Pulling away old beliefs; self esteem

I love how the Universe throws in your face what you need to work on when you need to work on it. Many times, the stuff coming up is the stuff that is finally ready to leave. In the past few weeks, my past arrived at my front door–all the old stuff that brought with it old messages that when I tell myself these things I feel like poo. Had it become so automatic in me to talk to myself like that?

Our relatives visited and with them came very old roles I no longer fit into, as well as, old familiar insecurities and bad feelings from long ago. Then there were the old friends which brought back very old roles & a teenage persona, and I realized how different a person I was now. But why were the feelings that came up as raw as if I were back in those school days? Because when the stuff is leaving it IS in your face. It’s time for it to leave! All this old stuff I realized, was a great deal of other people’s stuff that I took personally. As an empath, I often do that. I get lost in the goop and forget to get out.

But that visit and the old friends & the old stuff brought me grown-up realizations which is a good thing. There were old beliefs. One big one yesterday I’d like to share. My folks believed (and still do) that your worth is based on how things look. So, whenever my life or I didn’t measure up, or wasn’t as good as, or didn’t appear big or exciting enough, I wasn’t worth while. This belief was so buried down I had no idea I even thought it! (I actually had an old boyfriend in college look at me and tell me I wasn’t glamorous enough! That same belief coming up to clear.) And you know what? Here, all along, it wasn’t my belief to begin with!

Gradually I am realizing my life, for me, is about how I feel. Am I happy? Does what I do make me feel good? Help others? Do I feel good? My soul and who I am is much more than how I appear, as for everyone of you.

What beliefs have come up for you lately that are ready to vamoose? I’ll give you a clue which ones are the old ones, any belief that starts out by saying, “You should be _____ (fill in the blank), to be acceptable.” Let it go…