.
Yesterday, I received a phonecall at 8 a.m. from a salesman from a web hosting company. He was perky and happy, and I was cranky and still hadn’t had breakfast. Immediately I felt his energy as if I was getting caught up in a strong wave in the ocean–I was deep under, pressured, and overwhelmed. He asked me a great deal of questions so I didn’t have space or time to even squeak in a “not interested.” He must have been looking down at a list of notes when he said, “So, you have just the one website? Fairyonlineschool.com?” I played dumb. I had over 6 months ago dissolved that website and morphed it into this one. “Sure,” I said, but I was deeply irritated. He hadn’t done the least bit of research on my company to see what I needed and what my company was about.
“Wouldn’t you love to have a company go over your site and make sure you have the right key words, etc.?” Now, I hate all that left brain marketing stuff. (Yes, some of it is necessary.) It may work for some companies, but I explained, “I have a very niche business with a specific audience and I seem to be reaching them. I need to do more of what I’ve been doing.”
“Yes, of course…” He went on and on not hearing me.
This pissed me off more. Here I am in a business that specializes in hearing people and even hearing the layers underneath of people, and all I could feel was that used car salesman mentality: he just wanted to make the sale and get the car off the lot. Who cares if a month ahead I’d find that the radiator leaks and the starter sucks and I’m miserable with the car?
I’ve met this personality before outside of business, and I’m sure you have, and it’s irritating and upsetting. The question that comes to mind is, “where are my needs even in this picture?!” As empaths, we are so used to feeling others’ needs and wanting to help and please, maybe we even forget we have any needs in the first place! The salesman comes along to give you a gentle or not so gentle reminder: Oops, I forgot my needs again! Oh man, again? So focused on others, we get lost in the pleasing tornado. We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance. We will buy that lemon car and be resentful and pissy for months, or even years.
We are supremely juicy to a salesman when we are out of balance.
The antidote is to know and state your needs, instead of ignoring them, or do what I do, which is whine and be bitchy when my needs are forgotten along the line. I suggest using what I call the EMMA LOU METHOD. Now there’s the Sedona Method and a bunch of others, but this one really works. When Emma Lou, my basset hound, has a need and wants to get her need met she:
a. puts her head in my hands gently to instigate a petting when she needs it
b. jumps up and sits on my lap when she needs attention
c. is naughty and steals food to get my attention
I don’t recommend the aggressive “c” tactic as it’s almost as bad and aggressive as the used car salesman technique. Tactic “a” is a nice one that simply states I need this and it’s up to you if you can give it to me or not. This is a great way to make your needs known while respecting others’ needs. Most humans can not use tactic “b” as it falls under the category of “awkward.”
Try it out. See how it works for you. I’m sure I will come up with a workshop and a best-selling book on the method, and then I will surely need an aggressive used-car salesman personality to sell it for me. Your phone may be ringing soon.
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To read more posts visit my new website’s Sensitive Artist blog here. and do check out my Help! I’m Sensitive book series there.
from the Fairy Healing the Feminine class
The following is from the my new class, Fairy Healing the Feminine, that starts on Friday. Sign-ups still happening so rush on over to reserve your space.
We share as a country, a universal need to “get it right.” We watch television programs, such as American Idol, that judge our performances and lavish praise only after we “get it right,” and it is someone else’s version of right. On the other side of this belief is our desperate need for approval, but when it’s never right we never receive what we need. We are still expecting someone else to deliver it to us. Because at that glorious wished-for moment, when we are told we’ve gotten it just right, our shoulders release, our body sighs, and pride fills our empty container. Without this we are still waiting, always on the Tarmac, never taking flight.
The answer to healing our shared belief is to forego waiting and reward our efforts now. It is the new female energy coming in to finally help us claim our prize. Balancing our need to be, this soft gentle voice tells us we already are. Yes, we may not have dotted all our “I”s, and maybe we’ve made mistakes and might have done things “wrong,” but who cares. We are learning and that’s good, because that’s why we are here, after all. It’s the voice of compassion–new to some of us. The Great Mother, who tells us it will all be all right; we’ve done our best. This voice is more concerned with the journey and how we feel. Just once when I watch American Idol I want to hear the judge say, “Yes you sang badly, but did you have fun?”
Fight this old thoughtform with its worn-out jagged edges. You will never get it right, nor are you supposed to. You are meant to learn and learn you do. And soon you will one day wake up smiling, because rather than focusing on checking off all the rules, you will remember instead to enjoy—really deep down enjoy—the journey, and for that, you will have accomplished something real. You will know what it feels like to have true pride and self-approval.
Our beagle girl, Lilibeth, lived under the bed most of her long life. Now, don’t get me wrong, we weren’t these horrible abusers who forced her there. She had her rather timid side and somewhere along the way, learned that under the bed was a safe place to watch for dangers. She often stole things of interest and dragged them into her beagle lair and we’d find the funniest things, often what was missing. What Lilibeth taught me, as a sensitive person, was maintaining the gentle balance between being under the bed and coming out from under the bed. Not an easy task.
In my enthusiasm, I can be too “out” and social and find myself picking up on everyone’s feelings, tired, and seriously overloaded. My first signs of overload can be a head cold, ungroundedness that looks like I’m a complete airhead, or the worse one, bitchiness and a short temper.It will feel like my skin is too uncomfortable to wear.
Too “in” looks a little like I’m a crazy person–a tiny bit paranoid, fearful, claustrophobic and obsessed with figuring out the big puzzles of the world. That’s the extreme. You know when you are too “in” when you get that weird look in your eye and the world seems scary and threatening.
I do like the under the bed technique but there are too many dustballs under there so I can’t stay too long.
For an empath, balancing the two really is about being very aware of what your body is feeling and listening. With the energies going around right now, it’s no wonder we are all inclined to stay under a little longer. And that’s okay, as long as we venture out a bit also. The world needs your energy.
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For more tips for the Sensitive, buy my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive. Or, consider booking a reading.
Yay! So exciting… I just received my copy of Dogs Naturally magazine with my article, When Your Animal is Ill: The Importance of Listening. It reads great! I really like the magazine and am impressed with the informative articles on homeopathy and other natural ways to heal our dogs. To get your copy and to subscribe go here.
What I Am Learning:
What we are all dealing with now, whether some aware or not, is our core beliefs (that old childhood poo) to heal and clear. What that means is we are all going to be pushing each other’s buttons. This can look like:
— Why did you say THAT? You insensitive clod.
— Why do I always have stomach aches, or headaches and colds? Or fill in the blank.
— Why does this pattern always happen to me, and here it is happening again and in a huge way!
The good news is when things are really at the head of clearing and healing, it looks and feels the worse. If you can just ride that rollercoaster one last time, it will heal when those big insights start to spill out to understanding.
I believe strongly that healing is not going around it, avoiding it, or being fake spiritual about it. I have found in my own life, you just can’t rush to compassion and forgiveness. Or healing. There’s a great deal of anger, hurt, and grief– sometime a lot of ugly– first you need to clear out. Just like in grief, you can’t rush to acceptance and just move on. You need that moment of screaming at God. Real healing comes from understanding and feeling all the feelings, even the scary and ugly ones.
Repression just hurts…usually physically.
We are helping each other now when we push those buttons. Yes, you’re pissed at your friend for saying that one insane comment out of nowhere, but it did bring up a puzzle piece for that core issue to heal. I am not excusing meanness though. Even if you have compassion and understanding for what someone is going through, and they are hurting, it’s no excuse for them to dump or project their crap on you and be out and out mean. As sensitive people, we often “carry” that stuff, or agree to be the scapegoat. (That was my role in childhood. No more, thank you very much.) That is not helping anyone in anyway to heal anything.
So as you ride this rollercoaster to true, deep healing, how do you survive everyone walking around acting crazy and having their buttons pushed left and right? (I have this funny image in my head from the movie Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds where the stars are trying to run from one building to another without a ton of birds pecking out their heads.)
I asked for guidance for a tool and got a clear answer. Boundaries. Like, not allowing meanness, or stepping aside when someone is flipping out. Try not to take things personally either. I’m really good at that, like most empaths. Communication is key here.We can say what we want in or out.* We can be very clear if we aren’t comfortable and what we can’t talk about, by saying it in a gentle way. I always think that those who can hear your boundaries right now, are safe and move towards. Those who can’t, in this moment, are not safe, and you need to move away from, until they are able to hear you, if that is possible.* Being able to be heard is extremely important and many of us had childhoods when that didn’t happen, or worse, when we did say something, we were yelled at or attacked, even shamed for what we said. That’s why being heard now, as adults, is very important, indeed.
Cool thing happened to me with validation on this tool. I heard the word “Boundaries” in meditation for a few days. When I woke up to check my mail, I noticed my Illustration Friday’s theme was Boundaries. Each week Illustration Friday has an artistic prompt theme to create by. At that site, you can suggest themes. There is usually a long backlog of having your theme picked. I have tried my hand at suggesting themes a few times. Well, this week’s theme was suggested by….me! There was even a link to my old design blog alongside the new blog, which tells me I suggested that theme a long time ago. Coincidence? We know better.
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*I cover this in my Care of the Sensitive class and my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive available for purchase here at the site.
In this month’s newsletter:
– Facing Fear
– How to know your animal is your spirit guide
– Featured Healing Fairy Alphabet Card: F is for Fear Monster
– Psychic Tip: The Fear and Physical Symptoms May Not be Yours
– Afraid You Lost Yourself? An Excerpt from the Fairy Healing the Feminine class
– The flower essences that will help you move forward in spite of fear
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